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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Knock Me Out Instead

TONGGINATOR: Knock knock.

TONGGU MOMMA: Who's there?


TONGGU MOMMA: Stinky who?

TONGGINATOR: Stinky bottom feet. (uproarious laughter, complete with belly jiggling)


TONGGINATOR: Knock knock.

TONGGU MOMMA: Who's there?


TONGGU MOMMA: Rainbow who?

TONGGINATOR: Rainbow... with lots o' colors. (unending giggles, with possible rolling on the floor)


TONGGINATOR: Knock knock.

TONGGU MOMMA: Who's there?


TONGGU MOMMA: Banana who?

TONGGINATOR: Banana banana banana. (an actual guffaw, followed by a snort)


Welcome to my world right now, y'all. Please help me feel better... tell me the Absolute Worst joke you've ever heard. (But please remember that Tonggu Grammy reads the blog.) And allow me to take a quick break from banging my head against the wall to say thank you.


Cristina said...

Darling son: What's brown and sticky?
Me: What?
Darling son (barely being able to talk through huge snorts of laughter): A stick!!
Ten year old boy humour....

Buckeroomama said...

From my niece who was 5 or 6 at the time:

T: What's red and green and sometimes white or brown or black?
Me: I give up. what?
T: A red and green puppy! Don't you know anything?!

It's the last sentence that killed me.

bbmomof2boys said...

Don't know any silly jokes but I can tell a story! When L was younger, around 5, or 6, we were headed out to some party. He started telling those silly jokes and was laughing so hard at them himself that we were all laughing. Then he would hit his leg and say "I kill myself with these jokes!". I swear, we were all laughing so hard at HIM laughing at his jokes that tears were flowing. I still crack up today remembering it. You might want to hit your head against a wall but stuff like this will make you laugh years down the road.


ShackelMom said...

Kids: Mom, guess what!

Me: What?

Kids: That's what!!!! (uproarious laughter)

Me; Hardiharhar... okay, that's enough!

Joan said...

Knock Knock

Whos there ?


Panther Who?

Panther no pants I'm going swimming.

My daughter has changed the last line to Panther or no panther I'm going swiming with peter pan. LOL

Anonymous said...

Kindergarten humor ... gotta love it. Just wait one more year, when all you have to do is say the word "underwear" and she will dissolve into helpless laughter. My dad has actually done a scientific study of sorts on this--he says every single first-grader he's ever met is physically incapable of NOT laughing at that word. It's some sort of natural law.

Can't think of any terrible jokes at the moment ... my brain is where jokes go to die. They enter, and never leave again.

Rhonda said...

Knock knock
Who's there?

Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana who?

Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana who?

Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Aunt LoLo said...

I got two for you, mama.

1) How do you make a kleenex dance?

A: Put a 'boogie' in it.

2) What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: One says *bang* "Dang!" and other says "Dang!" *bang*

You're welcome. ;-)

jen@odbt said...

Oh yes, we hear knock knock jokes all the time and even better, it usually includes some sort of potty word and gross bodily function.

Briana's Mom said...

Oh my gosh! Briana is all about the silly knock knock jokes right now. Briana's favorite is she says "Boo" and we say "Boo Who" and she breaks into hysterics. Every. Single. Time. Ugh. :)

happygeek said...

One of my boys is at this stage.

They both dissolve in laughter and look at me like I've grown a third head if I don't immediatly laugh my head off too.

Our version is basically you say two words that you've jsut seen so,
knock knock:
Whose there?
Light Who?
Light table
Ah hahahahahaha

Aus said...

Rohnda finished the bannana one - thanks!

knock knock
who's there?
Esta who?
Esta bunny
knock knock
who's there?
Beep beep
Beep beep who?
Car go beep beep and run down Esta bunny.
knock knock
Who's there?
Boo who?
Aww don't cry, Esta bunny be back next year.

(ok - a spring time joke!)

hugs - aus and co.

The Source said...

OK...for the Tonginnator's repertoire:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Andy who?
And he bit me again!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank who?
You're welcome!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dewey who?
Do we have to listen to all this knocking??

And here's a favorite of Quatro's when he was smaller...he literally told this one everywhere we went.

Where do soldiers keep their armies?
In their SLEEVIES!

mama2roo said...

Awww, really ridiculous knock knocks are my favorite--and we've heard plenty of them over the past few months! So fun.

autumnesf said...

I have a husband and then a son. Don't think its a good idea to tell any of their jokes. Thank goodness for girl jokes.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. The knock knock world just came to an end a month ago and boy am I glad! But here's a joke my then 5-year old nephew taught me long ago...

What did the insurance salesman say to Adam & Eve?

I can tell you're not covered.

Ba da ba!

Sharie said...

Must be the age...the knock knock jokes are FLYING around my house too. SO ANNOYING - sorry but after 20...I just can't fake laugh anymore:) Does that make me a horribly mother?

Her take on the old banana - orange knock knock...

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana? Banana who? Apple? Apple who? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana again.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he was flying. (and that's a good one!)

Anonymous said...

What has four wheels and flies?
--a garbage truck

Two buffalo were running across the prairies when one screeched to a halt. The other one said "why did you stop?" The buffalo's response was "I heard a discouraging word." (Sing Home, Home on the Range to yourself if you don't get it.)

malinda said...

Wait 'til T checks out the 1001 Knock Knock Jokes book from the school library. At least they'll be "real" knock knock jokes -- and boy, will you miss the bad ones!

Leslie said...

Yep same here !!!

Here is abbys fave..

Knock knock..
Who's there?
Pooh Who?
Dont Cry Eeore its just me Pooh Bear!!!

too much!

Wanda said...

