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Monday, June 14, 2010

Four Years

Forgive me, y'all, but someone made a comment to me yesterday that just... well... it wasn't a good day to hear that comment.

In the past four years, Tonggu House has survived and thrived amid...

several years of Tongginator challenges: physical, nutritional, sensory and attachment
a career change
one major illness, with a three-month hiatus from work
three extended house guests (one friend for six months, one family for six months and another friend for three)
three years battling a long, long, LONG commute
six months plus providing primary childcare for our seriously ill friend Rosie
two deaths within one month: the husband's father and our neighbor/friend Rosie
one cancer scare that thankfully was NOT cancer
an eventful kindergarten year, filled with constant parent volunteering
the Swine Flu, which lasted nearly two months in our house
growing in friendship with a family who faces serious challenges after adopting from Ethiopia

I could go on and on. Which is why it really puzzles me that some continue to judge those of us who remain in the non-special needs line to adopt from China. Since when did it become more spiritual to adopt through the special needs program than to wait on the Lord? I've said it before and I'll say it again: one is not more spiritual than the other. What is spiritual is answering God's call for your life.

For as many people as there are stubbornly remaining in the non-special needs line due to a lack of obedience or fear, there are just as many traveling the special needs route who allowed impatience or entitlement to rule their decisions and actions. Some families are actively disobeying the Lord... some families are obediently answering the Lord's call for their lives. And no one except the Lord and the persons directly involved know where they stand in obedience, regardless of the line in which they stand.

This fact is why it is no person's place to judge who stands in the non-special need line and who opts to adopt through the special needs program. It is hurtful and divisive to question others' very personal decisions as to how they form their families, not to mention judging others' personal faith. And I can say this because the American drive-through, cell phone, DVRing culture encourages now! now! now!, which in turn leads to attitudes of tremendous entitlement. We don't like to wait. We don't feel we should have to wait.

Hmm...

Maybe it's not always about the Lord teaching us to step out in faith and into the world of special needs adoption. Maybe it's sometimes about the Lord teaching us that we don't get to decide when children enter our families. Maybe sometimes the Lord wants to teach us that waiting is about the journey, not the destination. Maybe the Lord wants to teach us, no matter the line He has us standing in.

And maybe the Lord wants to teach us that it's not okay to judge. WE don't get to decide which path is more spiritual. Only God can do that. And it's different for every family.

Our family has been very busy these past four years. God has kept us busy. I know in my heart that God - for whatever reason - wishes for us to remain in the non-special needs line, despite the fact that we've been officially waiting for four years and one day. Maybe it's that the Lord knew we'd be needed in service to others... in ways that would not be possible if we'd brought home another child during this time. Maybe it's that the Lord knew our Tongginator needed a few extra years to grow before becoming an older sister... because He needed more time to heal her little heart before adding another child to our family. Maybe it's that the Lord has Big Plans for the relationships between our family and the others within our future travel group... including the family we traveled with during our first adoption trip, whose daughter also lived in Tonggu County. I don't know.

But you know what? I don't need to know. And neither do you.

That doesn't mean I don't feel the sting of the wait at times. Because I seriously do. It takes a lot of faith to cling to hope during such a long process. I mean, our Tongginator was a ONE-YEAR-OLD when we completed our home study. And now? She's headed to first grade in the fall. Just sit with that for a moment... think about the amount of faith that takes. But I completely agree that it also takes a lot of faith to step into the world of special needs adoption. Both are equally challenging, although for different reasons.

In other words, I'm not saying it takes more faith to stick it out, but I am sure as certain saying it doesn't take less.

It's been two years since I realized what spiritual journey the Lord planned for me during this long wait. Over two years of waiting just to figure out the lesson. Two more years of waiting as I spiritually grew. And y'all know what? I continue to grow in this area. I am oh-so-slowly learning the true meaning of faith: hope without entitlement and patience without anger. I am learning, but I haven't arrived yet. And it's a lesson I would have been unlikely to learn if our family wasn't waiting... and waiting... and waiting in the non-special needs line.

One thing I do know... sometimes blessings arrive - by our standards - a little late. I continue to cling to that, even while I listen to some disparage my personal faith. Because I've learned that God's opinion in all of this is the only one that matters. Everyone should pause and reflect, often, to discover which paths they should be on... because sometimes it changes (and there are many! wonderful! children! waiting in the special needs program)... but sometimes it doesn't. And it hasn't changed for us. Which means we continue to wait... four years and one day today.

