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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Oh My Lands

Thank you, Lord... less than 12 hours to go. Y'all - and that gorgeous quilt - have seen me through. Before I recap (vaguely, as per the husband's order), I thought I'd share with y'all a little moment in time that happened one afternoon at school last week.

Another parent volunteer shared with me that she stood just near the outside of the girls bathroom when she saw the Tongginator enter the restroom and shut the door. All was quiet for a moment. And then - from inside the bathroom - she heard a rather loud, shocked voice...

TONGGINATOR: Oh. My. Lands. (yes, y'all, she truly IS my daughter with that comment; I am such a dork) OH! MY! LANDS! I'm... I'm... I'M BLEEDING!!!!

The parent volunteer stood, shocked, as she tried to fathom how that (and y'all know what THAT I'm referring to) could be at all possible in a five-year-old. Her mind froze for a second, but then the Tongginator slammed open the door and stood in the entrance to the bathroom, completely visible to ALL within the classroom, with her skirt, tights and yes, even her undergarments, around her ankles.

TONGGINATOR: I need HELP! I'm bleeding!!!!

And that's when the parent volunteer noticed a small (and I do mean minuscule) abrasion on the Tongginator's knee.

Her KNEE, y'all.

This child of mine is darn fortunate that I've always felt tremendous concern about the high risk of early onset puberty in international adoptees. Otherwise she'd be hearing a long Mike Brady style lecture about the importance of modesty and discretion. As it is, I'm just thankful it was a skinned knee. And I'm thankful that Ms. Confetti took care of 90% of the modesty discussion before I even learned what happened.

Now I just wonder how many children in class will remember this story in high school...

37 comments:

Buckeroomama said...

THAT was my first thought, too! Glad it was just a skinned knee. I'm still trying to get the modesty discussion happening with J *sigh*

Love Letters To China said...

Oh my.... my mind definitely went in the same direction. I'm so glad she's okay and it was only her knee. ;-)

Rhonda said...

Glad it was 'only' her knee.

I hate to tell you that, yes, this story will be probably be remembered by the other kids.

When I was in grade three, we used to change for gym in the class (only if you had the gym clothes underneath). Well, one of the kids, S, thought he had his gym clothes underneath (and I'm sure you know where I'm going with this)...

You see, it wouldn't have been as funny had he done it discreetly. No, he stood up on a desk, in the middle of the class and as he took down his jeans and started singing "boom chick-a chick-a"

We just had a mini-reunion a few months ago, and me being the little *$&@ that I am, went up to him and reminded him of the story. He laughed so hard that he ended up spewing his beer.

It doesn't have to be a 'bad' memory for her. ;)

Stefanie said...

Now that WOULD have been early onset, wouldn't it?? ;)
What a funny story to keep things moving right along, eh?
LESS than 12 hours now!

Tonggu Grammy said...

Oh, they'll remember all right! You can't move, though, since you have such a great neighborhood. She'll just have to learn to laugh about it. I KNOW I'm still laughing!!!!!

Just a few more hours

Aus said...

Well - God willing - no one will ever remember that....then again, there are 3 other guys I run with...some 45 years now....and yeah - we met and bonded in 1st grade.

hugs - and laughs some time in the future!

aus and co.

happygeek said...

It's a good thing she did not over-react!

autumnesf said...

Thrilled it wasn't early onset! I live in fear of that also.

Rhonda said...

How many will remember? ALL OF 'EM!! haha! I can see her now!!! I'm curious to go read about that early onset now....???

Dawn said...

Oh! My! Lands! I am laughing so hard!!! (Sorry, I'm known for laughing at all the wrong times.) And, yes... they will remember but hopefully T will see the humor in it, too.

Never a dull day in your world, is it???

Football & Fried Rice said...

Heh. I am sure "The Heathers" will remember this story ;)

But heck with them.

Thankful for the skinned knee!

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh. My. Lands.

I think she summed it up nicely!

(Poor Ms. Confetti...)

The Source said...

Just a really big LOL. Here's my opinion on who will remember: Some of the girls will. The boys? No. Because she didn't wet her pants, blow snot all over someone, vomit, explode or let out a really big toot! The boys don't care so much about anything else at that age.

Dorsey said...

I COMPLETELY understand your near-hysteria!!! My daughter had FULL ON pubic hair at SIX!! I was in shock and rushed her to the endocrinologist. Luckily that "lovely(?)" visitor did not grace our house until this past summer (when she was 12).

