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Monday, January 30, 2012

I Think This Makes Me Officially Old

I know a lot of y'all are gonna laugh at me because you left this milestone in the dust long ago.  I mean, most of y'all adopted from China, and I realize I'm a spring chicken in the China-adoption community.  But I still feel old, as in searching for the gray hairs (found! one! in! my! eyebrow! yesterday!) and rubbing extra lotion on my hands old.

This past week I received a Facebook group invitation.

For my 20th high school reunion.

The Husband and I are debating whether or not we should go.  Because I didn't have many friends in high school, and the few close friends I had are unlikely to attend this reunion.  You see, I attended there my junior and senior years of high school, alongside the children of politicians, lawyers and various other muckity-mucks who'd been in school together since kindergarten.  (Seriously, y'all, in one class I even sat next to the daughter of a guy who ran for President.  Of the United States.  I mean, in case that was unclear.)  Plus, there was the whole obnoxious, know-it-all thingAhem.  The few friends I managed to make and keep were military brats like myself, transplanted into... well... the h-word comes to mind... for one to three years before graduation released them.

But I am sort of local.  Like, just on the other side of the beltway local.  For you non-DC people, that means I graduated from high school in Northern Virginia, and now live within an hour's drive just over the state border in Maryland.  So we wouldn't have to travel far.  Technically, we wouldn't even need to stay in a hotel for the night, although we probably would just to make life easier.

Except that my high school years truly were that bad.  My husband thought I exaggerated until we attended my 10th reunion, well, ten years ago.  It was pretty horrible.  I'm told most ten year reunions are like that.  Are they always terrible?  Are the twentieth reunions any better?  Tell me the truth, y'all... I want you to think of the most annoyingly geeky nerd in your high school and ask yourself, "was it good that he/she came?"  Because that was pretty much me.  I wasn't the smartest in my graduating class, by far, but I probably was the most annoying.  Should I still attend?

And yes, I realize this makes me old.

And incredibly insecure.

What is it about reunions that turn us okay, me into quivering masses of teen angst once again?

33 comments:

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

I didn't go to my 20th reunion which was several years back now. The people I liked I have stayed in touch with, the rest, meh, don't really need to know what happened with their lives. If you don't really care about the people who are likely to be there, don't bother going.

Pamster said...

I agree. Just don't go. It doesn't sound like there is any logical reason to go.

Carissa said...

Oh no quick math tells me I have a 20th high school reunion this year as well....and ummm high school was h@ll for me. As in I was the target for many bullies, a school full, it was words and not fists but I have no desire to see many of them again. Hmmm we will see what happens with mine, thanks for the reminder and let me know what you decide. Good luck, I will likely not attend mine!

Aus said...

Good morning my friend - wow - you are a youngen!! I'm coming up on my 35th high school reunion!!

It's been my experience that the reunion's varied from rewarding to fun to just plain amusing!! Well, my bride's more than mine! I mean where else can you go and see 1) folks that have finally grown up and are capable of adult conversations - and maybe even a little contrite (rewarding to see), 2) Enjoy the oldies and even dance a little without feeling too stupid (fun), and 3) see how some adults have never grown up and are still acting like idiots, drink too much and fall down a lot (amusing to me!!).

I'd go - if for no other reason that to let them see that no matter what they thought about you "back in the day" - you turned out to be one of the most happy and well rounded folks with an incredibly satisfying life and family!

Sometimes it's good to let folks see a success story....and you are one!

And I like to laugh at folks sometimes....never hurts!

hugs - aus and co.

Christina said...

Nahh, I wouldn't go. I just had my 10th reunion. Didn't even bother. I went to a really large high school, so of course there were lots of people invited. The handful of people I still keep in touch with were mostly not going anyway. The only reasons I could think of to attend were rather snarky, ie. most of the people got fat and I didn't. Plus, it costed money that I didn't want to spend to be snarky. So I opted to decline the invitation! I suppose if I were curious enough about the others, I might've gone. But really, I would be paying to spend money with people I'm mostly indifferent about and who feel the same about me!

And btw - you're not old! I have WHITE hairs (And a white stripe EEK!) and a few white eyelashes. And I don't even have kids! ;)

Amy said...

My 20th isn't for another few years (there- does that make you feel even older??!!). :) I tried to attend my 10-year, but got into a BIG argument with the hubs in the car on the way. We literally pulled in the drive way of the event, turned around, and drove right back home (thankfully, I'm pretty local as well). I didn't really miss going, and I probably won't go to the 20th. Most of my highschool friends "went with" my ex-highschool-sweetheart after we broke up, so there's really no love lost there. I saw take the evening & have a nice date-night with your hubs!! :)
Amy
www.babybellylau ghs.blogspo t.com

prechrswife said...