So what are y'all waiting for? And, more importantly, what are you learning during your season of waiting?

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

I totally understand, and the funny(odd) thing is that our journey with our non-special needs children by any non-adoptive parent's standards would be classified as special needs. Both of our girls went through a similar path as the tonginator and are fine, but the last 7 years with one and 4 with the other have been the hardest of my life. The eldest still has an eating disorder and the youngest still has sleeping issues.

Yes that's right...they were for sure non-special needs! Pfffft!

Stick to your original thoughts because you know what it takes.

bbmomof2boys said...

So sorry that someone is questioning your decision to stay in the NSN line and even more sorry that someone questioned your faith. Some just don't get it.

Hmmmm....what am I waiting for? Big T to listen to God about another adoption. I'm so at peace about this though - I know God is working on him and I know it will happen in HIS time not mine.

4 years and 1 day. You might be getting a beautiful Christmas present this year...

Hugs,
Carla

Tonggu Grammy said...

You just refer those insensitive, faith judging people to me. I have some words for them.

And me, I'm waiting the same wait that you are waiting. She'll be here in God's time, but just so He knows, I'm ready to travel to China any time.

Keating Mom said...

So sorry there are those judging you and your faith! It is so wrong to judge by some outward thing (which "line" you're in, etc).
Hugs!

Aus said...

Somebody made a 'better than' comment? AAARRRGGGHHH - don't they understand that we are ALL in this together? That's one of the things that the adoptive community seems to understand - and is something that 30 or 40 years ago EVERYBODY understood. Boy - that makes my blood boil....leaves me a little speechless (and that says something eh?) Ya'll just keep on keeping on - there is always a reason that things happen on a schedule different than the one we may have in mind - but that's why it's God plan - not ours - that happens!

hugs - aus and co.

Laurie said...

Every comment I try to make is turning into a novel- ugh! Let me just say that I'm sorry you received negative feedback, but maybe you did just so this post could be written and others could learn. There! That pretty much sums it up! :)

Rhonda said...

I think I've said this to you in a previous email, but if not...people suck. Especially judgy mcjudgerson people.

Rhonda said...

Oh yeah, and your mom rocks. :)

Stefanie said...

Oh girl. I can just imagine how that made you feel. But you are SO right.... this isn't about watching and judging what others are doing... we have to do what He wants us to do DESPITE what others might say.
You hang tight, He is smiling on you for your patience and endurance and obedience during these trying years, waiting on a mei mei!! And how BLESSED you are and will be for waiting on HIS timing instead of your own (or even worse, the timing of others!) :)
WISE, WISE words, my friend!!! I am so blessed by the way you share your heart and your walk with Him!!

Elizabeth@Romans8:15 said...

We had a 9-month holdup over some fingerprints while we were doing our homestudy. It felt so pointless and ridiculous, but I remember praying and just knowing there was a reason. I do think we needed that time as a family of 3 together. I think my older son needed the time with "just us". We ended up traveling a few weeks after our older son's 3rd birthday to get his brother who is only 6 months younger than him. I have told myself since then that God knew I would have lost my mind with two 2-year olds! There is always a reason and we can speculate but we will never really know for sure....not on this Earth.

If you are where God wants you to be, then I couldn't be more happy for you or proud of you! But I do hope your season of waiting is coming to a close...

happygeek said...

It's amazing how easy it is for me to impose my beliefs and experiences on others. It then makes it VERY easy to judge them without knowing everything.

So, maybe your commenter was just as dumb as I can be. That doesn't make the sting of what she said any less, it just might explain where she was coming from.
Maybe.

Claudia said...

I think that 'hope without entitlement' sums it up perfectly. That's got to be one of the hardest things in the world to learn, ever.

Briana's Mom said...

Judgement. Yep - I've seen a lot of it in the last week or so. I'm still trying to figure out why people feel they need to push their beliefs or agenda on other people. I'm just living my life - my way and on my terms. I try to leave others alone, unless they need or ask for help or advice, so why can't others do the same?

I wrote a post last week on having my say. I only did it because of a ton of judgment I had been seeing festering out in blogland. I was not personally attacked, but I had been reading lots of grumblings about infertile people being selfish and/or being told that adopted kids and parents can't really feel a certain way about each other. I am part of both the infertility and adoption communities, so it isn't always pleasant to read. In adopting, I did what I felt was best to grow my family and the best way to love a child. And it is what I felt led to do.