Hang in there and just remember to SIP the Mommy cocktails you might sneak after such a shock..it keeps the buzz going longer. LOL

bbmomof2boys said...

wait....early onset huh? That is something I haven't even heard and I research EVERYTHING!

And as you know, modesty is not a word in this house. The other day I was getting her ready for bed and her brother came home. Before I could even grab her she ran out the door naked so she could "shake her butt" to him. Hmmm....now I think we might have a problem here! Hopefully as she gets older some modesty will be instilled in her!

Ms (thought it was Mrs?) Confetti is a true saint - you are lucky to have her. Your T is going to keep you on your toes for a looooong time.


Hugs,
Carla

LaLa said...

OH, toooo funny!!! Hey, she waited for help and no one came...so she had to go to them!

Wade's World said...

Oh my lands! That's pretty funny! She's not dramatic at all is she?

Have a great day!

LucisMomma said...

ROFLOL That "O my lands" is so funny, too,

As for early onset, I'm hoping my menopause kicks in before my DD starts her period. I'm definitely an older mama. :)

Cassi said...

All I can say is - Thanks for the morning laugh. It was amazing and just what I needed!

Leslie said...

awwwwwwwwww that is sooo cute and funny!

Wanda said...

T has to get into the drama class - she's a natural. My Dahlia has similar reactions (well, kinda)to anything that resembles blood anywhere near her. I do alot of eyeball rolling. Ya know, it helps me cope.

Glad it was only her knee. Plenty of time for the other!

Myrnie said...

Oh my lands, and oh my stars....someone get a medic! :)

LucisMomma said...

Hey! My dad flew F-4s, too-- for the air force. I'm an air force brat. :) Small world keeps getting smaller.

Saint Louis Family Robinson said...

I can always count on a good LOL from you! Thanks!

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

WOW!!!! Oh. My. Lands!!!

Jboo said...

Oh my word -- that girl is too much! Of course, my girl has an invisible owwie on her knee last night that kept her from getting to sleep!

Janet

jen@odbt said...

Giggling over here. I love the dramatic flair that is Tongginator. I'm sure the kids have forgotten and moved on. They probably are more concerned over snack/lunch.

Sharie said...

Oh my! I too am worried about early puberty as several girls from Amelia's SWI have experienced it as young as 9, but 9 is A LOT older than 5!!

Amelia also has modesty issues...their class all goes to the restroom in a group - boys and girls. Different stalls- but there is a lot of comparing of who is on their underwear!

Last year she crawled under the stall to inform her friend that he "did too have a penis!" So it could be worse:)

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Oh my....so glad it was just her knee!! I hope you have more than a few years before you need to worry about "that" She is such a funny girl!

Lisa

Annie said...

Too funny!!!! One of my boys came waddling out of the Burger King bathroom with pants around his ankles asking me to check his bottom!!! Picture the touching of toes!!! LOL!!! I promptly shooed him back into the bathroom and had the modesty discussion!!!

Michelle said...

OK, so I can't get past "Oh my lands." Seriously? That alone is hilarious coming from a 5-year old. That's ok, I'm Miss "goodness gracious" over here, so I am joining you in the dork club. LOL.

I can't imagine the thoughts running through the volunteer's mind. Actually, rumor has it that a kindergardner REALLY did start bleeding last year at Leila's school. So glad T just had a skinned knee. Whew!!

Alyson & Ford said...

Thank goodness you have posted about this.... next it goes in the bound book. Then on the coffee table. At age 14, she will not tolerate the words... "When I used to blog about you..".
The story is in print, no worry about having to remember!!

Alyzabeth's Mommy

Holly said...

That is so not okay. MY heart skipped a beat and well...I don't even know ya'll!
Sweet lands....how do you prevent something like THAT from happening? Hmmm!
Thankful for the knee and a calm and level headed Ms. Confetti!

Alece said...

your daughter cracks me the frick up!

Patty O. said...

That is hysterical. Sadly, MY first reaction was hemorrhoids. I guess that just goes to show what's on my mind.....

I love your daughter and her propensity for drama. Reminds me of me and my daughter.

Janet said...

Crisis averted. Poor kid. She'll never live that one down. :-)

LucisMomma said...

Tonggu Momma--my dad was never at Andrews. He retired in Aug 71, when I was 11 years old. It would have been awesome if we'd met somewhere along the way!