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Monday, September 21, 2009

Ups... and Downs

The Tongginator's second week of kindergarten seemed considerably more difficult than the first. After the excitement wore off... and the reality of "this is my new life" set in... the Tongginator struggled a bit, especially since Daddy often stood in as a Bus Stop Substitute because the swine flu and subsequent asthma complications kicked my tail. We experienced lots of ups and downs last week.

One of the Ups...

TONGGU MOMMA
: So what was the best part of your day, Tongginator?

TONGGINATOR: Seeing you at the bus stop when I got home, Momma.

TONGGU MOMMA
: Aww... that was a nice part of my day, too, Tongginator. (a brief pause) And what was the worst part of your day?

TONGGINATOR: Umm... we didn't get to have our outside playtime. We didn't get to go on the playground because it was raining.

TONGGU MOMMA
: I'm sorry. That's no fun, is it?

TONGGINATOR: Actually, Momma... I changed my mind. That was a bad part of my day, but it wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that I mis-said you.

TONGGU MOMMA
: (gathering her into my arms) Oh, honey, I miss you, too, when you're at school.

TONGGINATOR: I mis-said hearing your heart beat, Momma. And I mis-said the way you smell.

Be still my heart. And yet... not one hour later...

TONGGINATOR: (completely out of the blue) Momma, sometimes I get angry with you.

TONGGU MOMMA: I know. And it's okay to feel angry because sometimes families get mad at one another. We need to be careful that we don't hurt each other when we ARE angry, though. We have to try our best to work things out.

TONGGINATOR: Yeah... only sometimes when you send me to my room I kick stuff and say that I hate you and call you stupid.

(there may possibly have been some lip biting to hid my smile)

TONGGINATOR: But maybe I probably shouldn't call you stupid and say I hate you. Because those are mean words. And they might hurt your feelings.

TONGGU MOMMA: That's true, honey bear. They might.

Gotta love my gal. She IS honest. And I adore that about her, just as much as I savor the fact that she melts into my arms. I love even more that the Tongginator feels she can come to me with the truth, even if she knows it's something I may not like to hear.

You know, like the fact that I'm stupid. Heh.

47 comments:

Clare said...

I love the fact that she is so honest with you too. You both obviously have a very close and trusting relationship, which is lovely. She is also so reflective of her own thoughts and actions which shows so much maturity for her age - in fact if only adults could be so reflective!

Buckeroomama said...

It's priceless that she is so honest with you. :)

Joan said...

I hope T continues to give school a chance. But, its wonderful that she tells you how she feels... that helps so much.

Jennifer said...

You know this already, but I just have to stop by ad say that your little girl is so smart!!!

kay bratt said...

I hope you are saving these little posts for her to read some day! Priceless!

Johnny said...

Sweetness!

justgerbil said...

That is just fabulous. I'm giggling.

Aus said...

Morning TM - just keep her that way!! We've been blessed with our kids so far - even as adults the older ones are tying to still be that honest with us! (and yeah - bit that lip as hard as you need too!)

hugs - aus and co.

Wade's World said...

Kids can be so brutal with how they words things. Jackson's new thing is coming up to me and saying, "Mamma, you aren't my friend right now. You were mean to me when you put me in timeout."

It kills me and cracks me up at the same time.

I hope she has a better week at kindergarten.

happygeek said...

THe transitions are hard eh?
Nice to hear her articulating her feelings. We're still working on that round these parts.

Carla said...

Oh she sounds so sweet!!!

You know, I would be willing to bet that the Ms. Confetti had a talk with her class about how the kids should not use hate and stupid with one another. Her coming out of the blue with it makes me wonder if she had heard it at school, then was mulling it over until she figured out what was bothering her about it....which means you are doing an AWESOME job as her mother. Which I knew you were. :)

Love that she misses your heartbeat and smell.

Sherri said...

But what a good testimony that is! Even though she gets mad at you and calls you stupid and says she hates you, she misses your smell and your heartbeat. How perfect is that?

autumnesf said...

That was priceless!!! I love it. MM is struggling with her "new life" also. She really just wants to be home with me. And she has informed me that she is NEVER moving out, she will always live with me.

And she wants to marry her daddy. But if I wont share she will settle for her brother.

wow.

Super Mommy said...

Don't you just love that honesty? I hope her ups are more than her downs in school. I'm sure you all have read The Kissing Hand - my girlies love that book and I still kiss the inside of their hands when they are anxious!

Sharie said...

Oh boy I think our girls are channeling each other! Amelia has had a really difficult time the last three weeks. First week in her new room was great. Now we are on week 4 and today I had to PULL her off me to get out of the room.
We had a similar conversation about it being OK to be mad at one another, because we will always love one another just Saturday:)

QingLu Mama said...

