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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Ditch the Snow

Well, y'all, what sounded "not too bad" at midnight two nights ago sounded Absolutely Terrible at eight o'clock yesterday morning. Which is why - even though fellow Tonggu Momma prechrswife correctly guessed the original song Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! - I opted to ditch it. Because although the first stanza of the original made me grin:

Oh, the weather last year was frightful
and the shoveling just spiteful

when the temperature dropped below

Stop the snow! Stop the Snow! Stop the Snow!

It pretty much went downhill from there.

After much consideration, for my second version I opted to go with one of Dawn's suggestions: Up on the Housetop. Because Dawn? You are brilliant. It's a perfect melody to offset my Very Bad Holiday Poetry. I made a few editing choices in order to maintain anonymity, but you'll get the basic gist. So - without further adieu - and yes, y'all may need to drink something stiff before suffering through this - The Tonggu House Annual Christmas Letter, 2010.

Sung to the tune Up on the Housetop.

Here's the Tonggu Fam, two thousand ten
The year it snowed again and again
Shovel our sidewalks, sweep off the car
Then it would repeat; man, how bizarre
Oh, no, NO! Please stop the snow! Oh, no, NO! Please stop the snow!

Send love at Christmas: hug, hug, hug
At least we were cozy and warm and snug

When it got hot, we all headed south
Because we are smart (man, what a mouth!)
Traveled to Disney in hot August
Our Miss T loved getting pixie dust
Oh, yippee! So much to see! Oh, yippee! So much to see!

Send love at Christmas: kiss, kiss, kiss
Disney at age six is such pure bliss

Hubs transferred to the federal side
Company clients far and wide
But no more driving past DC
We are as happy as we can be
Yes, yes, yes! Commuting less! Yes, yes, yes! Commuting less!

Send love at Christmas: give, give, give
Jesus was born so we could live

TM is puzzled - she said "no way!"
It did not help, to her dismay
Now she's President of a local group
Doesn't make sense, she thinks they've been duped
Oh, no, NO! Run to and fro! Oh, no, NO! Run to and fro!

Send love at Christmas: bake, bake, bake
Now she needs a coffee break

First grade began, then she joined Scouts
Chinese class goes on; ballet is out
The teachers at school call her "jewelry hound"
Her love of bling is truly profound
Yes, yes, yes! Twirl in a dress! Yes, yes, yes! Twirl in a dress!

Send love at Christmas: smile, smile, smile
Our Miss T has her own special style

Williamsburg was a favorite jaunt
Wearing dresses she loved to flaunt
Feeling like an "American Girl"
"Felicity" obsessed and in a whirl
Oh, yippee! History! Oh, yippee! History!

Send love at Christmas: sing, sing, sing
We really hope she learned something

Now our family loves to celebrate
Advent is a time of wait
The birth of Christ, the savior child
Gentle Jesus, meek and mild
Oh, hurray! Jesus' birthday! Oh, hurray! Jesus' birthday!

Send love at Christmas: cheers, cheers, cheers
We wish you all a Happy New Years

(And here's last year's edited letter.)

(Now I'm off to put it in our Christmas Binder.)


Mia_h_n said...

I love it! :) Before I read further down and actually saw the poem I was just thinking that I wish I was on your list - anonymous adaptations included. I would just hate to miss this brilliance :)

bbmomof2boys said...

bravo! bravo!!


Aus said...

Way to go TM - maybe your best work EVER!

hugs - aus and co.

autumnesf said...


I love you more and more all the time.

Football and Fried Rice said...

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! I agree with atumnesf - you can easily make us fall more and more in love......

Briana's Mom said...

Pure genius. :D

Dawn said...

Yippee!!! I guessed it... sort of. Ha!

Really cute song... and you did a great job of covering all the highlights of your year.

Be blessed!

prechrswife said...

Well, I did guess it originally, but I do like the final version. Very well done!

Wanda said...

LOVED IT!!!!!!!!

Robin said...

Wow, I'm impressed! I think you have a little too much time on your hands to be able to come up with that. The people in my life are getting a photo card that says Merry Christmas. And that's only if I can find the time to stand in line at the post office for stamps!

Elizabeth said...

That was fantastic, I wish I had enough creativity to do something like that. It would be even cooler if you sung it and sent a CD to your mailing list :-).

Rebekah said...

So creative!!!
I smiled all the way through it.

LucisMomma said...

Very cute! Well done, TM.


Patty O. said...

Oh, man! That is FANtastic! I love it. I need to get working on our letter. Bil has started it and we have decided to only send it digitally this year, since we are out of printer ink and I just cannot face going to the P.O. right now. Maybe I'll post ours on my blog too, if we ever finish it... I think we ran out of steam after the whole "Twas the Night before an SPD Christmas".

delucchi family said...

Hee hee very good TM, hope you and yours have a lovely Christmas.
God Bless
Love Jules