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Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Pajama Ultimatum

or perhaps The Pajama Supremacy... or The Pajama Identity... actually, any of the Bourne titles would work, I think

The day started out like any other. Well, by "started out" I mean that the first 75 minutes of yesterday began normally... unfortunately, things rapidly skidded downhill the minute we headed out our door for the bus stop. I should have seen it coming, but when you are a train barreling along at 100 mph, that minuscule dot in the distance doesn't look all that dangerous. It's only about 30 seconds before the crash that you realize "oh, crud."

And, as we walked out the door at 8:37 AM, I didn't even see the minuscule dot. In fact, what minuscule dot could there possibly be? The Tongginator and I skipped (okay, okay, WALKED) along, hand in hand, down our driveway and past three houses before I actually noticed that darn dot, in the form of two little gals. These two little first graders from our block walked just ahead of us, sporting flannels with kittens and princesses.

Odd wardrobe choices, I thought, but who am I to judge?

The Tongginator noticed said flannels, too. Because she has an eagle eye for All Things Princess. So she asked them. And they turned to her, in surprise, saying - in unison, mind you - "it's Pajama Day today!" Pajama Day... and with those dreaded words, the minuscule dot grew about three feet higher. At that point, I still thought it was a class event or, barring that, a first grade thing. Only it wasn't...

Because as we rounded the bend to the bus stop, I squinted just enough through my need! new! glasses! to notice fifteen elementary school students hanging around, all wearing heavy winter coats and flannel bottoms that threw up either an animal, comic book star, Dora, a Disney princess or some form of sports equipment. Yep, they, too donned nightwear for the now infamous PAJAMA DAY.

The Tongginator's lip quivered. The tears welled. And I felt totally! helpless! because the bus was coming around the bend. So I made an offer that any insane parent would make. I told the Tongginator that I would meet her at the school, holding the all-important pajamas, just as she came off the bus.

How I thought that was possible? I do not know. But the cloud cover hovering in the Tongginator's eyes cleared up and she bravely bit her quivering lip.

Then she hiked herself up into the bellows of the bus. And I stood waving, smiling broadly, as all the other mommas waved to their children and talked about what a moron I was. Okay... so... maybe they didn't really talk about my moronic-ness, but they did chat about how their children would not have let them get down the driveway without going back to change and how they wrote down "PAJAMA DAY"on their calendars using all caps and black Sharpies.

Blah blah blah. Whatever.

My One True Friend at the bus stop (sniff, sniff) grabbed me just as the bus pulled away and dragged me to her car, which was parked nearby. "Come on! I was headed to the gym. I'll swing by and drop you off at your house. It will save you some time." And yes, y'all, this is the same Momma who did this with me once before. (Have I told y'all how much I absolutely adore her?)

Anyways, we sped to my house, whereupon I jumped out of the car and sprinted through our front door. There might possibly have been some vehicular movement during said jump, but I cannot recall. I DO recall that I failed to wave to my One True Friend as I bolted into my house. (Sorry, Dory!) I ran up to the Tongginator's room, looking for pajamas, only to find NONE in her drawer. I sprinted down two flights of stairs to the laundry room to look in the dryer, only to find three pairs of pajamas sitting - soaking wet - in the washer.

(I've been sick, y'all. So sue me.)

And desperate times call for desperate measures.

I ran BACK up two flights of stairs to wade into our Mount Fuji of dirty laundry and fished out two nightgowns. And then I did the smell test. (Oh, yes, I did.) The Tongginator's Christmas nightgown, unfortunately, did NOT pass the test, but thankfully her pink polka dot one managed to eke through. I grabbed it, ran down to the garage, hopped in my car and took off.

Thankfully, I DID remember to open the garage door first.

I sped through the neighborhood, wishing I had a paper bag over my head, because I'm typically the Mom That Glares at all of the psychos speeding down our town streets. When I turned right onto the main road, I almost hyperventilated because the bus? Was NOT in sight. But a second right turn set my heart rate back to normal as I spotted the bus stopped at a traffic light. I managed to pull into the school parking lot just behind the Tongginator.

Thank. Goodness.

I parked the car, ran past three mommas walking with their children, countless moms in their cars doing the school drop-off thing, several teachers and one bus driver. When the Tongginator climbed down the bus steps, there I stood... smiling, with the necessary pink polka dot nightgown in my hands. We walked into the kindergarten entrance together, hand in hand. I waited while she put her backpack, coat and lunchbox away, then we popped into the bathroom to change her out of a totally inappropriate outfit (clothes! who wears clothes to school?!!?!) and into the (cue angels singing) pink polka dot nightgown.

She smiled. I smiled. Even Ms. Confetti smiled when she saw us walk out of the bathroom.

