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Thursday, May 20, 2010
I remember cracking up at a post Sue wrote a couple of years ago entitled The Life Cycle of a Blog. Seriously, y'all, I'm chuckling right now just thinking about it. We bloggers are really a whacked group of people. (And no, of course I am totally not talking about You. I am talking about those Other People. You know the ones I mean. People like *cough, cough* me.) Still, Sue's post didn't quite fit me at the time. Because we China-adoption bloggers are probably even more whacked out than the average blogger. And here's why...
Life Cycle of a China Adoption Blog
Of course I did.
Life Cycle of a China Adoption Blog
- Paperchase to adopt from China while trolling China Adopt Talk, but don't actually one-click over to read the Rumor Queen's blog because - really - reading blogs is for crazy people.
- Log-in to the China line, probably in 2006, but maybe possibly in 2007 before the rules changed.
- Continue to troll China Adoption Talk and possibly APC and your agency forum for at least six months and possibly years.
- Slowly come to realize that these sites just recycle through the same old stories, questions and answers again and again... and again.
- Admit that you will go crazy during this hideous wait if you don't do something new and different.
- Begin reading the Rumor Queen's blog. Because maybe reading blogs isn't all that crazy after all.
- Decide to start your own blog, albeit on a much smaller scale than the Rumor Queen.
- Write a few self-conscious posts.
- Receive absolutely no comments.
- Start reading a few others' blogs.
- Tentatively comment on others' blogs, but of course you can't just comment on ANYONE'S blog. (They'll totally think you are crazy.) Instead seek out blogs written by people with your same log-in month, or one near to it, or perhaps those using your same agency. But that's it. Because otherwise people will think you are crazy.
- Receive a few comments in return.
- Start becoming addicted to comments.
- Realize this addiction is crazy because you don't even KNOW these people, for goodness sake.
- Begin connecting with these bloggers you don't know because they are going just as psycho from the wait, The Wait, THE WAIT.
- Realize that your addiction to comments is no longer crazy because These People are your FRIENDS, for goodness' sake, and no one else in your town/ city/ state understands because they have never adopted from China. Or they HAVE adopted from China, but they keep telling you to stop complaining about the wait because they adopted during SARS and had to wait over 18 months.
- Complain about the SARS people on your blog.
- Receive LOTS of comments.
- Write posts on your monthly log-in date anniversary to mark the time. Maybe you even do something cute with ducks or a bracelet. Or maybe you will be totally lame like me and just whine! whine! whine! through each of those posts.
- Read more blogs and make more friends.
- Discover Thinking Adoption blogs like those written by Dawn, Heather and Malinda. Feel completely intimidated. Run away screaming. Because you? Are just not that smart.
- Read even more blogs and make even more friends.
- Return to the Thinking Adoption blogs - against your better judgment - because, duh, they really made you think. Continue to feel completely intimidated.
- Watch friends travel to China to adopt their children.
- Watch friends stop blogging or go private within a couple of months of traveling to China to adopt their children.
- Make new friends.
- Actually exchange phone numbers with a few of these new friends. Maybe even possibly meet a couple of them face-to-face.
- Continue to write inane posts while secretly reading the totally intimidating Thinking Adoption blogs.
- Stop posting about your monthly log-in date anniversary because - really - it's just too depressing. And it's getting boring after over two years of it.
- Watch your new friends travel to China to adopt their children.
- Watch your new friends stop blogging or go private within a couple of months of traveling to China to adopt their children.
- Watch those friends who remain morph into photography bloggers. Since you know nothing about photography WHATSOEVER, continue to lurk on their blogs, but rarely comment. Because how many times can one person type out "love this photo!" even when you DO love the photos, but you know! absolutely! nothing! about any of the technical aspects?
- Realize you just don't have the emotional energy to make even newer friends because it hurts too much when they drop off the face of the earth and/or start ignoring you.
- Watch comments almost completely fade away. Going... going... gone.
- Wonder if your old friends who used to comment still read your blog or if they've moved on because you offended them or something.
- Stop crying and get over
- Decide to go out on a limb and write a few Thinking Adoption posts.
- Receive lots of comments.
- Watch traffic go up, Up, UP.
- Also receive hate emails.
- Decide that you really aren't that smart or you would have known to avoid writing the Thinking Adoption posts.
- Try to return to the funny route, but feel completely scarred by the hate emails.
- Write posts that aren't actually funny.
- Watch comments go DOWN, Down, down.
- Assume that no one likes you anymore because you aren't funny.
- Wonder if you should wait to stop blogging exactly 5.3 months after you arrive home from China, like pretty much everyone else, or if you should just stop blogging now.
- Remember that blogging supposedly helps keep you from going CRAZY during the wait, so maybe you should continue doing it.
- Consider the possibility that you are ALREADY crazy, but then decide you don't have enough information to say one way or the other.
- Sit down to attempt yet another funny post that will probably fall flat.
- Write this post instead.
- The End.
Of course I did.