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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

She's Already Breaking Hearts

As I'm sure y'all already know, Valentine's Day was Monday. I, along with every other yoga-pant-wearing, no-more-little-ones-in-the-nest, stay-at-home mom, attended my child's class Valentine's Day party that afternoon. I even read a special love story to the first graders entitled Roses Are Pink, You're Feet Really Stink. (It's a total classic, I know.)

During the party, I saw the typical sugar-induced bouncing-off-the-walls behavior, as well as periodic giggles and grins when reading cards. I watched children count candy and leave love notes for their teacher. I saw way too many red and pink outfits as well as dozens of bejeweled, construction-paper-covered shoe boxes.

And I watched the Tongginator break two hearts.

Actually, technically *I* broke one heart, but I figure better me than another child. You see, The Behavior Challenge of the class (we'll call him Del Monte), is a total doll, even though he always manages to get in trouble. Anyways, Del Monte has a bit of a crush on the Tongginator. And when he opened up her Valentine card, which she signed "love, the Tongginator," Del Monte made a bee line for me. He asked, "did the Tongginator sign this herself or did you do it for her?" Confused, I told him that she signed it, and felt even more at sea when he began waggling his eyebrows up and down. He practically quivered with glee, y'all. And then I experienced an epiphany: everyone ELSE in the class signed their cards "from" or simply penned their names.

Which means I totally and completely crushed his dreams.

"Umm... Del Monte? The Tongginator signed ALL of her cards 'love, the Tongginator.' She loves you, but she loves everybody, honey." Oh, the utter dejection. The shlumping of the shoulders. The shuffle back to his seat. Poor little guy. But better me than the other children heartlessly pointing out the "love" on their cards, too.

The Tongginator managed to Crush the Dreams of another boy all on her own. Bee asked her if she "liked him liked him." And she told him that she was going to marry him eventually, but that it would have to be a long time from now because she wasn't allowed to date until she was 30. Because her Daddy said so. (And yes, y'all, I realize this is a departure from her typical response. Which is to ignore her Daddy. I can only assume that she was toying with the Bee Man.) That didn't stop Bee from presenting her with a special, only brought one of them to school, Dove milk chocolate rose, signed with "Tongginator + Bee" inside a lopsided heart.

Seriously, y'all.

A chocolate rose. With a "Tongginator + Bee" lopsided heart.

When the Husband found out, he cringed, then whimpered, "find my happy place. Find my happy place. Find my happy place."

It doesn't help that Bee is best friends with Zee. Yes, THAT Zee. From last year. When the Tongginator attended Bee's birthday party this past Saturday, Zee was there. Of course. Talk about AWK-ward. Their moms both laughed at me, and all I could say was "at least she has consistent taste." Because Zee and Bee are both blonde, blue-eyed and obviously have a ton in common personality-wise or they wouldn't be friends.

Help me, Lord. (Seriously.)


Now an Air Force Wife and Mommy!! said...

awww...poor little Del Monte! And yes ya'll are going to have your hands full! Fun times :D

bbmomof2boys said...

I sure hope you took a pictue of that chocolate rose and lopsided heart! Either it will be great to show at their wedding reception or just a fond memory!


LucisMomma said...

So funny! Our DD and a little boy at church (1.5 years older than she) have been planning their wedding for FOUR years. DD is only 6! At least we like his family. :)

lmgnyc said...

What the hey? What's going on in your world? My girl still loves puppies more than boys. What's up with that, I mean, aren't they the same age????

prechrswife said...

What is it with our girls and blonde haired blue eyed boys? MJ always plays with boys more than girls, and usually they are blonde and blue-eyed, although her pre-K BFF/"boyfriend" actually has light brown hair.

Wanda said...

Yes, you may be in need of some serious help. Keep it all fun though doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

My 5-year-old son told me that Emaline, a girl in his class, ios his girlfriend. He said that Ellie used to be his girlfriend, but now she doesn't want to play with him anymore. He said, "She puzzles me."

Aus said...

Too cool - I can loan T-dad a shotgun should he ever feel the need - I always found that cleaning one when the 'boy' made the 'meet the parents' visit was extremely effective! :)

Oh - and a quick follow up to yesterday - Coffee is evidence that God does, in fact, love man!

hugs - aus and co.

sara said...

Breaking hearts and taking names. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll get it all out of her system now!

Anonymous said...

Aww, too cute. She's practicing for later. LOL

Marla said...

Haha, that's adorable!! TD sounds a lot like Derek, there will be a lot of gun cleaning going on in this house in the coming years. :)

Aunt LoLo said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh dear...girl, you've got your work cut out for you. Good luck!!

Wendy said...

Roses are Pink...is one of my all time favorite Valentine's Day books. I read it to my class every year!

Last week Lily informed me that she had to "break up" with a boy in her class who wanted to marry her because he was naughty and she could not be liking any bad boys.

I was torn. Should I be mortified she had someone to break up with in the first place or overjoyed she's already trying to stay clear of bad boys?

Parenting girls is such a blast.

the meaklims said...

A chocolate rose!!!!
Lol! This is great, and oh so adorable.