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Friday, November 6, 2009


My mother-in-law is visiting for a long weekend. I would love to hear some of your best mother-in-law stories to help me through these next few days.

As for the definition of "best?" Well... I'll leave that up to y'all.


OziMum said...

LOL!! I was going to say... if you're looking for "best" as in the "nicest"... you shouldn't come to our family gatherings!!!

Ah, she's not too bad... just a negative whinger, thats all!!! Oh, She also liked to refer to asians, as a very unsavoury word... don't worry, I've smacked that outta her!

Sherri said...

I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I could start with the birth of my first child 22 years ago when she loudly declared that there was something "wrong" with my nipples because hers were *this* long!

Or I could tell the story about how she ran out of room in the refrigerator at Thanksgiving, and kept the uncooked turkey in the garage because it's "cold enough" out there.

Or maybe I should tell the story about how we stopped by ON OUR WAY HOME FROM CHINA with our first adoption and she decided to throw herself a wedding while we were there. Everything you're not supposed to do......

Or how she owns a hotel but won't give her kids a room to stay in when they visit, preferring to put cots in the garage (that's cold enough to keep a turkey in).

Yep, that is a good start.

I hope your weekend with your MIL is a great one!

Buckeroomama said...

Just remember --
1) Without her, you won't have TD.
2) She's one more person to shower love and dote on little T (assuming she's the kind).
3) It's only a weekend. Things could be worse... Really. :)

I wish you a smooth and wonderful weekend.

Kim K. said...

My MIL was so unhappy with our wedding location (it was held the opposite side of state from where she lived) that we ended up having 2 wedding receptions (one on the west side and one on the east side). We were fresh out of graduate school and pretty much broke, but we paid for both of them.

Back then, I was a coward and just wanted to keep peace. 17 years later, I don't play those games.

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Love Letters To China said...

I hope you have a wonderful time with your MIL. I've heard that some women have great relationships with theirs, mine is okay. I can't even pick one story because there are so many swirling in my mind. I'm just glad mine lives on the other side of the country and when she visits she insists on staying at a hotel. ;-)

A Beautiful Mess said...

Sherri....that is pretty crazy....yet it made me laugh:)

Things my mother in-laws says we refer to as "sueisms"

* When looking at the kitchen in our new house.." I just love the wall paper, it is so cheerful and sunny. It isn't you at all Maryellen"

* After 2 of her 3 children had their marriages end in divorce...." they should have been more like you and chris and stayed to themselves and not care what anyone thinks..."

* My Fave...." you don't care if you house is a mess...you would rather read books or play with your kids"

Oh there are tons more..


You'll survive. Just be sure to hide the real estate section of your newspaper!

Desiree' said...

I am gonna take the high road here, just don't stress, breath every now and then and let things roll right off. It's only a weekend. It to shall pass!!

Anonymous said...

My mother always gets a blank look on her face when other women start complaining about their MIL (me included). In her younger years, she got along better with my dad's family than she did her own. (Not that she doesn't get along with them now ... she just has an improved relationship with her own mom. Just to clarify.)

Me? I just grit my teeth and remind myself that it could be worse ... I could have my sister's MIL.

Sarah said...

While I was away at work when my MIL was visiting, she decided to do our laundry... and decided to put away our laundry... and when she got to my underwear drawer she didn't like it that I just throw my underwear in there and don't fold them organize them. SO SHE TOOK OUT ALL OF MY UNDERWEAR AND ORGANIZED THEM BY COLOR.

Tonggu Grammy said...

Love you!

bbmomof2boys said...

I'm also one of the lucky ones and get along great with my MIL. She cracks me up. When we had our first son she came down to visit and tried to help me with breast feeding. Umm...yeah...new mother, new baby, and a MIL grabbing my boob and trying to put it in his mouth! My face was sooooooo red!!

Enjoy her while you can - our parents leave us much too soon.


Aus said...