Although Ms. Confetti probably smiled for an entirely different reason. Because, y'all... and I cannot believe I am admitting this... but... unfortunately... I was ALSO wearing pajamas at that moment, a fact which had completely eluded me until I saw Ms. Confetti struggling not to laugh and I looked down at myself. I can only thank God that it is wintertime right now. Because the coat? Covers up a lot.

And of course I didn't miss the irony of it all.

Although thank you for pointing it out.

43 comments:

Kim K. said...

Your post has totally made my morning. Cheers!

Buckeroomama said...

Aw, TM! :)

It happens to the best of us. What counted what that you were able to come through for T!

Desiree' said...

As long as you acted like you meant to do it, I think it could be pulled off!! You were supporting your daughter, wearing pajamas on pajama day!! Right??!!LOL

Sharie said...

Way to GO TM!! Participating and everything:) Oh how I hate pajama day! Last year Amelia's teacher decided at the last minute and failed to communicate it to 1/2 the parents...oh the horror! Amelia still talks about it and since our house is 25 minutes from daycare there was no way she was getting pjs!
This year, again the teachers failed to communicate - ARGH! Even parents who work at the school didn't know, but fortunately I had a business meeting and had to go right past my house and daycare, so Amelia got her pj's. Believe me the teachers felt bad! They even had a 2nd pajama day which was MUCH better communicated and Amelia got to school in her jammies - cause even if you're not the only one who doesn't know, it is STILL your mom's fault!

Elizabeth said...

Hilarious--my boys are only in preschool--we have only had Halloween dress up day and nativity character dress up day so far. I nearly worked myself to the bone turning my oldest into the Christmas star. I don't really understand Pajama Day, but I do celebrate it at my house....a lot.

bbmomof2boys said...

At least you were wearing pjs!!

You need to work some things TM...

Hugs,
Carla

jen@odbt said...

Phew - way too early for all that action. Glad TG got to enjoy pajama day (that is a big deal at our school too). Did you go back to bed? :)

Tonggu Grammy said...

There's only one remedy for starting the day like that. Go back to bed and have some hot chocolate, preferably from Tonggu Grammy's super special mix.

Dawn said...

Oh, my... SSSOOOO been there, done that!

My kids are in middle and high school and I've still been known to throw a coat over jammies, put on sunglasses (to mask that I have NO EYES without makeup) coated my lips with lipstick ('cause that WILL hide the fact that I don't have on any other makeup or that I haven't done my hair!) and zipped out the door on some urgent errand usually involving a trip into the school office.

Oh, yes... I have!

God bless that sweet mama who has befriended you!

Football & Fried Rice said...

Thanks for the LAUGH OUT LOUD this morning. You are one cool Momma!! And Dory is too! THis is definitely one that will going down in the hall of errr... fame.

great one!

Jboo said...

Awwww -- you get the star of the week for coming through for your little girl! Way to go TM!!

Janet

adoptionroad said...

Wow! Just like the movie I did not see that one coming! I would have failed this test since my girl hasn't had clean pajamas for almost a week. Today is indeed laundry day!

Aus said...

Way to go there TM - there ought to be something like a bronze star for actions above and beyond the call of duty there or something! Maybe conspicuous gallantry in the face of the world (or the neighborhood and WHOLE SCHOOL) or something? ;)

hugs - aus and co.

Jill said...

As usual, I knew I could count on you for my morning giggle! Thank you! LOL! :)

You are one awesome momma!

LaLa said...

Well, since Annslee refuses PJs and sleeps in random outfits I guess she would have been dressed for it already : ) Way to go making it to school and in your PJs and all : )

Wanda said...

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! I've done the exact same thing. And more than once. It was bring a toy to school day and I missed it only to watch all the kids entering school (I'm a drop-off mom)with bags....huh....what are they for, I say....OH NO.....as I bolt for my car shouting promises of returning with the aforementioned forgotten item.

Oh...the joys(not) of parenthood. And how times have changed. I can't even imagine anything similar happening when I went to school. (But myabe that's because we certainly never had anything as fun as PJ or bring a toy day.) Hmmmmm......

The Source said...

I hate pajama day! Because my kids? They don't even WEAR pajamas. Well, Darling Daughter does, but the rest? They're guys and "guys don't wear fuzzy pj's." Or so they tell me. So when they were in school and pj day was coming up, I had to go out and buy pajamas. Because they can't go to school in their underpants, now can they??

Patty O. said...

You are such a great writer! I love it: "the bellows of the bus" and "Thankfully, I DID remember to open the garage door first" among other things.

I happen to hate these dress-up days, because there is no way I could convince Danny to wear pjs to school after spending the last couple of years convincing him he CAN'T wear them in public. He just is unable to switch gears like that. But hey, you just gave me an idea for a blog post.

Thanks for the laugh and the idea!

L said...

Thanks for sharing, this made my day. When my oldest daughter was in elementary school I just KNEW PJ was that day. She was not so sure, but because I was still always right she followed along. Well to make a long story short she walked in the door after school proclaiming that it was in fact NOT PJ day! I felt like such a bad momma that day. She graduates this May and it is still one of my favorite school stories.

