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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A Squirrely Male

Long-time readers know how much I pretend to loathe animals, so y'all can imagine how I felt when I saw this little guy at a local park. I only had my cell phone with me, so I'm not sure if you can clearly see Dear Mister Squirrel, but somehow he got his head stuck in a rounded cup lid, the kind that Starbucks places on iced drinks with lots of whipped cream on top. You know, Absolute Goodness In A Cup.


Unfortunately, some moron abused the privilege of drinking said Absolute Goodness In A Cup by throwing the associated cup lid on the ground where tree rats innocent squirrels scamper and scurry. And of course me - being me - felt the need to try to resolve the problem.

I may not be a Squirrel Whisperer, but I play one on TV at the local park.

And yes, I am aware I looked completely ridiculous. And no, I didn't even come close to helping Dear Mister Squirrel. Mostly because I didn't come close to him at all, despite my best efforts.

I did, however, cause several people a few chuckles, including a local park ranger, who approached me the way one might typically approach a rabid animal. (So maybe I might possibly have looked slightly crazy at the time, but what does he know???) And said local park ranger assured me that Dear Mister Squirrel seemed to like his rather unusual necklace. It seems that our state Department of Natural Resources has spent the past month trying to trap, drug and otherwise outwit Dear Mister Squirrel, all in an attempt to remove the cup lid, and all to no avail.

Local Park Ranger's Theory? The cup lid necklace must have made Dear Mister Squirrel popular with the ladies. And he wasn't about to give it up.

When I heard that rather plausible theory, I decided to leave Dear Mister Squirrel in peace. Because who am I to interfere with his dating life? Especially the dating life of a creature who had such a large deck of cards stacked against him: namely, a squirrely male. With those Wise Thoughts running through my brain (oh, and perhaps the sounds of guffawing coming from strangers all around me, too), I decided at that point to say goodbye to my grand illusion of becoming The Squirrel Whisperer.

Or possibly Doctor Doolittle.

Because I've always thought perhaps I could become Doctor Doolittle if I so wished it, despite my allergies and asthma. Oh yeah, and my general dislike of all things furry. Which might possibly date back to the summer I was 13, when my family first moved to Hawaii, and I spent fifteen minutes petting a stray cat in the courtyard of the Hale Koa Hotel while people stared at me and even walked a wide berth around me. I thought they were all crazy.

Until I discovered that my stray cat? Was actually a mongoose. Which is when I realized that *I* was the crazy one. And perhaps a bit of a moron, too. But at least I still might possibly be a descendant of Doctor Doolittle. Because who else is talented enough to pet a wild mongoose?

Maybe I should head back to that park tomorrow after all...

16 comments:

bbmomof2boys said...

I love animals but don't like squirrels. *shudder* Funny story - camping one year we packed our food supplies in a large tub with a hard plastic top. We went boating and came back and those crazy things chewed right through that top to get to our food! We moved the food inside and I swear, they threw nuts at our camper! Really!! When a nut falls from a tree it might make a small sound but these? They were loud hard pops! We'd go outside and here them chattering...it was like we were in a horror movie!

Hugs,
Carla

Aus said...

I dunno about this 'not and animal lover' stuff - didn't a review a post yesterday about 'the bird'? ;)

hugs - aus and co.

heather said...

you are cracking me up! i'm the same way...wanting to help but not wanting to touch a squirrel for sure...so I can only imagine how you looked! And the mongoose story killed me...why wouldn't anyone have told you??

Patty O. said...

Oh my, this is hysterical! I can't believe that poor squirrel has had that lid stuck on his neck for a month! I can't imagine that would be comfortable.

I love the mongoose story, too.

Tonggu Grammy said...

Heather, because we thought she might be crazy. LOL! FYI, everyone, the mongoose story IS true and I just can't believe the mongoose sat there and let her do it. In her defense, it WAS dusk outside and she was truly engrossed in her book and rather absently petting said creature.

Dawn said...

I have to say I love the way T-Grammy always jumps to your defense. Sort of. LOL

Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Georgia Peach said...

Hee hee...have you ever seen "Happy Feet" with the wise, old penquin who is elevated to the lofty position of community soothesayer because of the (plastic 6-pack holder) talisman he has stuck around his neck. Obviously your squirrel has seen 'Happy Feet' because he KNOWS.

I would have assumed he would be a little hungry by now, but I guess he's figured out how to work around the talisman.

Georgia Peach said...

You did not seriously pet a mongoose...wow, that's amazing. Was this before or after you took that fateful helicopter trip?

Sharie said...

Poor squirrel - I have cut my plastic soda holders apart ever since seeing Happy Feet and now I may never use a plastic cup lid again.
On another note - I had never seen a Mongoose - I just had to Google for a photo and REALLY? They look nothing like a cat...it seems your parents needed to let you out of the house more - and no one told you because they were afraid to approach you while the scary beast was so near - YIKES!

The Gang's Momma! said...

Okay. So. I always thought mongooses were of the aggressive, nasty sort. Like Rikki Tikki Tavi's buds. I mean, he was sweet and nice and all, but his pals? Not so much.

And speaking of Dr. D? My Dr. D is totally on me to get a new blog name for him. Cuz he's not into animals anymore. Unless it's to mock them or chase them barefoot down the street screaming his fool head off.

Just ask the Canadian geese that stop by each spring. Or the baby wood-chuck that freaked out on him Friday night.

Maybe he'll play defense this year and Dr. D can mean that. Dr. of Defense. I'm waiting it out.

Suzy said...

I'm a little jealous. I think the most exotic thing I've ever petted was a baby kangaroo that came to work in a sock. I made the mistake of telling Lydia about it, and she mentions, oh, WEEKLY that she wants to pet a kangaroo. I told her I had to wait 30+ years before I got to pet one, and she may have to wait a while.

Andrea said...

Now that's a wild tale you don't hear every day... a mongoose! Really?! I'll have to look for those next time we're there. I think the most wild thing I've seen in Hawaii is a surfer. ;-)

AwesomeCloud and family said...

I'll see you that mongoose and raise you a Cooper's hawk.

;-D

The Byrd's Nest said...

(hee hee) I can totally see you doing all of this EVEN petting a wild mongoose! I love love love you stories.,..if you like you can come here and be a mouse whisperer because there is one that lives in Lottie & Emma's closet! I am totally freaked out by mice...totally!!! One ran from the girls bedroom and into the living room a couple of weeks ago and Greg shooed him out the front door. Greg said, "Well, there you go honey...he is gone...no more worries"...ha ha....like he was a single mouse with no family or wives???? yea..right! Well, they are still in our closet....we have our new house in Mexico and all I am praying for is...no mice!!!! Well, I am also praying for no ants, termites or cockroaches too:)

Annie said...

I am proud of you TM!!!!! Hehe!!

Football and Fried Rice said...

chuckle, chuckle - snort!! I am surprised you even took the time to take the rascal's picture. And feel sorry for him ;) See? You're more of an animal lover than you thought!!