Ah yes - MIL's - and from a guy point of view here! OK - besides the fact that my MIL (and pretty much all of her other kids) completely disapprove of our adopting ANY of our kids (I could write a book here...), and has advanced degrees in language, is bi (and maybe tri) lingual, is a magician with a sewing machine, thread and fabric, and while she has 'mastered' keeping her thought to herself has decided that she doesn't need to, and learned and did all this while rasing 6 kids (I married #2) and helping her husband run a farm (cattle and grain) and suffer with him serving as a firefighter and eventually Chief)
She has:
Spent hours researching Asian (Korean and Chinese) stories and created embroidered cloth books for the girls (yes - the adopted ones!), made them special (and well loved) bags for carring their dancing gear, hunts for books for all of us from her various outlets (including buying me enough to take with us to China and then 'abandon' for others to find and enjoy), has welcomed our oldest daughter into her home as if she were her own daughter, and goes out of her way to engage me in some kind of an indepth conversation on a shared topic of interest (there are many from football to politics to religion) - sometimes for hours - every time we visit.
The woman is a question wrapped in a mystery cloaked in an enigma!

But she's Mom!

Enjoy your visit, keep the gems and toss the trash!

hugs - aus and co.

Anonymous said...

One time my MIL decided to throw my husband a surprise birthday party, without telling me about it. The day arrived and she called to invite him to lunch on his birthday at Hooters (my husband is so NOT the Hooters kinda guy).

I decided not to go since she said she was going to treat and I didn't want to eat at Hooters anyway. They could just have a nice little mother-son birthday lunch.

He gets there and his whole family is there (brother, SIL, nephews, dad, a couple of cousins). He calls me up and says maybe I should come too.

I get there and said to MIL she should have told me and I'd have been there and she said, "well I didn't think you needed a special reason to have lunch with us."

Oy vey.

Dawn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aunt LoLo said...

Heh...I've been blessed with an INORDINATELY awesome MIL. Unless of course you would like to use your own kitchen. Then, you must take a number and make sure you schedule it well in advance. (But, is that really a complaint? Not for the first two weeks! After that, I get a little twitchy. ;-))

Have fun!!!!

Dawn said...

Well, since I was friends with my MIL before I knew my husband...

And, since she's the one who introduced us through a blind date arranged by her...

I just can't do it.

Not that I don't have the stories, mind you. 'Cause I've got them... boy do I got 'em.

Just remember that without her, you wouldn't have T Daddy!

Hope your weekend goes well!

happygeek said...

YOu need stories eh?
First let me say that I do love my MIL even when she is a pain in the ... (you fill in the blank) but sometimes I really have to remind myself of her good stuff especially when:
-She often doesn't let us know when she is coming until the trip is booked and then, SURPRISE
-so, when we first were married, I had to be away when they were there. I carefully researched stuff for them to do with hubs even went to the convention and visitors centre and when I got home found out they preferred to stay at our house and rearrange all my cupboards ("since you told me to make myself at home, I did. Isn't this better?")
- When told that "no I don't need you to move that chair, or vacuum that area, or change that, or whatever" she waits till I am out of the room and then asks my husband (who is clueless and a bit of a pushover when it comes to mommy) he tells her sure and she does it anyway and then says, well Hubs wanted it that way.
-She digs around in my garbage and rescues things I've thrown out.
- She will clean something for me (without asking) and then show me how she has done it and how I can then keep it cleaner if I do it that way.
- Now that she has re-married she and her husband find my kids too busy and noisy for them to handle and so visit very rarely.
-When they do visit it is as if there is a third parent around as she will help us with correcting the boys and sometimes even makes up new rules.
-She is also paranoid (don't visit national monuments when you are in the states as they are prime targets for terrorists)
- and I will end with my very favorite quote of hers spoken just before last year's presidential election "I don't trust that Obama man, he's a fascist" I gently suggested that he actually might be a bit more of a socialist than anything and that's when she said it "actually he's both. That scary man is a socialist and a fascist"
I still smile when I think about it.
Sorry to high jack your comments, I'd use my own blog but she reads it (and them e-mails me corrections)
Hang in there!!!!!!!!