Holly said...

I do find pajama day in a public setting odd. But you win Mom of the year...or maybe Mom of Pajama Day FOR SURE for your valiant efforts!
Cheers!

autumnesf said...

First: As a mom...get some Febreeze. Then when she was supposed to tell you she had to wear xyz and its dirty...well, its saved many a mom.

Second: This stuff is just too good. You couldn't even make it up!

LucisMomma said...

oh, wow, I needed a laugh. Thank you! This has been a horrible, no good, very bad week...and I don't even want to move to Australia.

I hope you got that hot chocolate from TG's special mix and enjoyed your morning.

Magi said...

That had me in stitches. Sera had a pajama day on the day before Thanksgiving. I then struggled through the next two weeks when she announced every single morning that she was wearing pajamas to school. I think she thought it should be a permanent change.

Love Letters To China said...

Too funny!

Beck said...

Hee hee. You're a good, good mama.

Janet said...

Tee hee. You totally deserved this after not believing that I found my birthday present by accident. Karma, baby. BWAAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAAA!

PS- What were YOUR pajamas like? :-)

PPS- Ms. Confetti must tell all her fellow teachers all about you once they get to the staff room. I bet they have a bulletin board with a list of all the silly things you have done. Not that I'm trying to make you feel bad or anything.....;-)

Kristi said...

Oh my, I laughed so hard out loud that I nearly woke my kids up from their nap. But I've got the infamous "banana butt" story that I really should post one day that rivals your pajama story...
Glad you made it to her in time and that you were elevated to hero status in her eyes!

Jennifer said...

Erin@closingtime sent me--Great post! You made me feel better b/c last year I, too, missed pajama day or "Toastie Toes" day for my preschooler. I drove home to get his pj's last year, but today I was out of luck when I missed "Spirit Day." Because of winter, I didn't notice anyone's shirts this morning. And while I haven't been sick, my kids have. Sleep deprivation is really killing my brain cells! Thanks for the laugh!

Erin @ Closing Time said...

I've always been a fan of the Bourne movies (all of them), and now I'm a fan of the Pajama Ultimatum as well...highly entertaining!! :)

Beach Mama said...

You have officially joined the ranks of all of us other mothers that have performed super-hero feats to keep our children free from humiliation! Welcome to the club!

Nicole said...

At least you were dressed appropriately!

It was PJ day at our school too, and my son was the only one not wearing them. Because he refused to set foot out of the house with PJ's on. Sigh.

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh, Miss TM. I am laughing so hard there are TEARS. Of all the days to wear YOUR PJs to the bus stop. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

mumma to many said...

I love it! I am so glad you were up with the play eventually!
And yse I could image that also I have been known to go and buy said clothes on the way to school too!
Thanks for the giggle and we are all laughing with you!
Hugs Ruth in NZ

Suzy said...

We were separated at birth, I just know it. But after missing one event like this? I'd be the mom likely to send her in pj's a day early next year. Yep, I'm pretty sure that's what would happen to me next year.

Lisa said...

There are SO many things to cherish about this post, not the least of which being that....thank god I'm not the ONLY Mama who has had this moment!

Not that I would wish it on anyone mind you......

:) Our most recent involved Sports Wear Day....yup.....oh & yeah, loads of sports jerseys & hats hanging around my pink/purple kind of gal's closet. Loads. :(

I think everyone needs a one true friend in their life ~ your's is a real gem! Truly!

Hey, at least you didn't need to hit the gym for a workout after all of that!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Super Mom saved the day!! So glad that The Tongginator was able to sport her pink polka dots:)

xo,

Lisa

Life with Kaishon said...

Wow. This is such a great story :) I LOVE that you made it in time! I love that you are usually the mother that glares at the speeders! (Me TOO!) and I LOVE that you were wearing pj's! How great is that! I saw your comment at Our Daily Big top today and I haven't seen you in a zillion years so I came over to say hi : )

Annie said...

Oh my gosh, TM!!!! That was hilarious!!!!! Hopefully it has been long enough that you can now look back on it and laugh!!! LOL!!

Myrnie said...

*giggle* Glad you had a big coat!!

The Gypsy Mama said...

Oh brilliant, applause, laughter and hugs! I LOVED THIS!! It is precisely the kind of parenting moment I expect to stumble into as my boys grow. You were the hero of the hour - what a riot!!

The Byrd's Nest said...

I agree with Gypsy Mama....much applause and hugs! You are one awesome Mommy! And I am most thankful for your devoted friend...what a gal to see you in distress and jump to your aid to get you to the school pronto!

HubeiMama said...

Love it! Makes me feel much better about being the only parents who dressed up for Halloween at Ava's daycare. :)

Zoe said...

Wonderful post :)

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