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Friday, April 9, 2010

Things I Feel Guilty About

I feel terribly, horribly guilty that I laughed at your varied, yet ALL equally disgusting refrigerator science experiments. Mostly because I felt bad that you had to deal with them. It kinda feels like I'm laughing at the misfortunes of others. (And if y'all didn't read the comments from yesterday's post, you might want to consider it. The beta fish story is especially worth it.)

I also recently doubled over with laughter when I learned that the Tongginator's Great Aunt P was in a car accident this winter.

(I know! I'm a horrible person!)

(But you will be, too, in a minute.)

I know y'all know that Maryland was hit with excessive amounts of snow this year, mostly because I whined on and on (and on) about it for at least a month. We received over 75 inches of the dreaded white powder in less than two months. What you may not know is that western Maryland, where my Aunt P lives, survived close to 200 inches of snow this winter. And - because it's the mid-Atlantic - snow comes with ice... lots and lots of ice. So a couple of months ago, my Great Aunt P was driving on one of the many back country roads near her house when she skidded along a patch of ice. And - unfortunately - she hit something.

And when she told me what she hit, I about busted a gut laughing.

Can you guess what it was?

(I'll wait for a minute so that you actually make the effort to guess.)

(Still waiting.)

*crickets chirping*

(Did you guess yet?)

Y'all, my Aunt P had the misfortune of hitting something that... well... I have never before known anyone who has hit such a thing. There are so many puns that I could throw at you right now, but I just can't seem to force myself to type out the words. Yep, I just can't go there. Because y'all?

She hit a port-a-potty.

Oh yes, she did.

(See! I told you that you'd be a terrible person in a minute, too. But you didn't believe me, did you? You must trust Tonggu Momma. That's all I'm saying.)

Let's see... what else do I feel horribly guilty about? Hmm... we visited a different church a little over a year ago. We attended exactly two Sunday services, yet somehow we ended up on their email list. And the pastor? Sends out between three and ten emails a day. And I can't seem to figure out how to request to be removed from the email list. I mean, what do I say? "We don't attend your church. Please leave us alone." Umm... yeah... no. So instead? I have all of the pastor's emails sent to my spam folder.

Oh yes, I do.

And I won't make the obvious, yet sacrilegious comment about where I shall live in the afterlife as a result of said Email Filter.

Hmm... what else do I feel guilty about? Oh, yeah! I'm guest-posting over at Soliloquy's place today. And I forgot until just! this! second! Y'all may not know Soliloquy... but we met on-line over two years ago. With summer of 2006 log-in dates, we couldn't help but connect.

She Just Had to Say It

And I adore her. Because she is a Christian momma with a wicked sense of humor. She dares to go where I never could. Because She Just Had To Say It. (And there is that little matter of her most embarrassing moment, which - you'll be surprised to learn - beats my most embarrassing moment, hands down. Which is one of the many reasons I adore her. I'm just saying...)


Aus said...

Well - that took a chunk out of my morning - but hey - I'll give her an Oscar for the most embarrassing moment - that ones a real topper - her mother....wow....all you can do is deal with it! Nice guest post too - well done!

Car accidents - OK - I've been a cop for a lllooonnnggg time - long enough for our department to experiment with the AMC Eagle as a possible all wheel drive patrol car....With the prototype my partner (who retired an assistant Chief but must remain nameless because he is now a Chief in a nearby department) decided that maybe he should try this AWD thing out in a construction area that would someday become I-71....and managed to get the back bumper hung up on one chunk of pavement with the front bumper hung up on another - all 4 wheels off the ground....tough one to explain to the Chief....glad it wasn't me - and I still laugh about how "The Eagle has landed"....

hugs - aus and co.

prechrswife said...

Yes, I'll admit it. The Port-a-Potty thing is funny. Would you believe there is a Port-a-Potty business down here called "Knight John Boy"? I crack up every time I see one of their signs.

Desiree' said...

hmmm, I think her story has yours beat hands down. LOL

As for the port o potty, well I would have busted a gut laughing to!!

Debby said...

I hope no one was in the port a potty. Hah. My kids use to call them pot a lots.
Thanks for making me laugh. I have to get a tooth pulled in a couple of hours and not feeling very happy but you made me laugh.

Patty O. said...

That port a potty totally cracked me up. I have to admit, I couldn't think what she possibly could've hit that would make me laugh. But laugh I did!

I am like you in that I feel guilty for lots of stuff. But you made me laugh this fine morning, so that should assuage at least some of your guilt, no?

Special K said...

Hey.. I commented on Soliloquy's blog but not sure you'll see it.

Is she a Junie, too?

Wanda said...

I always leave here with at least a smile, sometimes food for thought, often laughing my head off and occationally even have to change my undies.

So, thanks for all of the above!

Jboo said...

OH no -- your poor Great Auntie -- that's so sad -- but so funny too.

Have a good weekend!


P.S. I once blocked one of my SIL's because she sent me the most annoying emails all the time! Bad me!

Annie said...

OK, that most embarrassing moment was just hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing:):)

Janet said...

You mean someone had a more embarrassing moment than you flashing your babysitter? Well, now, THAT would be worth reading. He he he.....

Denise said...

Ok, I just started out morning with both of those embarassing moments and I am peeing in my pants...I have to say that I think she gets the prize. I am so glad to be back in bloggy world.

Laura L. said...

Wow, oh wow. What a story that was at She Just Had to Say It. Pretty sure that tops anything embarrassing I've ever experienced.
I have to admit that we have a certain family member who has her own "special folder" in my inbox. I only read her e-mails occasionally. Most are just forwards.

Carissa said...

Oh my gosh I am so a terrible person, I actually laughed out loud at the story about your Aunt! I am a terrible person....

Misty said...

when my hubby and i attended a church for about 3 mo we were miserable. the teaching? awful. aw-full. so we stopped. but teh emails didn't. we'd get invites to things, and the monthly update, etc. so yeah. one day in a pregnancy induced tantrum, i wrote QUIT! and he WROTE ME BACK. yes, he wanted to know why we left and how he could improve things. i almost felt bad. almost. and i lied. i said we just needed to move on. filter hell indeed.