Chelsea Gour said...

Hey, your's is just visiting for the weekend.....mine, she lives across the street! If I can survive that, you can handle the weekend! And, that's all I'll say about that!

The Source said...

Hmmm...I think I have a pretty good relationship with my MIL. Then again she's practically raised me since I started dating her son at age 15 and we've been together ever since. She's taught me to cook and she would do anything for my kids, plus she listend when I complain about her son. LOL

When we were newlyweds with a tiny baby boy she would stop by our house while we were at work, and clean up! Great, right? Who wouldn't want an MIL who cleans while you're away? Except that she decided to redecorate. She RECOVERED our sofa and chairs one day and put up curtains she had made...and umm...forgot to ask if we wanted her to do any of this. Never mind that we didn't WANT a mauve and lavender floral sofe and non-matching tapestry-type stuff on the chairs. WITH tassels! SURPRISE!

She does willingly come and stay at my house for two weeks every other year when the hubby and I sail in the Caribbean. She takes my kids to school, cooks, cleans, homework, activities, etc. And while she's here...she irons and hangs our sweatpants and underclothes, reorganizes my pantry so that I can't find the food when we come home, and uses steel wool to clean my glass-top stove. Scratched beyond belief. She also house-trained our dog while she was here. Or she says she did. Unfortunately, the dog lost all her new potty knowledge the moment the MIL walked out the door.

Overall, she's a really nice, loving woman, fiercely protective of her family (including me, wow!) and I wouldn't trade her most days! Hang in there and have a sense of humor. It'll be fine.

American Family said...

Oh, you have my sympathies. I just wrote an entire blog post of my MIL's greatest hits.

How someone as great as Mr. A could come from someone so undeniably crazy is one of the great mysteries of the universe.

Here you go: http://american-family.org/2009/11/06/in-laws-greatest-hits/

Briana's Mom said...

Just know I'm thinking of you. I (and my hubby) went for almost two years without talking to my MIL. Things are patched up now but will always be VERY awkward. You'll get through the visit. Hopefully without smacking her. ;)

Kayce said...

My MIL was the one who introduced me to my hubby...she was my boss. Love her BUT when ever she comes over to the house she loves to rearrange things in my house. Never fails, I have to call her up and ask her where she put something. LOL! Enjoy your weekend!

Stacey T. said...

My MIL is 88 years old, when I was dating my husband, she was 77. She doesn't drive. So, being nice, I took her to the store when my husband and I were preparing to get married. The whole car ride she talked about how he had brought home this other girl and how she was so sure that they were going to get married and what a nice girl she was, and on and on and on.....I should have seen what was coming. We live about 2 miles from her and I haven't seen her in almost 3 years.....

prechrswife said...

I actually have a wonderful MIL. The only relatively minor issue is that sometimes she is too "helpful" in the kitchen, and we spend awhile after she leaves trying to find where our dishes have been put away.

Wade's World said...

I could tell you about the time when I was still in the hospital recovering from childbirth and my MIL took it upon herself to "clean" our house, including all the drawers and in the night stand in our bedroom where there may or may not have been some adult friendly objects.

I can only imagine her horror and embarrassment at finding that stuff, probably because it rivaled my horror and embarrassment at her having found that stuff!

Thankfully, she never said a word, and I can imagine it will probably be the last time she ever cleans my house again!

Kiy said...

I love Tonggu Grammy's comment! :)

I am extremely lucky that my MIL thinks the sun rises and sets on me. My husband, however, was not so lucky.

Errr, wait. Hahaha, just kidding.

Actually, I was beyond determined to get along with mine as I grew up with my dad's mom not liking (or approving) of my mom. Now, she thinks my mom is great. Go figure.

Good luck, will think good thoughts for you this weekend. Just remember, bail ain't cheap!


Anonymous said...

My MIL shows people pictures of me when I was young and very thin and says "See F's OLD girlfriend. Wasn't she pretty and thin?"