Second week was real hard for my QingLu also. It does get better, now she is loving it and happy to go each day.
I sure hope T has a great week coming up, I know it's hard on Mama's heart when they are sad or frustrated.
And yes, gotta love that girls honesty!

Ohilda said...

It's so hard when they are so little to keep their emotions in check, but I love how she expresses herself. Too cute!

The Source said...

So sweet that she misses her mama while she's at school! I hope you're feeling better this week!

a little leprechaun said...

Got to love her honesty! Good and bad. You took it really well!! ;-)

How are you feeling?? Better I hope!

Desiree' said...

That second week is always the hardest!! My kids, all five were sick the second week, so now we have week 2 on week 3...

Wanda said...

Ahh.....these dialogues are so good for my soul!!!

Magi said...

It is wonderful that she can talk to you. Sera has started talking about her emotions since going back to school, too. She's been mad at me or sad on various occasions. I love that she can tell me these things, though she does need to learn to let things go. She tells me almost every other day that she's mad at me for not going to her school's grandparent's day party. Whoo, can she hold a grudge. ;o)

The Gypsy Mama said...

Posted at 3am, really? Dude, are you living it up at night now that you know you can sleep all day with the Tongginator at preschool, eh? Fess up! hee hee

mommy24treasures said...

That first month is such a transition... And you are absolutely right, you not feeling well had alot to do with making it more difficult. Hope this week is better.

oh my goodness, she is such a thinker. I just find her amazingly brilliant, honestly.

B1L said...

That is so great. And I have to say that I really admire how you handled that conversation. I know a lot of parents who would have reprimanded their kids for saying those things, even though she was just being honest and sharing her feelings. I think the way you handle things is what makes it so easy for T to share with you!

Lisa (Briana's Mom) said...

What a funny and sweet conversation. Briana has been very clingy since I started feeling better. I don't think she liked that she wasn't able to see me too much last Sunday and Monday. She was fine at school, but when she was at home, she was all up in my business! ;)

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

I love the honesty!!

kerri said...

love how she is able to express her feeling so well!
We are working on that with Jillian so her outburst will start to diminish..

Cheri said...

Amazing how well she expresses herself! I love that she listens to your heartbeat! I do believe Lia does the samething. Soooo, sweet!

Lisa said...

I'm sorry week 2 was a bit more trying....it will swing around again & for the better!

Sounds like you are on the mend...happy to hear it too! :) Glad you can scoop your girl up again at the end of day and relish these kinds of conversations....they will keep you both strong, grounded and connected always!
Hugs from another Mama who sometimes gets called a "doodie -head" in a loud stage whisper....LOL ;)

Dawn said...

Keep the talking going... it will help when she's 16 and thinks your stupid! LOL

You're a great mama to a precious girl!

prechrswife said...

Priceless!

mumma to many said...

Maybe TM you could give her a hanky that has your perfume on? That might help also notes in the lunch box saying I love you!
I know for Aiden it was super important!
Kisses on hands so she can pop her hand on her face when she misses you?
Hugs Ruth in NZ

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

It is wonderful that she can be completely honest with you.....it is when they don't talk that you have to worry!! Somehow, I don't ever think you will have that problem with The Tongginator:)

Hope you are feeling much better this week. Sounds like you had it bad my friend.

Lisa

Kayce said...

Love her honesty. My J has always been good at keeping the honesty there and the conversations going. I love it, except when he came home from a sleepover and proceeded to tell me they snuck out of the house to go play on the golf course at 1am. My gray hairs grew real fast at that honesty! At least he's honest though. :)

Kristi said...

Love her sweet, brutal, and raw honesty!

Jean said...

I love the conversations you have with her!! I love that she is a truth teller!! But hey you aren't stupid- I think you are super smart!!

Sorry that you were under the weather- such a bummer feeling sick. I am a huge baby when I am sick- not much of a pain tolerance here! So glad you are on the mend!!

Aunt LoLo said...

Aww...that just melted my middle-of-the-night heart. I love it.

Beachy Mimi said...

Totally precious.

Justin Narin said...

That is really sweet :) You two are so good and your little tongginator being so honest and truthful is what makes the relationship much sweeter and happier.


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Patricia/NYC said...

Soooo sweet!!
I love their honesty at this age!

Annie said...

She trusts you and that is priceless!!!

The Things We Carried said...

Your girl has me in tears because she mis-said you so much!

Heather of the EO said...

My heart is exploding.

Myrnie said...

Oh the things they say...too sweet!

Mahmee said...

Aw shucks...that is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. (sniff-sniff)
Well, except for that swine flu part...are you doing OK?
M.

Alece said...

you are a damn good parent -- i hope you know that. and i hope you're okay with me saying damn on your blog.