I have to admit, my faith was very shaken during the wait for Briana. And for me, it really took being on the "other side of the wait" to understand why I had to wait so long. I get it know. And my faith is much stronger now because I do understand what having patience can do in your life.

If you feel in your heart that you are where you need to be right now in your path, even if it stings, then no one has any right to tell you that you need to be somewhere else. You are exactly where you need to be.

Number 6 and no more counting! said...

OUTSTANDING post! Just what I needed on this Monday morning. Somehow, I feel reassured and stronger.

Happy Monday my friend.

Lea
xo

Robin said...

Well, I had to wait almost 5 years for my husband to be ready to adopt. And now looking back, that was a good thing. Now that we've decided to adopt from foster care we'll soon be 'waiting' for a match. I've had people ask (judge) why we don't do foster care first and adopt that way because then we'd have a child a lot quicker (and that's what they are doing). Well, that's not what God has called us to do. Not everyone's calling is the same.

Colin and Jill Canada said...

I'm not sure what makes other people feel they have the right to judge, NEVER MIND actually ask you that question.

Only *you and your hubby* know what calling the Lord has requested of you and your family. That's your business. And thank God He gives us signs and shows us the way. He is a wonderful God.

Jill

Debra said...

OMGoodness, how dare anyone judge. I'm with Aus, aren't we all in this together. Shame on those who judge or feel mightier than others for a chosen path. NO ONE WAY IS THE RIGHT WAY! NO ONE WAY IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER!
Hang in there TM, shake off the bad karma cooties, and keep on keeping on! :)

AwesomeCloud and family said...

I don't know what the tone of the comment were - it sounds as if it might have been unnecessarily harsh. But sometimes I get the urge to give the same advice, albeit more gently, to people who are struggling with long waits in the NSN list. That is largely due to our own excellent experience - we waited negative two months (I mean, we were matched two months before we and our dossier were ready) and we now have the most delightful kid on the planet. Surgery was almost a breeze, as surgeries go. But not every child is like Cloud, and not every family wants a child like Cloud, and the general concept of special needs is scary. My husband went "Ack" when I said "Let's do it!" I try to understand. I can't be you, but you can't be me, either.

In fact, when we got our referral, a couple of the other families on the SN list bristled. "I've been waiting seven months!" one waiting mom growled.

Wait times. They turn normal people crazy.

In the end, I choose not to give out the advice to switch. NSN families are already starting to clog up the SN list, and I don't want that wait to get too long.

By the way, your comment about why families switch to the SN list is a bit... um... off. Impatience? Entitlement? Disobeying the Lord? Really? Isn't that a bit judgmental too? Everyone gets impatient when it's a child they're waiting for. Kudos to you for holding fast to your decision, but there's nothing wrong with the other decision, not even when other people make it. It's true that you shouldn't be pressured or guilt-tripped into changing your outlook or your approach. But it's the guilt-tripping that's wrong, not the choice itself.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Oh, that wasn't my intent at all! Let me clarify... I don't believe that every family who goes the special needs route - or who switches to the special needs route - is feeling entitled, or impatient or disobedient. I said that some are doing that, just as some who stand fast in the NSN line are also disobeying because of fear or their own desires.

What we can't do is assume that we know their hearts because of the line they are standing in. It's always much more complex than we know. Sometimes it takes time, and increased knowledge, to feel comfortable with the idea of a special needs adoption. Sometimes families are right where they need to be from the beginning. And sometimes they are right where they are supposed to be, and then they are supposed to be somewhere different. We can't know. It's not our place to know. Which is why we should not judge.

Many do that. They really do. I am not the only one waiting in the NSN line who feels this way. I'm just one of the few who will say it publicly.

Patricia/NYC said...

1 word:

BRAVO!!!!!

Sarah said...

Amen, lady. (I could say so much more, but that pretty much sums it up.)

Chelsea Gour said...

It takes all kinds of parents, those willing and called to take SN and those willing and called to wait for NSN, to find homes for all the children that need them. And still they won't all go home. It also takes special people to answer the call of fostering, medical missions, construction missions, feeding the poor.....and the list goes on. If I question someone who is feeding the poor and they then question their calling to do so, who will answer that call? You are right where you know you belong....as hard as it is. And let's face it, there is no such thing as NSN adoption anyway.

