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Monday, February 7, 2011

The Great Doggy Conspiracy

Well, we stood firm, y'all. We survived the weekend. And yes, there were many, MANY temper tantrums, mostly from the Tongginator. But we survived.

The Husband and I also got caught.

Because the Tongginator is wily, y'all. You see, every once in awhile the Tongginator has lost her most beloved Doggy. Said event typically involves much wailing and gnashing of teeth, plus enough tears to fill the Hoover Dam while the Tongginator, Husband and I run around the house like chickens with our heads cut off, desperately trying to locate my daughter's stuffed best friend.

hugging Doggy, the Tongginator's best friend since she was a toddler

We've only been unable to find him three times.

Once he was in the backseat of the car. Another time he remained behind after we left the Tongginator's godparents' house. Another time we accidentally left him with Tonggu Grammy. All three times Doggy oh-so-magically appeared just in time for bed, despite possibly maybe being over two-hours-away. Because the Husband and I are BRILLIANT. No, we didn't manage to find a lovey who teleports. Nope, y'all, we are just BRILLIANT.

And oh-so-humble, too.

Until Saturday, that is.

Because on Friday night, we could NOT find Doggy anywhere. I may possibly have even fallen UP the stairs in my quest to find him, so great was my desperation. The Tongginator circled around and around, like a lost soul, becoming increasingly hysterical with each rotation. The Husband finally gave up, "finding" Doggy upstairs and calming our pint-sized hysteric just in time for bed. This scenario always makes us nervous because of the Getting Caught Potential, but we took the risk because of the day we'd had.

She seemed unusually smug, I must say.

We didn't realize why until Saturday morning.

Because, y'all, the Tongginator hadn't actually LOST her Doggy. She'd secretly HIDDEN him. Because she suspected a conspiracy of epic proportion. Because she's a Smart And Observant Almost-Seven-Year-Old, y'all. And - despite our best efforts - the many Doggy doppelgangers do not look Absolutely Identical.

Which means our Tongginator? Totally smelled a Fake.

She plotted and planned, waited for the perfect opportunity, and wound us up like two unsuspecting Keystone Cops. She sobbed piteously and acted grief-stricken for more than 30 minutes, all the while knowing her Doggy hid safely underneath the cushion of our green chair.

She's a stinker.

A smart stinker, but a stinker none-the-less.

Because the next morning she pulled out the second Doggy and trapped us in our own lies. She confessed to her trickery, then she asked us How This Happened. I, in my infinite wisdom, utilized the ever infallible delaying tactic of, "what do you think happened, Tongginator?" She told me Doggy grew a twin and let it go for a day.

But Sunday morning, on the way home from church, I caved. I totally caved, y'all. Because the Tongginator asked me again, and when I asked her what she thought happened, she sighed and replied, "Momma, I am asking you for your opinion. Please answer the question." And we were driving home from CHURCH.

So I told her.

And she seems to have forgiven us. She even seems a bit pleased.

Even though we perpetrated The Great Doggy Conspiracy for almost six years.

Six years, y'all.

(I can't believe we didn't get caught sooner.)

(And... shh... she still thinks there are only two.)


Number 6 and no more counting! said...

wow, that is quite the story! I am not quite sure what to think!


Andrea said...

She is too smart! I give you major props for pulling that off for 6 years!!

3cmum said...

You are so smart to have at least 2!

If only I had done that with mine. Unfortunately who knows which animal they will take to.

We live in fear of loosing the 9 year old's giraffe!

Aus said...

Our oldest - Ben - was that way for a stuffed tiger....it caused much concern in our lives from time to time....and we never found a double for it. He was our first born - and we learned....and for every other child - we made sure there were dupes of the 'thing' - whatever it might be! They were - from time to time - a life saver!

But wait - 'stinker' is maybe too mild of a word....she's 7 going on 17 maybe? She may be - in a word - Brilliant! (and if you didn't notice - she "owns" you!)

So what about the 'note'? Or is that best kept 'personal'?

hugs - aus and co.

bbmomof2boys said...

Littel T has a doll she named "SheShe". This is the first doll she received her first Christmas home. She LOVES this doll and throws a fit just like your girl. Our problem...we don't have a second one (or third, fourth). Ya, we are dummies!


Tonggu Grammy said...

And I am oh, so pleased that I gave you the final doggy from deep in my dresser drawer just before you left to go home last month. I think WE are brilliant for pulling it off for so long. And she is most definitely brilliant for figuring out how to trap you, especially on this specific weekend when she desperately needed some leverage.

Kristi said...

Oh my goodness. You guys make me think of my friend Cindy who has four "gullas" (a pink minky dot blanket) for their daughter.
But I'm now thinking that your Togginator is most amazing for coming up with her plan. Reminds me of myself the year that I first heard the "Santa isn't real rumors at school." I told my mom and dad that I wanted a microscope from Santa and told the mall Santa that I wanted a bike. What I got for Christmas spoke volumes ~ and totally crushed me, but I didn't tell...

LucisMomma said...

That is so smart!

thewonderfulhappens said...

that is hysterical! You totally got caught!

sara said...

Man is she a smarty pants!

Sherri said...

Hahahahaha! That is so funny!

But seriously, it's perfect that you ended up confessing because she knew the truth anyway. "just answer the question...."