This is Dahlia's favorite (and I think we're counting into the millions of times she has repeated it........insert "mad" laughter here).

Dahlia: Knock, knock

Mom: Who's there?

Dahlia: Banana

Mom: Banana who?

Dahlia: Knock, knock

Mom: who's there?

Dahlia: Banana

Mom (slightly confused): Banana who?

Dahlia: Knock, knock

Mom: who's there?

Dahlia: Orange

Mom: (very confused): Orange who?

Dahlia: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Mom: no words - just head banging on wall!

Kim said...

Yes, we hear the same silly made up knock knocks that make no sense at all. It' getting harder and harder to laugh at them. However, her current phase is....

Trick or treat, give me something good to eat, if you don't, I don't care I'll pull down your underware. Now insert laughter from the belly.

Guess it doesn't matter that Halloween was two weeks ago.

Sarah said...

I can't tell you half of the bad jokes I use to tell, which I made up myself. Mostly because I don't understand them myself anymore. I think I just liked the stuff I made up just to see other people's reaction, not the joke itself.

Veronica Mitchell said...

Here it is:

Kristi said...

My brother who was four at the time ~ "Knock, knock"
Me ~ "Who's there?
My brother ~ "Uh"
Me ~ "Uh who?"
My brother ~ "Uh, I forgot"
followed by unending laughter...

Mark said...

So funny!! Annslee tells her own jokes all the time and they are usually not funny to me but hillarious to her : )

She takes a real joke..like "why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow...he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate" she will tell it then say other random additions to it LOL

mumma to many said...

What is the difference between Cabbage and Snot?
Kids don't like Cabbage!

Or the knock Knock jokes in our house are
Knock Knock
Whose there?
Knock Knock
I said whose there?
Knock knock with heaps of laughter! ARGH!!!!!!!!
Joke telling is a skill!
Hugs Ruth in NZ

delucchi family said...

My husband is REALLY good at just flowing with really dumb jokes. When him and his brother get together it is so funny to watch as they have been practicing since childhood and both think they are funny. Be proud of yourself you are developing tonginators sense of humour!! Love Jules

Myrnie said...

I've got nothing, but these jokes are sure cute!

Janet said...

Yeah, I'm not even going there. My head has already hit the wall MANY times with these types of jokes. And none make sense. Ever. And NONE are funny, yet the hooligans laugh like maniacs when they tell them.

Okay, I secretly think that their jokes are funny too. But only because they sound so stinking cute when they laugh.

Michelle said...

I remember when Leila went through her "knock, knock" phase. It was horrible!!! The jokes (more like non-jokes) were so bad, but she just laughed hysterically at her creativity. Good luck with this phase! :)

Cindy said...

i remember josh doing the knock knock jokes to me until I was nutty!
It will pass, and I promise Grammy reads the blog!
i love Grammy! I have a friend Tammy and she is Grammy Tammy so I want to be a grammy too!!
the sooner the better!!!

knock knock
you want me to just knock you out of your misery for now! (LOL)


Laura L. said...

Jadyn was in the knock knock joke stage a few months ago, and I swear it lasted a few months. We were all driven half crazy.
It's been rearing it's ugly head again recently.
This morning on Sid the Science Kid, I heard this one. -- Why do chickens sit on their eggs?
Because they don't have chairs!

I thought it was kind of cute actually.

P.S. You are welcome, for my comment about my own car crash. I'm glad it helped. :)

CC said...

I hated this stage when we were living with my niece and she was going through it. Luckily, it never (yet) hit The Flash too hard.... There's nothing I hate more than a joke that doesn't make sense. Okay, that's kinda a lie...

Mahmee said...

Ho boy. This could be one of MY posts for sure. We are in the midst of such zingers as...
Knock, Knock - Who's there:
"apple..in underpants!"
"fuzzy...banana poo-poo!" (oy)
"oranges...are orange!"
Oh yes...I feel your pain!

LucisMomma said...

at least Tongginator ends the knock knock joke! That is a blessing right there. My daughter, 5 years and almost one month old, stops after you say "banana who?" and runs off. Frustrating! I mean, really! Who is banana, anyway?! Identify yourself!

Love Letters To China said...

I see by your comments there are a lot of us momma's out there enduring those lovely jokes from our kiddos. My daughter used to tell us the orange/banana knock knock joke over and over again too. Used to drive me nuts (in a good way of course!).

Anonymous said...

My kids went through stages...they lasted YEARS and YEARS...when they would tell the WORST knock knock jokes. They made no sense. They were not funny. No actual humour was involved in the making of these jokes. They would tell them to each other and their friends for HOURS on end, giggling hysterically and choking with laughter. Finally they grew out of this stage. Now they are teenagers.

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

That is too funny!

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

Now I know!

Charis: Did you look under there?

Me: Under where?

Charis: You said UNDERWEAR!!!!!!

Laughter.......this goes on for hours!

All My Monkeys said...

Oh, I hear the laughter, and the odd silence in my brain as I struggle to figure out why that's so funny to them. Check these out:



Football & Fried Rice said...

Ok. It doesn't get any better. This from my 10 year olds' collection -

Q. What's green & smells like paint?

A. Green Paint


Q. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

A. Because if they flew over the bay, they be bagels.


Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?

A. A Snailor


Q. Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?

A. Cause he might get a hole in one

I think it could go on forever!!

a little leprechaun said...

Keegan does the same jokes!!! He cracks himself up!! And then he will ask us, "Get it?? Pancake. No feet. Get it??" That is from his latest one...

K: Why did the pancake roll across the street?

M: Why?

K: Because he didn't have any feet.

Yeah, I know. Sadly, that is one of the better ones he's come up with!! ;-)