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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Reeking Floral

Last week the Husband walked into the family room reeking of another woman's perfume. Okay, so, it actually wasn't perfume; it was some type of Bath and Body Works after-shower body spray. And technically it wasn't actually another woman's perfume, not unless you consider our pint-sized six-year-old Tongginator a woman. But oh, my lands, y'all... the Husband REEKED.

You know the kind of reeking I'm a-talking about. I'm speaking of the eye-burning, nose-hair-singeing, asthmatic wheezing, "why do my pet canaries keep dying?" kind of perfume bath.

I asked the Husband what in the name of all that is scented HAPPENED. And he told me that the Tongginator and one of her friends were going crazy in the basement playroom, spraying after-shower body spray around like it was going out of style. All he did was walk through the room and he ended up smelling like contestant number eleven in the Miss Teen USA pageant. (Because the top ten finalists would of course know how much scent is too much.)

Well, my asthmatic self couldn't stand the thought of MORE floral-ness wafting into my kitchen and family room, so I called down to the Tongginator and her buddy One Of The Horde.

: Hey! Tongginator!


: Please stop dousing yourselves with perfume down there, okay? It's starting to smell a little strong. And besides, we haven't asked One Of The Horde's momma if she's even allowed to wear perfume.

TONGGINATOR: Momma, we aren't WEARING it! We aren't even spraying it on ourselves!

: You aren't? Well what in the world are you doing then???

TONGGINATOR: (slightly exasperated, yet still respectful) Momma, we're doing a cooking show. And that's our non-stick cooking spray.

Well alright then.

Wheeze. Cough. Sneeze.

(But yes, I still made them stop. Even though I laughed.)


Number 6 and no more counting! said...



bbmomof2boys said...

Well...you did say she loves watching cooking shows! :)


Aus said...

Oh man - the only time in my life I had a 'cluster headache' was when a kid was doing the same thing in a drug store perfume asile (bless her parents) - the scent hit me and I was in bed for a day and a half - didn't know you could hurt that bad and live....glad ya'll were laughing - but dang I can hear her tone of voice.....:)

hugs - aus and co.

autumnesf said...

Now how many 6 year olds would be that detailed? She's brilliant.

Sharie said...

We've had the same problem here, but it involves apple scented detangler and a stuffed animal hair salon. I literally couldn't go upstairs for a few hours...hack hack

Love how creative Miss T is:)

Laurie said...

A little too much Food Network being shown at your place? HA!!!

Tammie T. said...

Thanks for your very funny post! Great way to start my day!

Annie said...

That darn Food Network:):) Hahaha!

Briana's Mom said...

:-D. That made me giggle.

LucisMomma said...

FoodNetwork better watch out! That is funny, Momma T.

Wanda said...

Yikes...I think I could smell it up here. Too funny!

Cedar said...

This is funny, but I particularly laughed hard at your link to the horde. I want a bigger lollipop, too!

Kim K. said...

That's brilliant.

Aunt LoLo said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh dear. Those smart, creative girls!

Kristi said...

Sounds like you need to find a 'non-aerosol' spray bottle that you can fill with something harmless...

That is too funny!

Colin and Jill Canada said...

Hahaha! Those wild little imaginations! Brilliant!


Suzy said...

Oh! I've got it! Get that canned air stuff that is used to clean your keyboard for her "nonstick cooking spray".

I'm sure you wanted a double helping of whatever she was cooking.

Patty O. said...

I love it!!! What an imagination on that kid!

Mahmee said...

That's an awesome story!

Georgia Peach said...

hahahahaa...wheezing while reading! just the thought of strong fragrance makes me wheeze.