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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Attack of the Killer Grater

I don't know how I manage to do stuff like this, y'all. Okay, so I do know how, I just don't happen to like the answer. Sensory issues, oh sensory issues, thy shall be the death of me.

Yesterday evening I spent about an hour making one of the Tongginator's favorite meals. It contains four of the ten basic goodness ingredients, namely sausage, onions, garlic and parmesan cheese. I mean, really, does it get much better than those? Unfortunately for poor Mr. Parmesan Cheese, I may have to fire him from my ingredients top ten after The Grater Incident yesterday.


I'm lucky I only took off that teeny bit of nail. And slightly bitter that parmesan is such a hard cheese. Why couldn't it be all soft like mozzarella and therefore idiot-grate-proof?

Please tell me your most ridiculous kitchen accident story. With my "I am a total idiot" mantra running high, I need all of the reassurance I can get. Plus, it will distract me from the pain (oh! the! pain!). And of course these last few nail-biting weeks waiting for referral.

Oh wait, I can't do any nail-biting.

Cuz I don't have any left.

31 comments:

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

I usually get a least one nail during any sort of peeling (esp potato's) but I do use a weird vegetable peeler apparently.

PS: I just buy pre grated parmesan - its the safe, easy and lazy way. :)

Corey said...

My birthday is on Saturday. Thus, I predict that you will get a referral on Friday. Happy birthday! xoxo

Elouise82 said...

I gave myself tennis elbow chopping sweet potatoes a couple of weeks ago. And dulled our best kitchen knife. I still have a twinge every now and again in my elbow when using a knife.

Oh, and I often grate parmesan in the food processor - because I shudder to admit how many times my nails have ended up in the cheese!

Laurie said...

Ouchy, ouchy, ouchy!!! I don't have any kitchen stories. We eat out a lot. :)

Aus said...

Ouch - ya'll need one of those mini-food processor thingme's - we call ours 'whacky whacky' cause it whacks things up real fine!

Most of my bad kitchen stories revolve around burns - ya know - like grabing the rack in the oven that's been on for an hour bare handed because you're distracted by kids that might run up on the oven door and burn themselves? Stupid stuff like that!

hugs - aus and co.

Foxxy One said...

I second the use of the food processor for large batches.

My kitchen story, well - it involves my husband cooking with hot peppers and then getting frisky later. Let's just say I wasn't a happy camper. It earned me the nickname of red hot Julie peppers :)

happygeek said...

I've done that to my thumb ( we have a lay down grater) doing cheddar. And I don't have spd issues. Just a big klutz.
And the other day I came with in a milimetre of reaching into boiling water to move some asparagus that had shifted. With bare hands.
You are JUST fine.
Best kitchen story? I once set an oven mitt on fire.

autumnesf said...

I can't use a potato peeler without taking off the top of my finger. I finally gave up and use a knife even with all the waste. It never happened with carrots...but ALWAYS with potatoes.

gingerandlime said...

I have lots of embarrassing kitchen stories. I once took all the skin off the top of my finger with a vegetable peeler; I've cut myself while chopping many times; I've also had several embarrassing hot pepper incidents (like Foxxy One above).

I don't know if I'm a super-duper klutz, or if this just comes with the territory of cooking with more enthusiasm than skill.

Wendy said...

I was so thrown off by your seemingly grey skintone that I think I lost the whole point of the story! LOL!

And, just so you know...when that picture comes up in the teeny tiny icon beside your post on my blog roll, it looks a teeny tiny bit, well, obscene! LOL!

I don't cook enough to have any kitchen disasters, though my husband did saw my wedding ring off my finger in the kitchen. I blogged about it last year. That's the best I've got!

Andrea said...

I should have left well enough alone. I wanted to chop up just a few more green onions. I ended up slicing a chunk of my forefinger and nail off. Needless to say, we didn't eat THOSE onions.

prechrswife said...

Ouch! I don't have any recent kitchen stories because hubby does most of our cooking.

Gayla said...

Oh so glad to know it's not just ME!!! EVERY kitchen adventure I have ends up in chaos. Not my forte, but my family keeps getting hungry... ;-)

I did manage to make an Ethiopian dish last night for the celebration of our 1 year as a family... and made it w/o any major incidents... and it tasted GOOD! Maybe there is hope for me...

Myrnie said...

I slit my wrist with a bread knife 10 minutes before 20 people arrived for Christmas Eve dinner, trying to take the top rind off a round of brie. (Topped the brie with marmalade and baked it, once I could control the bleeding.)