What are we waiting on? Right now, the money to send our documents on to the next stage. And, we know that God will move that mountain when he's good and ready....even if it's hard to wait.

Debby said...

This comment isn't for Tonga MOM but those who think all should adopt special needs or that that route is quicker. One surgery won't correct things that may come down the road.Everyone has the right to a child without special needs. Kudos to those that choose special needs children. I know my situation is different than others as I have three biological children and one special needs adopted child. We adopted him because he needed a home not because we needed a child. We have been through Hell and back with this child. He is now 24 and although lving on his own always, always in close contact. It has been hard, I mean hard. You never expect this when they are so little and so cute. So don't judge others.
Adopting a special needs child effects your entire life and those of your other famaily members. I love this boy but wish I would have known. I was warned, trust me. I'm not sorry we adopted him but can't say I would do it again.
((((HUGS))))) to all that adopt.

Holly said...

Wow TM. This is obviously a sensitive subject. My FIRST reaction when I began reading was ANGER. I mean, someone seriously suggested you should switch to SN because that is the more noble thing to do? Oy! We are all a bit arrogant in some ways..okay, maybe I should just speak for myself. Sure, I think we all tend to think we are doing the right thing...duh, that's why we do it...but surely we can all see that what is right for ME may not be right for YOU in regards to adoption. Sometimes I have moments of panic about our future daughter's SNs. And the only thing that calms me is knowing that it was GOD who opened our hearts and eyes and prepared us.
You could have jumped ship long ago, been to China and back a few times...but if you did...you would have missed THE ONE that God has created knowing that she would need a second chance at a family...and HE CHOSE YOU.
Hold fast girl. Keep following HIS leading.
We will all be judged with the measure of judgement we use on others. OUCH.

Mei Ling said...

I'm not saying it'd be easy... but the wait used to be, what, 1-2 years to adopt from China?

The regular wait was increased to 4-5 years recently, wasn't it?

Summer said...

So sorry you had to defend your decision to someone who felt like they could tell you how to live your life. One more of those insensitive comments we adoptive families have had to deal with too many times.

My family has adopted two children, the oldest from Vietnam who was considered healthy and the youngest from Korea who was considered a waiting child. Our older son has had far more difficult needs to deal with than the younger including sensory deprivation, malnutrition and attachment issues that are common in orphanages. Our younger son was considered special needs due to complications at birth. He has had no further problems since then. He bonded and attached to us quickly, was well nourished and had great sensory stimulation from his foster family.

Sorry for the novel, my point being, any child can have special needs especially internationally adopted children. Anyone who knows anything about adoption knows that and anyone who doesn't should just stop giving opinions about things they know very little about.

Don't let them get you down. Best wishes to your family that you will find your child very soon.

Anonymous said...

Well, said TM. I am not an adoptive parent, I'm not even a parent, but your blog has let me see things in adoption that I never would have seen before. Thank you so much, I'll be praying :)
God bless!

Christina said...

You are great with words. I'm sorry you felt you had to justify yourself to someone who is being so judgmental. Sad.

Suzy said...

Like bbmomof2boys, I'm waiting on my husband to hear God's call again. I can't understand why God told me 3 years ago but hasn't made it plain to my DH. I don't have to understand it, though, because I'm not God & some things are just going to be beyond my understanding. I think I'm learning patience and faith while I wait.

Jenn said...

Thanks for sticking up for what God's plan's are! We are waiting on a non-special needs baby and we recently declined a special needs baby... It was, um, interesting, to say the least. Three years ago before we got our youngest, I would have jumped at the opportunity to adopt ANY child, special needs or not.. We actually did try to adopt a Meth addicted baby, but it fell through... Now, I know adoption. I do home studies for families that long to adopt. I get the process, the emotions, and the judgments. I know that if God is not calling you to a specific child, then there is NO reason to adopt that child, no matter what. If God's call is not clear, then by going outside of His plan, you open yourself, and the child, up to all kinds of things that may not have had to happen. Our loving Father knows what each of us can handle, and he has a perfect plan for all of us... and sometimes we have to wait much longer than we thought we should have to :)

Kristi said...

TM,
A huge hug to you and your family. How is it that you so often address a topic that is on my mind. I need to (find time first and then) write you a long email. So know that it is coming (someday). But in short no one can suggest to anyone else how they should be forming a family be it biological, fertility treatments, domestic adoption, international adoption, or special needs. God speaks to hearts. And when we sit back and respond to His calling, we are blessed.
I pray your blessing will come "just in time!"
Hugs,
Kristi

ps ~ And I'm so planning on working a coffee with you into our next trip to visit my father-in-law!