And once she went on vacation to Colombia and brought me back a t-shirt with a big pink pig on the front and the words "Follow my diet to Cartagena" on the back.

And THAT is all I have to say about THAT!!!!


Football & Fried Rice said...

Oh, Kiy is FUNNY!!! We'll come bail you out, TM!!

My first reaction (& utter shock!) was, apparently the MIL doesn't read the blog!!!! heh.

Remember, she needs to see Jesus through you! And the Tongginator needs to see Jesus through you as you love the unlovable ;)

Think of it as a good character building weekend.

And pray a lot.


Johnny said...

As a comedian said once, there are no bad MIL jokes.

The thing is, my own mother IS the MIL joke. Domineering, Controlling, Back-handed compliments....you get it all with my Mom!

And my MIL, the exact opposite - which is bad in the exact opposite manner.


The best part of the MIL visit? When you're waving buh-bye, buh-bye to them as the car is pulling away.

Stay Strong!

Saint Louis Family Robinson said...

Oooooh TM, what's the matter? Have you run out of reading material?

All that I'm willing to put out for public viewing with regards to this subject is: What works for me. And that is: I set my expectations LOW - and I mean incredibly low as in She'll burn down the house. Then when the worse doesn't happen I'm able to say 'Hey, that wasn't so bad. At least she didn't burn down the house.'

day by day said...

I have enjoyed reading all of these comments. It would take me a few days to answer this request. After all, my MIL LIVES with us. Yep. Nuff said!

She has it all worked out, though. The sun rises and sets on my hubby. No one will ever be good enough for him. So, basically....she just tries to pretend I do not exist. No problem, right? She even goes so far as to ask me to step out of the way when she is taking a "family" picture.

okay...I am done...could write a book....should write a book. lol!

good luck and just be happy it is temporary. ha!


Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

I always get parenting or "being a better wife" books from my mil. I used to be in charge of only drinks at family get-togethers. Then, I blogged about it. Now, I have to cook. . .

Heather of the EO said...

Oh lady...there just isn't enough room in the comment box!!!

Really. Mine has an issue with control, will call over and over and over if we don't answer the phone, etc.

She once tried feeding my four month old a grape. She WOULD NOT listen when everyone in the room freaked out, asking her to stop. She had to have the grape removed from her hand right before mouth-entry.

Actually, I'll stop now...my MIL stories are quite depressing. I try to love her through her mental illness, I'll just leave it at that.

Debbie Downer

Heather of the EO said...

OH! But I was at book club last night where a friend told a story of her MIL bringing a plant to their house so she could go on vacation. She was really proud of the plant, how long she's kept it alive and gave my friend strict instructions on how to take care of it. When my friend went to water it, she took a close look and saw that IT WAS FAKE. The MIL had no idea. Strange....(and hilarious)

Soliloquy said...

Oh lawdy! Well, I have a definite opinion about the Baptist Convention (the in-laws) - but it doesn't COMPARE to the one I hold about my own mother.

There isn't enough alcohol in the world to go there.......

Anonymous said...

Oh My!
The last couple of times she stayed with us, she complained to us AND our other guests about the things we didn't provide for her during her stay.
The husband and I have secretly decided that maybe a hotel would be a good choice for her next time. LOL

Then, there was the time she stayed with us for 11 weeks. 11!

Patty O. said...

I have nothing at all to contribute. My MIL is so wonderful, I am almost embarrassed to admit it. Seriously, she is great: totally supportive, loving and giving. She is really generous. The only problem is that I am pretty insecure around her. I want to impress her and I worry she will someday realize her son could have done better. Course, I worry that Bil will realize that someday too--gotta work on that self-esteem....

Good luck!

Lindy said...

What I have learned from reading these comments is: do not clean or rearrange your married children's things. (I am very organized, so it is possible that I would think I was helping someone by organizing their underwear by color! I am shocked that people just throw things in a drawer.)

Tammy said...