Sarah said...

Could be worse. I never regained sensation on half of the tip of my finger after my kitchen accident.

http://www.mylittlelantern.com/2008/01/what-not-to-do-with-new-cutco-knives.html

Wendy said...

Oh, I've had a hot chili pepper incident like Foxxy's. Feel the burn.

Cedar said...

When I was first married I made an elaborate meal for my husband, including Parmesan chicken. However, although I took the casserole dish carefully out of the oven with oven mitts, I lifted the lid with my hands. 2 fingers and a thumb were burned and hurt, hurt, hurt. I was up all night with the pain and putting ice packs on them. I rarely cooked after that.

Wanda said...

Ouch - that's nasty. I get arm fatique because I refuse to use really sharp knives after my mother almost lost a finger when I was 5. She scarred me!! (And if you say that with an accent it would still be right. lol)

lin said...

Ouch. I never have any accidents in the kitchen, ahum, never. But I am kind of interested in what you were making for the Tongginator now, recipe please?

a Tonggu Momma said...

Lin, it's an Epicurious recipe. You can find it online here: http://tinyurl.com/5lx29u

It's one of the Tongginator's favorites, and one of the only ways I will serve sausage. You know, because the spinach in the recipe "cancels out" the unhealthiness of the sausage and all of that cheese. *grin*

Marla said...

LOL, that totally looks like something I'd do! I've zested the knuckle of my thumb before and am currently missing part of my thumb nail after an unfortunate tomato-slicing incident. :)

Can't believe you're next! Looking forward to your big announcement!

semiferalmama said...

Am I the only one who remembers the Lee Press On Nails ad from the late 80's? The woman grated her nail into the cheese and seemingly served it anyway. The whole situation was resolved because she could fix her nails quick with a Lee Press On Nail. I guess her guests were too dazzled by her perfect nails to notice the really, really, sharp, chewy chunks-of-nail in the casserole.

Mahmee said...

Hmmm...I know there have been many but the one that always sticks out in my mind was recreated (sort of) in a TV commercial. In short, it involved losing control of a slippery 22 lb turkey and watching it bounce out of the sink and onto my foot and the floor. Oh yes, we still ate it (after a bath). Cuz, where in the heck are you going to find another 22 lb turkey at Noon on Thanksgiving Day when you have an injured foot?
Take good care of that boo-boo.
M.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Ouch! I am going to stick with the canned cheese.

The Source said...

Does burning my finger in boiling oil last night while placing a quesadilla in the pan to fry count? Because...ouch!! Very much so! I screamed and yelled and ice didn't work. I still ended up with a bubble on the end of my finger and it's painful. Needless to say, no one after that got any quesadillas and I didn't have to clean up the kitchen either!

snekcip said...

Let's just say the Popeye brand of canned "spinach" packs a "powerful punch" especially when you open the cupboard and it falls out and KONKS you on the head!!! Still don't care for spinach til this day!

Anonymous said...

I was making a cake for my hubby's b-day and ended up in the ER with a concussion!! How you ask? Well I dropped something on the floor, as I leaned over to pick it up, I bumped into the wall and knocked a brass trivet down. It hit me in the head and nearly knocked me out. The medical personnel in the ER found the story very hard to believe and tried to talk me in to pressing charges against my hubby for spousal abuse. However, the cake was great!!

Congrats on being next!! We have been home just over 3 months with our beautiful 16 month old twin daughters from Jiangxi, China!!

Heather said...

I now have chills going down my spine! OUCH!

Sharie said...

I grated my knuckles once - OUCH.

The Gang's Momma! said...

OUCHIES! I'm sorry, but I have to check - you did get the nail and nailbed remnants out of the food, didn't you? Cuz that's always my concern. I mean, not that it happens to me or anything. Just when I see that it's happened to someone else. Cough, cough. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, and get yourself one of those Pampered Chef hand-crank graters. I don't have any such accidents, I mean I don't KNOW anyone who has similar accidents, since the purchase of that sweet little gadget.

:P

Deb said...

LOL this is sooooo the type of thing I would do. . . and dont get me started on the dangers of using my mandolin to slice onions for french onion soup!

I see The Gang's Momma beat me to the punch with the recommendation that has left fresh grated parmasian on our table, so I'll have to one up her with a link:
http://www.pamperedchef.com/our_products/catalog/product.jsp?productId=157&categoryCode=CE