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

(((hugs))) I think you're absolutely right and it goes back to all those same cliches: don't judge until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes, you never know what someone else is going through, etc. I've been including you guys in my prayers that you'd get that referral soon, but we both know God has a plan, a wonderful, perfect plan that we don't get. . .yet. I think you're completely right about the feelings of entitlement. I told you I felt that way myself. We want something and we want it NOW. That whole waiting thing is way more faith than most of us want to have when it gets to the "hot spots" of life. Hang in there. Like I said, I've been praying, and I know others have too. You know God has a plan. Be faithful and see His will come to fruition. and of course, I'm ending with more (((hugs))) even though I'm not much of a hugger in real life. . . : )

Mei Mei s and Mayhem said...

So sorry someone had to judge you with their comment.

Your post was very well said!! Thanks for saying all that you said. It all happens in Gods timing!!

Logical Libby said...

It isn't about taking any child. It's about building a family.

I have a degree in special education. So, I knew that I was not capable to take care of a special needs child. Doe that mean I wouldn't care for my daugther if special needs arose? No. But, I knew I couldn't start at that place. I admire the people who can do that. Just like I admire people who run marathons. But I will never be either one.

K and/or K said...

Waiting (LID 9/07) on China has taught me so many lessons and opened my eyes to so many things I would have never seen had our referral come in the then expected 16 mo. time frame. This has been a blessing to us in so many ways, especially now that we are given the chance to adopt concurrently. God is leading us on this crazy journey of major life lessons and I am thankful that I have been given the grace to take the ride with Him. This may sound strange, but sometimes I think people around us are more impatient than me. Wait, I know they are. I have a spirit of contentment with how things are I guess! Thanks for the great post!

Debbie said...

Wouldn't the world be such a better place if we could all just work on improving ourselves and let go of our judgment of others? I, for one, have far too much I need to work on to go around questioning you!
I can imagine some of the pain of the wait having been infertile for years and on two adoption lists. My heart goes out to you.

Chris and Julie said...

I'm a new reader, but thank you for sharing this today. While no one has ever said anything hurtful regarding our decision to wait for NSN I always feel like they are wondering/judging why we haven't made the switch yet. As far as I can tell my entire LID group has moved to the SN line! But you are right, it is only between you and God where you have been called. On 2 separate occasions we felt lead to pray about changing to SN, only to have those prayers answered in ways much different than we expected....a domestic adoption and a surprise pregnancy. God has called us to wait for now, and so glad he did. I wouldn't have the babies I have now without the NSN wait!
Julie

Elaine said...

You really are a wise woman. I don't think I've commented before, but have SO appreciated your posts. The one about Love bounces around my brain every day while I parent my girls. Our family is not waiting for another member, but I remember well the struggle that waiting - 2 years for each - for our girls was. And the lessons I learned. I think of those of you waiting all this time and pray for hope. You said it so nicely - hope without entitlement and patience without anger. Would that we all could know such things. Thanks for sharing.

k said...

Even without God in the equation- I am sorry, but adoption is tough enough as it is- as I said in one post, we adopt a history, a past... we adopt the grief, the loss, along with all the "good" stuff- it's HUGE. So, even without God in the equation, I think we know our limitations as well. It would be foolish for everyone to opt to bring home a child with medical needs or who is alternatively abled if that person wasn't as fully prepared to do so- had felt that urging in their own heart, had subsequently done the research- extensively, at that.

I waited a total of 5 years for my referral, counting that 1st failed adoption. I took my time even the 2nd time around, having inquired about the waiting child program early on, and then sitting on it for over a year before making the decision.

I will never understand people who pass judgment period.

k said...

should have read "as fully ready as possible".. cuz hell, you're never really ready for parenthood period!

Annie said...

Oh TM! I am so sorry. It is ALL in His good timing and only He knows exactly when and why. It is a personal decision between you and God and nobody else!

I can tell you that we wait right now. We wait to be able to get out of the debt we have incured due to hubby's unemployment. We wait to be able to afford our next child who we feel is waiting for us in China!!! It hurts terribly somedays and it is very scary somedays but I am learining to let go of my worry and impatience and give it all to Him!!!

Great post!!

Heather of the EO said...

Well said. Really well said. I'm sorry people say insensitive and judgmental things.