Anonymous said...

My sister tried something like this with our newphew. Our DD has ONE blanket that she loves with the passion of 1000 suns and thus it is only 1/2 the size it once was because she has worn the fabric out. When nephew started holding onto a particular bear all the time they went out and bought 2 more for "just in case" but then he found the secret stash and they now have to have all 3 bears in bed before he'll go to sleep. EEK


Football and Fried Rice said...

You know the reason she's creative and brilliant is because you've enabled her to be, right?!


autumnesf said...

At our house it was a blanket. One I was given as a baby gift. It became part of the baby's body after bringing her home and I just knew....
So I figured out who sent it and asked where they got it...and it took almost a year to find because it was 6 months later... but I ran across 5 new ones on an end cap clearance and bought all of them. The secret is to wash them weekly so they don't build up a certain smell to give them away.

And that stinker!!! She totally set you up. Are you ready for the teenage years? I'm telling you, tag team dobermans -- they keep the boys out and tell one her when she tries to sneak out. Perfect.

Dani said...

Oh, my!! My eldest has a puppy too. We've only really lost him once. I gave up the gig 6 months ago when she started to be able to tell the 2 we still had apart and wanted to know why "Sleepy" always looked different after a bath (aka laundry). So one day, Sleepy's family, including his identical twin sister Sleepy came to live with us. :) thankfully she doesn't carry him around much anymore and thus decreases the risk.

AwesomeCloud and family said...

Wow. I won't even indulge my two-year-old that way. He left his beloved Prius at the cousins' house, and it's still there. He had one temper tantrum and I just looked at him funny until eventually he stopped. I'm such a mean mama.

prechrswife said...

That is too funny. We never did get around to getting a duplicate of Bear Bear, so if he ever gets lost, we'll have a problem. Even if we were able to find a duplicate now, she would know the difference in a heartbeat because the original is so well-loved.

E said...

My, my, my! What to say?! She's a clever one, that little girl!

autumnesf said...

OK- dont post this but..


Laughing my butt off. No really. Laughing my butt off. And that's a lot of butt.

Spoken like a parent with a child that has not latched on to a transitional object like it was a lifeline.

I WISH it was about indulgence.

Mamatini said...

Wow! You have to get up early in the morning to keep up with her, don't you?

I am surprised that she didn't figure you out earlier. I know we've talked about how our girls 'smell' lovies. Isa and Ina immediately know when something is off: Isa because Floppy smells too clean and Ina because NumNum doesn't smell fresh enough!

Wendy said...

I had a double for my daughter's beloved bear "just in case." He had to fill in when she left the original bear in a cab in Ohio, in a van in Manila (two years ago), and in a hotel in Venice (and this was only last year). In all cases, I was able to get the original bear back--because even lacking a nose, an eye and almost all of his fur? There is no replacing the real thing. And my daughter is 18!

Chinazhoumom said...

That is why Duck Duck stays home- NEVER is allowed out of the house - when we went to China on vacation we took a stand in duck - that was his "cousin" and guess what - she was fine - and double guess what - said duck was forgotten at our last stop Hong Kong - I called the hotel - they fond him - and mailed him back - his new name - Hong Kong Duck!
(could never find another duck duck)

Carol in rainy FL

The Byrd's Nest said...

lol...I agree with Sarah....she is smart like you my friend:) Lottie would be able to smell a duplicate a mile away...this child has the gift of smell, truly!

cw said...

We thought we were so smart- we have MANY duplicates of the lovey blankets each of my crew has (and on an aside note- next time I won't let them choose a blanket that costs $20 each time I have to buy another) We rotated them more or less weekly and it worked great until each child found their "stash". The good news is they accept all of them as equally lovable, the bad news is they insist on taking all 5-7 of them to bed with them (we actually have to keep them hidden)

Suzy said...

I think this story speaks VOLUMES about your love and respect for your daughter. Lydia had rarely attached to a toy, but Christmas Eve 2009 she left her rabbit lovey SOMEWHERE and sobbed, and sobbed, and SOBBED for it. So, I ordered one on Amazon & had it shipped overnight. I could hardly wait for it to come in as nap & bed times were torture! It came in but I had to go somewhere with my son when my husband was putting her down for her nap. He gave it to her thinking he'd be the hero. I got a text saying, "She hugged it and said "Mommy found it!" LOL. Later found the original. She's lost interest in him now, but if she ever finds them BOTH & asks I am totally in the clear. Everyone knows that rabbits multiply.

Briana's Mom said...

Man, do I know what you are talking about with this post! Bri's Pink Baby. And we have no doppelgangers for her. I tried once to switch out Pink Baby but Briana knew it was a fake. When we can't find Pink Baby, the world stops as we know it.

It's funny - I have a post I plan to do soon on Bri taking Pink Baby to school for show and tell.

T is one smart cookie. But you already know that. :D

Patty O. said...

That girl is scary smart! I think you guys may be in for it in the future. I cannot believe she plotted the whole thing AND managed to cry and act so sad all while knowing it was all an act. She could have a future in Hollywood. Or the CIA.

Mahmee said...

Ha ha ha. You guys are in soooo much trouble during the teenage years. Good grief! I was also laughing as I read this post cuz I just published one 10 minutes ago about my daughter's special blanket that is somewhat similiar. Funny.