Best mother in law story follows:

Cassi said...

I'll be thinking of you this weekend and hoping for the best.

I'm pretty lucky with my MIL, for the most part. She has her quirks and is very stubborn that her opinion is the only right opinion, but she loves all her DIL's and her grandchildren and lets us know it.

Of course she is also full German and has the temper to go with it. About five years ago, during Easter dinner with all the family she became angry with my FIL, got up from the dinner table, grabbed one of those big blocks of Velveeta cheese (the source of their argument that made her so mad) and hurled it across the table at him.

It was one of the most interesting family dinners we have ever had. LOL!

Annie said...

I actually love my MIL! She went to China with us and was a huge help!! I know I am the exception, however, so good luck!!!

Tammie T. said...

I have to share even though you have enough comments to write a book....
I was in the hospital after giving birth to my daughter. My MIL and FIL were visiting. My husband and two-year-old were also there. My two-year-old took off down the hall. I asked my husband to chase him. My MIL said my husband was tired and I should probably go get him! YES! I just gave birth...why would I be tired? I then took off down the hall to fetch my toddler! When I got back to the room I was told that I probably shouldn't be carrying him since I just gave birth! :) Oh the memories!

Sharie said...

Tammie T. I'd never heard that story! FUNNY! (sisters)

Now - I'm not married and don't have a MIL but I have a mother that drives me up the wall...

My favorite comment EVER!
"I'm so glad you dress Amelia so cute. I was afraid you would dress her like you."

Carla said...

Obviously she doesn't read your blog...like mine does, and then comments to me how I could do my blog better. You know, like this person that goes to church with her does her blog.

Or, the obviously worn clothing (with tags stuffed in the pocket so it's "with tags still") that smells strongly of her perfume that gives me a migraine and isn't my taste and is slightly too big....yeah.

Or the questioning of how I raise the kids when I tell them they MUST eat something with protein or a vegetable while visiting...that eating fresh fruit and candy/cookies for 7 straight days is NOT going to cut it.

If we both try REALLY hard...the visits are good.

Myrnie said...

I have the sweetest MIL, who happens to think her son is just about the best thing out there. Mostly, she's right. And she's visiting until Monday.

Have a great weekend!!

pickel said...

Ah, have I got some stories! Most of them are for private viewing though. But, I think the one that takes the cake is that she fully admits that she can't deal with my special needs son but is just fine with babysitting the other, very cute son. I guess at least she is honest.

jennifer said...

lol...MIL's stories can be quite entertaining! Mine lives about 5 hours away and stay with us when they visit. There are many, many stories, but some of the highlights would be:

-when she was mad I didn't name my first born "Richard", like my husband and BOTH her husbands!!"

-when she brought my boys a hamster without checking with me. I had a 7, 5 and 2 yr old (all boys) and had my hands full. When I got mad, she said she was "sorry she misjudged me".

-when she came to one of the boys' baseball games and started talking bad about some of his teamates and coaches in front of their moms and wives!!

I could go on forever, but I won't. The weekend will be over before you know it!! Mine come in a couple of weeks, so I might need to come back and read all your comments again!!!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Oh this has been interesting reading!! I think Tammie might win....that is so funny!!

My MIL and I get along very well, although she does live almost 6 hours away and we don't get to see each other that often. Maybe the reason we get along so well:)

Hope you survive your visit....and I am looking forward to next week's blog posts:)



Anonymous said...

In my case it's my mother that's the steriotypical interfering MIL. The last time she was here she decided to "lay down the law" with my hubby and tell him when to put our sweet daughter to bed. She chased him around the house telling him to listen to her and punching her fist on the counter because she wasn't being "respected". Now( ayear later) we've seen her once since(she lives 5 hrs away) she asks when can I see you again,as if nothing happpened. HELP!!!

Cindy said...

honestly i laughed out loud at STACEY"S story,acutally had to put my hands over my face!!!

YELP poor stacey it's rough bless her heart,but you made me laugh so hard!!