You are truly an inspiration, not that you're looking for praise, but I just mean it.

Kristi said...

We feel it is necessary for our current and future daughters' sakes to sit tight in the NSN line with a LID of 7/22/2009 (yep, not a typo, 2009!). ....And, get this, I am NOT worried about the wait at all (curious, yes!!, RQ stalker, oh yeah, but worried no!!), because I have faith that if this is meant to be, it will happen in God's timing. In the meantime, I'm enjoying life with our precious daughter.
Thanks for this post!

Michal said...

First, may I please have Tonggu Granny on my side?
Secondly, I have always said that just because I am an adoptive parent, that doesn't mean I have to save the world. I have to make decisions that will work for me, my husband, my daughter, the child coming into our lives.....
Sure I think it's great when folks go the SN route but if they don't? Well, they know what will work for them.
I also personally feel that the difference between SN and NSN is in paper work only because no matter what their little physical bodies are like, all the children that I have known of that come from a life of abandonment and institutional life, they all come with a broken heart. And you know what? Ev's broken heart was the single biggest hurdle that we have faced as parents.
My mother just said to me the other day " I admire people who adopt more than one child. After watching what you and Les have gone through with Ev's emotions and knowing that you are willingly going back for more of the same? That's wonderful."
Adding a child to your family is tough, no matter what. Bio, adoption, SN, NSN- please: It's all hard and it's all wonderful. It's all a gamble wrapped in guarantees. It's heart break smothered in love.

I have seen this attitude of "SN parents are better than anyone" before and it baffles me everytime.

Chandra said...

Wow, you have been through alot in four years, TM! Only you and 'The Husband' know what path you are meant to be on. No one else's business.
I often wonder why people on different paths can't just be happy for and helpful to each other. Especially people of Faith.

Hang in there!

Erica said...

It's easy to pass judgment. You are judged for not adopting in the US, you are judgef for adopting in this country and not that country and yes, you are judged for adopting SN vs NSN. Let's face it, every child adopted has a special need especially if adopted internationally. My NSN child was seriously ill, nearly septic by the time we arrived home. He was on steroids, antibiotics and had several surgeries, etc during my nonpaid FMLA. Not special needs, eh? What about the emotional issues and injured spirits our children carry from their abandonment/relinquishment. Still not special needs?

Sometimes people just know. Whether they choose or God chooses the special needs or the NSN route. No explanations needed.

Hang in there.

Raina said...

Remember, my friend - you don't owe an explanation to anyone. You know who you are accountable to. Everyone else can suck an egg.

3 Peanuts said...

I love this. You speak your mind so eloquently. I do sometimes feel judged but others that we did not adopt SN. Isn't that CRAZY?! My first two children had/have special needs, so I felt like if I had a choice, I wanted a healthy child the third time around. In fact, Will has another surgery next week.

God calls us all to entirely different things in life. I don't believe everyone is called to adopt but I know there are some people out there who think everyone should adopt and adopt and adopt. You are so wise. His timing is perfect. And I know it is hard too.

Truly Blessed said...

It still astounds me that people feel they can judge another family's route -- number of children, sex of children, number of adoptions, SN or NSN -- I just don't get it!

You're so right for listening to God's voice in your adoption. Yes, maybe moving into the SN program may be "faster" but it may not be the "right" thing for your family. That's between you and God alone.

Your new child will come to you when the time is right and you will be ecstatic once she/he is!

It won't be long now!!!

TB

Patty O. said...

Amen, sister! You are totally and completely right. No one should impose their views on others. And no one should presume to know what God wants you to do. That is between you, your husband and the Lord.

For what it's worth, I really admire your faith and patience. It amazes me the grace you have shown during all these trials, and especially during this wait!

Anonymous said...

I am sorry that happened to you. No one knows, except God, about where He has us, we do have to learn lessons alone the way. I have been waiting over 6 six years now on something from the Lord - not sure why I am waiting, but, I know I am not waiting alone. Hang on to your faith and continue to share Jesus with all of us.
God Bless you on this journey called life.

Tracie said...

As a mother of three by adoption (S Korea, S Korea and China), I am with you! God has a journey for each of us, and it is not ours to reason why, but only to do or die ;) LOL I have given up on trying to know the why behind things. He knows where our kids are and he leads us by our hearts to them! Our family is embarking on the US foster journey now. YIKES! Now that's a special kind of scary!!