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Friday, April 11, 2014

I Have a Cold, Cold Heart

This is a not-so-short PSA announcing that I just may shoot myself if I have to hear even one more off-key, beltingly loud version of Frozen's "Let It Go."  I know you mommas of girls know what I'm talking about.  I think every North American girl between the ages of three and 11 knows nearly every line of that movie and the entire! stinkin'! soundtrack!

And even some of the boys.

I actually loved the movie the first time I saw it.  And the second.  And even possibly the tenth.  But now?  Now I basically want to shoot myself in the eye every time I hear the opening strains of Christophe Beck's score.  My poor husband, who must daily "play princesses" with the Tongginator and Squirt for at least ten minutes, is ready to create an eternal winter at Tonggu House just to avoid the reprimands.  No, y'all, it's not me correcting the poor guy... it's the girls.  They express their frustrations with him daily.  Why, you may ask?  Well, he dares to remain clueless of the movie's dialog.  He knows the general plot, of course, so less obnoxious discriminating children would probably give his paraphrasing a pass, but my girls expect him to deliver his lines word for word.

Word for stinking word, y'all.

When he makes a mistake, their long-suffering sighs and impatient corrections chase their dad away faster than you can say "Oaken's trading post."  Typically the girls assign him the role of Kristoff, but sometimes he must also fill in for Hans or Sven.  The Tongginator is always Elsa, whereas Squirt waffles between Anna and Olaf.  (Did I tell y'all Squirt chose to be a snowman for Halloween?  Because she did.  And that was even before Olaf came on the scene.  For some strange reason, that girl LOVES snowmen.)  When their high standards chase their dad away, the girls then revert to belting out various songs from the soundtrack.

I must confess, I can no longer tolerate "Let it Go."

Or even "Love is an Open Door."

Although even my frozen heart must concede that Squirt's version of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" IS priceless.

And then there is Squirt's gloves saga.  She found elbow-length gloves in our dress-up bin about two weeks ago.  Since then she's refused to do pretty much anything unless she's wearing her "Elsa gloves."  I draw the line at bathroom trips and mealtimes, but the playground?  School?  Church?  Trips to Target?  Whatever - it's not worth the battle.  The gloves wouldn't be so bad, except whenever she's wearing them, she holds her fingers at these funny angles, one can only assume mimicking Elsa as she shoots out imaginary ice and snow.

Squirt loves to run with her fingers splayed in front of her, arms stretched straight forward, with a blue tiara perched atop her head.  Wherever she is.  WHEREVER she is, y'all... through the mall, at the playground, down the aisles of our church sanctuary.  WHEREVER.  The Tongginator, on the other hand, only "plays Frozen" when ensured complete privacy (excluding immediate family members, of course).  She tends to don a "cape" she created out of an over-sized scarf and run around the house, stomping her foot.  I'm guessing she's imitating Elsa creating the frozen river/ocean/whatever body of water that is.

Please tell me I'm not the only one dealing with Frozen drama at my house.  I know I can't be, if the  barren store shelves that should be stocked with Frozen merchandise mean anything. I can't be alone in this.  And if y'all don't hear from me again, it's probably because I'm recovering from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

I'm just saying.


3cmum said...

Last week we had a girl scout talent show - K-5 mostly. Of the 7 individual acts, 4 sang Let it Go, one sang Love is an Open Door and one played Let it Go on the piano. REALLY! Hear you!

Lisa @ Trapped In North Jersey said...

My 4 yr old has been wearing pink flannel mittens for two weeks because I have yet to buy her the elbow length gloves. Its 85 degrees here.

Have you seen the Let It Goat video on youtube? It is screaming goats interspersed into the song.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I have not, Lisa - I'll have to check it out. Sounds hysterical.

Sharie Greif said...

Oh I don't know what's worse...Let it Go or Happy. I am SICK TO DEATH of both songs.
I've only seen the movie once; and we own it. Even my 3rd grader is sick of it.
Amelia's school talent show was today, I missed, but there were 2 renditions of "Do you Wanna Build a Snowman?" And t the finale was "Let it Go". I'm sure it was unbelievable knowing the little girl who sang it; I'm also sure every person there had it stuck in their head all day!

TeeHart said...

Oh Tonggu Momma,

This dad feels the same way and wrote a parody about Frozen... so funny!


Would you believe I have not even bought the movie for my 8 year old yet? ;)

Have a lovely day!

Tricia said...

Not dealing with Frozen but I dared to loan "A Goofy Movie" to an adorable 2yo... after 2 weeks, when said 2yo was napping, the mother sent her 7yo upstairs with this message, "My mom doesn't like this movie anymore." I laughed for a good 5 minutes!!

Mei-Ling said...

I've been playing Let It Go while video gaming on my headset. On a very low volume.

I am pretty sure my teammates would kill me if they knew. One of them was even "If you're going to have music in the background, I don't want to hear Frozen. Or anything to do with it. No one will shut up about it."

Casa Bicicleta said...

We only saw the movie once but somehow Bicicleta Girl has the lyrics all figured out and sings it all the time.


It could be worse. Right?

Anonymous said...

Is it wrong to hate a children's song so much? Because I do....


A said...

We just got back from a week at Disney. You think it's bad hearing it 24/7 from your children? Add in every other freaking kid we walked by - boy/girl didn't matter. They were ALL singing it (in addition to my girls who were inspired to then sing along every.single.time).

4-7 hour waits to see Anna and Elsa, by the way. We opted out and waved at them from the gift shop viewing area instead.

Liene said...

Both of our kids won't stop talking about Frozen now that we own it on DVD. They talked about it for a few days after they saw it in the movie theater, but then it faded. Our oldest belts it out when it comes on the radio in the car as several local stations play it at least a few times a day.

It's been long time since I've been around to read your blog. I stopped blogging for over a year until yesterday. Hope the kids are doing well.

Diva Maman said...

Driving to school...EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I have to have a "microphone" - it's a my little pony - and sing the non-Elsa parts.


LucisMomma said...

We have the same thing here! I feel your pain.

May I suggest you just let it go?


Reena said...

My 7 and 6-year old like the movie, but are not crazy ga-ga over anything Princess themed.

My 17-year old (nearly 18-year old) Step-daughter on the other hand, is constantly breaking into singing "Let it Go." I wish she would-- let it go already!!!

Have you heard the parady song-- Will you help me hide a body?


Amy said...

What? You are blogging again?! Yay! Somehow I have managed to survive without seeing Frozen. My kids haven't seen it either. Random children in my life come up to me and start singing lyrics, expecting me to join in, and I stare blankly. When I inform them I have no idea what they are singing they look at me like my skin turned green and I grew horns. They are horrified. Oh well. I am quite happy in my ignorant little world. The joys of having mostly boys plus one tomboy.