My class didn't actually have a 20th reunion, but they did have a big school-wide reunion back in December (small, private school that is no longer open). I would have liked to have gone, but we didn't have the vacation time. I did go with my husband to his a few years ago. He was somewhat like you described yourself in school, except he had been there for his whole life. That said, he was glad he went and was impressed by how much some people had changed as they had grown into adulthood. Of course, a few hadn't, but that's human nature. (and those kept to themselves).

And I now feel really old, knowing you are 2 years younger than I am. ;-)

Jennifer said...

You made me realize that I graduated from high school 17 years ago! I can hardly believe it so I double checked on a calculator!

Personally, I wouldn't go to my reunion. I didn't care for the high school experience and the few people I did like I still keep in touch with. It might be true that the jerks are nice now, but I don't want to take the chance that they are still jerks. I can still feel my blood pressure rise when I remember how I was treated by a particular few who are sure to come to any reunion.

I'd say... if you know some of the people you do like are going to be in town, then arrange for a small dinner party or something to enjoy their company.

autumnesf said...

I went to so many schools. If I ever got an invite I'd be like "why?". But see, the high school I actually graduated from must feel the same way....

Which might be unfair considering I moved the last semester of my senior year also. Now that sucked.

Desiree' said...

Sounds like me...I graduated after attending only two years with kids who spent their whole lives togther...not fun, went to my 10th...ick, skipped the 20th last year...no need to go. I have friends and am not interested in seeing old high school kids who may or may not have been nice...just my opinion though :)

TK said...

I didn't go to my 20th either. Not that I am old enough for my 20th because, you know, I'm only 29...
;)

Casa Bicicleta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marla said...

I went to mine, but I'm one of those weirdos that still hangs with a lot of the people I went to school with. I say go, if you hate it, you can always play the kid-needs-us-at-home card and get the heck out of there.

Sorry I haven't been around lately, I must catch up on your blog!!

Nikki said...

My 20th should be this year if there is one. I will probably go just to show off pictures of my kids. See a few people that i don't often get to see. Look on the bright side, you can always tell them that you are a famous internet blogger now.

Nikki said...

My 20th should be this year if there is one. I will probably go just to show off pictures of my kids. See a few people that i don't often get to see. Look on the bright side, you can always tell them that you are a famous internet blogger now.

Casa Bicicleta said...

I didn't go to my high school reunion because I was listed as MIA. (teehee) I just couldn't imagine going back to see people I didn't have any meaningful relationship with. Sure I was curious where they had ended up in their lives but not enough to go stand around a roomful of people I never cared about.

I did, however, go to my college reunion. I had wonderful friendships, and still do, with many people from college.

Whatever you end up doing TM, you have to pinky swear you will write about it. Curious minds want to know what you do!

Ironsan said...

Skip it. I went to a large high school and while it was not hell for me, I have skipped every reunion. Friends have gone so I know I did not miss anything. There is just too much posturing at reunions for any real connections and the friends you kept in contact with since then, are the real people you would want to spend time with anyway.

LucisMomma said...

I hated my high school years, too. My dad was flabbergsted when I said I had no desire to attend reunions (they still live in the town where I graduated--I live 2000 miles away). One of the reunions was a cruise--gross! To be stuck on a ship with a bunch of people who wouldn't talk to me when I was in high school. (geeks at my school had few friends) Didn't want to relive that.

Deb said...

I was a military brat too. Came into my high school before my junior year. I was not able to attend my 10th reunion, but I did attend my 20th year reunion. I will never attend another reunion. The same stupid clicques from high school were still in play, I could not believe it. I talked to another firend when our 25th reunion came up and he indicated the same thing- no way was he going given how bad it was at the 20th year.

my vote- skip it. take a weekend getaway with your husband and enjoy yourselves without the kids and without all the left over HS drama.

Mahmee said...

Why would you want to subject yourself (and most likely put money toward) that kind of torture? You're a Mom! Aren't your days already filled with self-doubt, insecurity and worry? I know mine are. I'm coming up on what would be my class's 28th reunion. I'll be passing on that one just as I have all others. Blech. I've always thought of Highschool as something one has to endure. Get it over with and get the heck out. No one ever has to go back. Grab your man and run...run the other way!...for a nice weekend elsewhere.
M.

Girly Girl Mommy said...

So with you. My 20th is this summer. Got a FB group invite-thingy too. And went to a neighboring HS (we emailed about that a year or so ago), so I can really understand the make up of the kids- ahh, the lovely greater DC area! I had a great HS experience- with my mini crowd. Don't care to see the greater masses. I've gotten more info than was necessary already by reading the FB group posts. Something about "20th" makes me feel old, and I'm not ready to admit that in person either.
~Kelly

Sharie said...

