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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My Sick Days Numbered

I don't know what it is about this year, y'all, but I have been sick more than healthy these past nine months. Now... maybe I'm paranoid... but I think it might have something to do with kindergarten. Forget that I actually used to TEACH kindergarten. I've never before been this sick this often. It's gotta be Ms. Confetti's Cesspool of Kindergarten Cooties.

(Although my doctor seems to think it's that my pathetic asthmatic self never really recovered from the swine flu.)

(But what does he know?)

Anyways, I try not to whine on my blog. Because - really - who likes to listen to a whiner? However, seeing as how I have been sick since April 27 (yes, y'all, I said APRIL TWENTY-SEVENTH), I figure I can whine just a bit. If you don't agree *cough, hack, cough, cough* I understand... just stop back in sometime early next week. I darn well better be healthy by then.

Because my sick days are numbered.

14 ..... boxes of tissues
13 ..... nights sleeping on the couch, so as not to keep the entire family awake for all hours with my hacking
3 ....... holidays partially missed (Mother's Day, my nephew's tenth birthday and a neighborhood party for Cinco de Mayo)
6 ....... times my pathetic self had to drive to the bus stop because I seriously couldn't manage the two block walk
17 ..... nebulizer treatments
100 ... cups of tea (seriously, y'all, the Husband bought two packages of 50 tea bags and they are gone, gone, GONE)
20 ..... necessary naps
6 ....... late payments of bills because I was too sick to deal with them and the husband was just trying to survive each day, what with work and dinner and the bedtime routine and laundry and dishes and all manner of other things
8 ....... doses of cough syrup with Codeine (oh! look! there are purple zebras floating in
my kitchen!)
12 ..... the number of pounds I've dropped these past two weeks, so no, it hasn't been all bad
2 ....... bombs that have exploded in my house (okay, not really, but it sure looks like it)
16 ..... war movies I've watched these past two weeks while vegetating on the couch (except that number rises to 25 if you count each episode of Band of Brothers individually)
532 ... times I've whined to the husband, bless his heart

I continue to improve every day, but - really, y'all - I am just plain sick of being sick. And no, I wasn't allowed to take any antibiotics. Because - supposedly - this was a rather nasty 10-13 day virus made more complicated by my asthma.


Unfortunately, I am unable to harass my doctor because I actually DO know three people who had this same thing. For 10-13 days. So yeah... it's a virus, not an infection.

Harrumph again.

Today, however, marks Day 14. I refuse to drink another cup of tea. I refuse to sleep on the couch again tonight. And I've definitely watched enough war movies to last me a couple of months. I wouldn't mind an extra dose of that cough medicine with Codeine, though.

Because those purple zebras were kinda cool.


Buckeroomama said...

Aw, that's awful! I hope you feel better soon.

bbmomof2boys said...

If those purple zebras have pink polka dots then we have bigger problems!! ;)

Oh man - you have been sick an awful lot this year and its only May! (sorry for the reminder) I hope you feel much better soon. Maybe I need to take my laptop on the road and come take care of ya!


Kelley said...

So sorry that you've been sick, but hon, you can whine with style. I just love to read your writing!!

Could be kindergarten cooties, but most likely you've still got your resistance from all of your days out on the front lines. :)

Kristi said...

Hoping today is "the magic feeling better day!"
And war movies when you are feeling sick? That's when I usually hit up the chick flicks pretty hard. Never considered war movies. Maybe I will next time...

Aus said...

Sorry you feel so lousy - Marie has it too - and dang if I don't think I'm gettin it....hope there are good war movies on the tele if I get sick! (Love war movies - and BoB is a world class epic!! - I knew there was some reason I liked you!!)

Serously - take the time you need to feel better - it will save time in the long run...and purple zebras like blue carrots....

hugs - aus and co.

Laura Lee said...

lol... at least we can laugh about it right?? feel better soon!

prechrswife said...

Could be kindergarten cooties. Every time I have started work in a new school, the whole school cooties thing seem to start over fresh. Feel better soon!

Jboo said...

You poor thing!! That is awful! Maybe your virus went into a secondary infection -- call the doctor, call the nurse, call the lady with the alligator purse!! Tee hee -- I crack myself up! But really, hope you feel better soon! Think I was sick like that the first year Maddy was home catching every little thing she had. Get well now, the nice weather is coming and you don't want to miss it!


Myrnie said...

Get well soon! Being sick is NO FUN :(

Tricia said...

Feel better soon.

Mama King said...

Hope you recover soon before those purple zebras take over the house and start trying on your clothes.

Laurie said...

I am so sorry to hear you've been suffering for so long. That lingering cough issue is definitely the WORST! It's exhausting!! At this point in my life, however, I just might endure it all for a loss of 12 pounds! :)

Sharie said...

That is some serious CRUD! I have to say, did you get a bed pan - cause if I was sick and drank that much tea I would need one - cause there is no way I'd be able to get up as often as I'd need to use the restroom:)

M3 said...

Ugh, just horrible. Ok, sending really good wishes that Day 14 kicks ass! :-)

Mike and Barb said...

Oh, I like that someone else has boarded the "Swine-flu-conspiracy-train". Seriously, all my kids have been sicker than ever this winter, and it all started with the swine flu getting them in the fall. Except, up here in the frozen north, Spring is still far away, so I don't even have the hope that THAT could help :-))
Get better soon!

Briana's Mom said...

You poor thing. I'm so sorry you are so sick. You sound miserable. I can soooo sympathize. I don't really remember the month of March between the ear infection, strep throat, pink eye and the bad cold. Ugh. I hope you feel much, much better soon. I need to get me some of that Codeine stuff. ;)

Janet said...

Oh, ugh. Want me to send you some chicken noodle soup through the mail?

Christina said...

Awh that is terrible! I hope you feel better soon!

Denise said...

As a former Kindergarten teacher myself, I can totally understand! Feel better soon...ugh~

Cavatica said...

I hope you feel MUCH better soon, with or without the whine.

Stefanie said...

14 days?!?! I hope you informed your sick self that your sick days are UP! Feel better SOON :)

Sarah said...

When you've been sick for that long (because I've been there). Codeine is so your friend. It took me 3 attempts to make it through the Virgin Suicides, but that's O.K.

Debby said...

I didn't realize that you have been so sick. That's a long time. I hope it's over soon. You must be worn out. ((((HUGS))))

Annie said...

Do what my hubby does. Go to bed for about 3 days and when you wake up - you will be good to go!! hehe! Seriously though, I really hope you feel better very soon!!!

Mahmee said...

Well, yes...I have followed your illness chronicles and I feel for ya. That swine flu...it's nothing to mess around with. I know someone who died from it, I'm sorry to say. Take care of yourself and get those purple zebras something to eat so they'll stick around a while. Purple zebras are cool however you look at it.

Patty O. said...

Oh no! I so hope you get better soon. It totally stinks to be sick, especially in the Spring, I think. Get better!

Football & Fried Rice said...

At the end of the #s, I felt like singing.."And a partridge in a pear tree.."

Not that this is a funny time.

I'd have to agree with others that it is your Little Tongginator bringing home the bugs. I hate to break it to you like this :)

And I SURE hope you get to feeling better SOON!!!

Dita said...

I CANNOT believe you are sick again (or STILL sick!)....you pooooooorrrrr baby!

Confetti Cooties...oy, the worst kind! Purple Zebras.....are you sure its not from a lingering Dead Show somewhere back in time?

Feel better, TM!