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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Amazing World of Curling

As I sat in front of the television last night, watching amazing athletes perform fantastic feats I could never want... er.... I meant HOPE to accomplish, I am definitely feeling what my girlfriends are calling this month's Accumulation of Inches. And - for once - they aren't talking snow. No, y'all, they are referring to the growing girths of our hips, thighs and tummies. Because we all pretty much ate our way through the past two weeks.

Which is kinda ironic considering we could barely get out to the grocery stores.

Y'all, I snuck cookies for breakfast. I drank copious amounts of coffee and Tonggu Grammy's hot cocoa. And I ended my two-week snowbound splurge with a slice of cheesecake with strawberry topping from the infamous factory last night. Oh yes, I did. Which means I am now sitting here, watching figure skaters glide across the ice, while my tummy done laps over my belt.

I should feel embarrassed about all of this (especially since I am - ahem - sipping a hot cocoa filled with marshmallows as I type), but I don't. Not at all... probably because I feel even MORE embarrassed about the husband's recent Facebook status update. Y'all, he outed himself, in a huge way. And this is what he wrote:
a secret ... i'm a closet curling fan .... i know, i know, is it really even a sport? and for primarily this reason, the winter olympics are my favorite. the 'sport' appeals to my inner geek: mass, speed, direction, friction, angles, geometry. and now i have another reason ... the pants ... http://tinyurl.com/y986m9e
Well, y'all, I don't know whether curling should be labeled a sport or a game, but I DO know that - whatever it is - it's BORING. And we are being tortured with it every! single! night! this week. In my oh-so-humble opinion, curling basically looks like shuffleboard on ice. And I think we can all agree that shuffleboard is just a game. The problem with curling, however, is that the participants don't wear polyester pantsuits bedecked with sequins, so this causes curling to fall into the netherworld between game and sport.

You know, like rhythmic gymnastics.

Frankly, I can think of better uses of their time. I mean, if those people want to sweep so badly, send them to my house. My kitchen floor could use a good cleaning. And I think those rocks... er... stones... er... whatever... just might possibly do some damage to the ice block that sits in our front yard. I mean, if Canadian Olympic curler Kristie Moore wants a good workout, she could always enroll in a Lamaze class. I've heard those are pretty exhausting.

And that she's gonna need it.

This week, while suffering through HOURS of viewing torture, I figured out why the husband loves curling so much. Y'all, I am a veritable fountain of information now (you feel jealous now, don't you? you know you do). I learned that the Scots invented curling. Well, guess what other sport/ game they invented? Yep, you're correct: golf. Which explains oh-so-much. Did y'all know that the husband is the ONLY male in his family to NOT work in the golfing industry?

And yes... they ALL wear Those Pants.

(Okay... so... maybe not THOSE pants, but ones just as bad, as evidenced by my cousin's comment to the husband's Facebook status update: "wow, they look like golfers... wait... isn't that you're other sport?")

19 comments:

happygeek said...

CURLING!
I grew up with it. It is my dad's FAVORITE sport. Not only to watch, but to do. So, I can actually explain the game to people. Told ya I was a geek.
He is now passing the LOVE of the game onto my kids (because it totally skipped a generation) and they practically jump up and down any time it is on.
The geek doesn't fall far from the tree.

Elouise82 said...

I've always made snide comments about curling, but lately became convicted of my hypocrisy in this area, since the sport I get passionate about is figure skating ... which isn't exactly the most athletic-appearing of sports (although I defy anyone to attempt the tricks these people do, and THEN call them sissies. Trust me. I took lessons for most of my life. It's HARD.). So now I am actually trying to take an interest in curling.

It's not working yet.

But hey, maybe if I tell myself it's training for the Olympics, I could actually get excited about sweeping my kitchen!

Dawn said...

So, everyone finally back to school???

My BFF lives in NoVa and she said her kids are about to climb the walls... and they're teens! They've still not been back full time yet as they've had 2 hour delays and early releases. I'm afraid they'll be in school 'til July 4th.

Jboo said...

Shuffleboard on ice -- that's exactly what I said too and must agree -- snoozefest!! Feeling your pain, but heading for the Hershey kisses! :) Have a great Wednesday!

Janet

Logical Libby said...

If a person can fall and spectacularly hurt themselves, it should not be considered an Olympic sport.

Glad your life is finally starting to thaw!

pickel said...

Oh my lands. I love those pants. And, I think that eric might just love curing because of the physics.

shelley said...

Love curling. Such a misunderstood sport.

Nicole said...

Curling is the worst. My dad: huge fan, also a curler in his day. His dad: huge fan, curled up until a couple of years ago, when he was 92. I FREAKING HATE CURLING. It's not the sport so much as the HURRY HARD HURRRRRRYYYYYYYYY SWEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP HAAAARRRRRDDDDD WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Sharie said...

YAWN! That's what I think of Golf - and curling:)
They have to wear those loud pants to keep their fans awake.

Super Mommy said...

Hahaha - I never knew Curling existed! LOL...shows ya how much I don't know! It does look like a weird sport (sweeping). I have enjoyed the skating and skiing, as have my girls...and that's about it.

Maybe you and Tongginator can practice some sycronized floor exercises (sweeping, mopping) while the Olympics are on to help trim your waist? Just a thought!

Mamatini said...

I used to feel the same way about curling until I became friends with a champion curler in college. She was KICK@** (sorry, she was!) Beauty, brains, grace, strength, and athleticism. I was a little in awe of her. It might have even been a bit of a girl crush.

So while I still don't really 'get it', I give curling its due respect as a sport, because if the likes of this chick play it, then well, 'go curling!'

Oh, and as for the geek thing: I am a geek, and I know one when I see one. This chick? Not a geek.

Aunt LoLo said...

Heh...I feel so UNpatriotic, but we haven't watched ANY of the Olympics this year. We have, however, caught up on our taped episodes of Project Runway and American Idol. Heh.

Cavatica said...

I'm sorry.

Jean said...

Okay- I just have to say this "I love you!" you make me laugh... in my home... while I am looking at the computer! Everybody else in the family is wondering what I am laughing about! What a day maker!

I am sorry about the curling and your husband! My hubby loves golf and I am a bit Scottish BUT have NONE of the qualities it takes to be Scottish! Daddy gave them all to my brother- praise the Lord!

The Source said...

I can't say anything negative about curling since my daughter had to move on from throwing humans into the air (cheerleading) to throwing a little ball across a line (shot put). I don't get it.

CHEESECAKE FACTORY? SERIOUSLY?? That's so unfair of you! First you steal all the snow, then you eat MY cheesecake??

epin said...

What a coincidence. Just before I read your post, I wrote on my FB that I cannot understand why curling is an Olympic (or any other kind of) sport. :-)

Michelle said...

I took the girls to Chinese class today and came home to find Nolan and Leila glued to the tv, watching curling. We had to leave for a CNY event where Leila and Kara WERE PERFORMING and I could barely drag them away from the tv. Seriously, my husband got my 8-year old addicted to curling. I'm with you on this subject. I just don't get this sport.

Tracy said...

Well, having viewed curling from both sides of the rink-my folks were both curlers and some of my earliest memories are sitting in the clubhouse coloring through the ENDLESS matches. Later I was on my high school team but never went on with it. Let's just say it's a WHOLE lot more fun to play than watch. As for me...definite geekoid tendencies but far from full blown geek.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Shelley and Tracy ~ My husband now adores you. You are his new favorite people. Just please promise me you don't wear Those Pants.