My 20th was last summer, made me feel old too...I went to my 10 year stayed about 90 minutes and talked to one of my good friends from high school (who didn't go to my school, but happened to marry one of the tolerable girls in my class). When his wife came up and told me everyone was asking who the chick was talking to the husbands I decided it was time to leave.
I figured if I wasn't even recognized I probably wouldn't be missed the rest of the weekend. There were 86 kids in our class BTW, not a huge schoo;)
I skipped the 20 actually left work and walked to my car parked across the street from where the Friday night event was, right as it was starting. A few of my friends went, but most of those I want to see, I see outside of the reunion and those I would have liked to see weren't going. I didn't see a point in hanging out in a bar with a bunch of people I hardly know feeling awkward. I too was the annoying person in our class and seem to revert to that when I am uncomfortable;)

Logical Libby said...

I was told by someone who went to their 20th it is THE reunion you don't want to miss, because it's the one where you get to see who got fat. 10 years, everyone still looks the same. 20? Fatsville.

Still, don't go if you think you are going to hate it.

Claudia said...

Go! It'll be weird, but it'll be hilarious.

Briana's Mom said...

You might remember I just dealt with this exact issue back in July.

http://waitingforbriana.blogspot.com/2011/07/conquering-my-fear-my-20th-hs-reunion.html

I actually had a very good time at both of my reunions. If you go, just have a back up plan. We were going to duck out and go to a movie if the reunion stunk. We didn't need the backup plan, but it was nice knowing I had one! LOL!

planetnomad said...

I don't know why reunions turn us into quivering masses of teenage angst, but they do, so I have never gone to a reunion. in fact, i'd managed to get off all lists and be completely "lost" (easier said than done as I went to a small christian high school where my mother was school nurse and my brother teaches at another nearby school). Now, thanks to facebook, I am once again "found." I still don't go. For one, they cost money. Why would I spend money for the dubious pleasure of seeing people I didn't like much in high school, when I could spend money on a date or taking my kids someplace fun? My thoughts, anyway.

planetnomad said...

I don't know why reunions turn us into quivering masses of teenage angst, but they do, so I have never gone to a reunion. in fact, i'd managed to get off all lists and be completely "lost" (easier said than done as I went to a small christian high school where my mother was school nurse and my brother teaches at another nearby school). Now, thanks to facebook, I am once again "found." I still don't go. For one, they cost money. Why would I spend money for the dubious pleasure of seeing people I didn't like much in high school, when I could spend money on a date or taking my kids someplace fun? My thoughts, anyway.

Alyson and Ford said...

My HS class didn't have alot of reunions and there were so many people in our graduating class (380+), that I was only friends with about 40 of them.... But I did decide to attend my 35th last summer (yep, I think I am the oldest Mom of a five-year old!) and had a wonderful time. Heck, it was all good, who can remember anything from 35 years ago? A barrel of laughs. Enjoy it if you decide to go!

Alyzabeth's Mommmy

snekcip said...

I personally had a GREAT time at ALL our class reunions!! I went to the 10th, 20th and can't WAIT until the 30th (2013)!! My HS close friends *who I stay in contact w/often* fly in from the states in which they now reside. I don't know how other HS reunions are but ours usually begin on a Thurs and end on a Sunday!! GOOD TIMES ALL AROUND!! HS reunions are BIG in my part of the woods and each class usually always have a good turnout. I think it solely rest on whether HS was a good experience for the individual.

The Byrd's Nest said...

Yuck...high school:( I graduated 31 years ago and have never been to one of my reunions. I didn't like high school and I only keep in touch with two people I graduated with. So in my opinion, if you didn't enjoy those people then...you probably are not going to enjoy them now. Stay home and snuggle with the ones you love the most:)

Cedar said...

Oh, and I didn't go to my 20 year high school reunion and I didn't feel any guilt. But now that I kind of would like to, I don't have the opportunity. This summer is my husband's but I don't think it will happen. Traveling so soon after the baby doesn't seem like something to plan on.

Carrie said...

My 20 year was last summer. My excuse was that my brother was getting married, but I wouldn't have gone regardless. I live about 7 hrs away and my parents live there but the people I wanted to see didn't go. Also, I technically wasn't invited. Weird, but true. The popular kids got tmjuuu. Vvvggvvvvogether and made plans and then sent out kkkk

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh, I certainly HOPE the 20 year will be better than the 10 year!! I went to the 10 year...a few years ago. ;-) It was way too many people, crammed into way too small a room, with music that was way too loud. (I don't have a great excuse not to go, either - I moved "home." As in, the reunion was a 15 minute drive from where I live. ;-))