About Me

My little button

Our Little Tongginator

Blog Archive

Design by

Weaksauce Blogs
Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Reappearance of CCSD

Remember Creepy Coffee Shop Dude? Well... I ran into him again yesterday. While the Tongginator was in school. While I was at that same coffee shop with a few acquaintances.

(I told y'all coffee would get me through this transition.)

I immediately recognized Creepy Coffee Shop Dude (hereafter named CCSD), but - strangely enough - he recognized me not at all. CCSD completely ignored our little foursome, even though he sat at the table right next to ours. He completely ignored us, in fact, until a fifth acquaintance walked into the coffee shop.

A fifth acquaintance who happened to have in tow two of her day care children: the first, a three-and-a-half-year-old Caucasian boy and the second, a three-year-old Chinese-American girl.

CCSD made a beeline for this woman within three minutes of her walking into the shop. He intruded upon the conversation with a blunt "is your daughter from China?," but before she could answer with a "she's not my daughter" response, I butted into the exchange, using my best Scary Teacher Voice. (And believe me, y'all, when I say it's Impressive.)

"We do NOT want to have this conversation with you. You have approached me twice before and I have absolutely no interest in hearing what you have to say. Please. Move. ON." He seemed shocked. He looked floored. But he moved on.

And then I looked around at my five acquaintances. My five acquaintances who sat there with their mouths agape and their eyes wide with shock. My five acquaintances who... did I mention I know them from church?

Umm... yeah.

But I'm still glad I did it. And I have some thoughts about this man and this situation. Because I finally did what I'd talked about doing several weeks ago. I Googled him. I also spent quite some time surfing around on the organizational website that is listed on his business card. And the information I stumbled upon was... odd. So much so, that I actually called my social worker to see if she had ever heard of this man's "organization." They work in the same field... they work just one town away from one another... it's a relatively small community. Surely she's heard of him, right? Umm... no. She'd never heard of the organization. Or of him. So she Googled him, too. And clicked away at the website.

And what she found was... odd.

One quick phone call with my social worker led to a second phone call with my social worker AND her boss. They are... concerned. Enough to put out a few feelers to find out exactly what is going on with CCSD. Because the oddness factor? It was pretty high, y'all. I'm not sure what they will discover, but I feel relieved to know that I am not alone in my ick feeling. And that others are thinking the same things that I am thinking. And that yes, they are prepared to call the police if need be.

I share all of this with you not to gossip, but to serve as a reminder - Trust. Your. Instincts. When someone makes your skin crawl, believe that sensation. And don't feel foolish if you perchance overreact, thinking perhaps someone is more than just a scam artist. And might even possibly target young, Asian-American girls.

Because maybe - just maybe - he is.

And he does.

And wouldn't you feel terrible if you ignored said Ick Factor because you were too nice?

54 comments:

mumma to many said...

Yes gut feelings are to be believed and so many times people don't listen to them!
I for one am proud of you TM!
Hugs from all the way down in Chilly NZ!
Hus Ruth

Dawn said...

When asked for parenting advice, I've always told new mama's that my number one piece of advice is to follow your instinct. 'Cause no matter how your little one (or big one) came into your life, I truly believe that God has placed that "knowing" there inside your mama's heart. And, I've talked to my daughter about the "Ick Factor," too - and she's already correctly identified it! (Sadly!)

Good for you, TM!!!

justgerbil said...

Have you ever read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear? That's eaxctly one of his points. We all have that voice, that feeling, but women especially are conditioned to ignore or downplay it. "Be nice, don't make waves, don't be a b****" and so on. "What's your problem, I was just trying to be nice, I was only trying to help, what's the matter..." And that's what many predators look for and try to exploit in order to further their true agendas.

No, you did PRECISELY, EXACTLY right. And you know it. Sure, there are people out there that mean no real harm and they miiiiight get their feelings bruised. BUT, a harmless person with a lick of sense would ALSO understand exactly why that behavior is so egregious in the first place.

You listened to your instincts. And mine say that there was a very very very good reason for that.

Buckeroomama said...

Glad you spoke your mind, TM. Definitely follow your instincts in situations like these and have no qualms about speaking your mind.

bbmomof2boys said...

Ok, so I thought "OMG - she was so rude to this guy" until I went back and reread what you had orignally posted. (CRS disease!!) YOU GO GIRL! And to take it further like you did totally deserves another YOU GO GIRL!

Always Always go with your gut instincts for all things involved with your girl. Whether it be about future CCSDs or trips to the ER a mom's gut is tried and true.

Hugs,
Carla

Kate said...

Sufficiently creeped here. Good for you...and thanks for the reminder. Please keep us posted.

Andrea said...

I am proud of you for saying that to him. I would have been very nervous to do that, but you have to trust your instinct.

autumnesf said...

You rock friend! It really is a shame we live so far apart...we could make big trouble together. And mortify our girls. It would be great.

Anne said...

Good Girl.

sara said...

I am glad you were there with the girls - a voice!

I am with autumnesf - I would love to meet you at the coffee shop - we could read our Bibles AND get into a little trouble :)

happygeek said...

I was going to say what JustGerbil did, you did exactly what you were supposed to do. You paid attention to the icky feeling. If you haven't read the Gavin de Becker book, you really should. It'll be like getting a high five from a security expert because you did everything the way he recommends.
Good job TM!

Aunt LoLo said...

ICKY YECKY BLUCKY POOH.

And that's what I have to say about that.

Way to trust your instincts, Mama...and thank you for the reminder. Way to do your homework, and way to check on the details.

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh yeah...and way to haul out the Scary Teacher Voice. I'm sure it was VERY impressive. :-D

jen@odbt said...

Good for you TM. That is the best advice - listen to your instincts. What a creepo.

Sherri said...

I possess a scary teacher voice, too. It comes in handy, doesn't it? My husband occasionally accuses me of using it on him. And he's not pleased when he's saying that.

I'm glad you took action. I'm amazed that you still had his card. I'd be searching high and low for it.

Your instincts are put there for a reason. Good job, TM!

Jboo said...

Good for you!! So glad you did that and investigated further! Creepy!!!

Janet

Elizabeth said...

WOW!!! That is really creepy. Good for you for doing your research and getting others involved. As for the scary teacher voice, do you offer seminars? I am from the deep south and you know we are just supposed to be sweet to EVERYONE, right y'all?? Wrong--but I need to work on it. Thanks for the important reminder.

Johnny said...

You go T-Mamma!

Jill said...

oh to have been a fly on the wall in the coffee shop that day!! YOU GO GIRL!!!
needless to say i cannot wait for the follow-up post about what you all find!
this guy sounds freaky!
hugs, jill
(sorry for lower case, i am feeding the baby)

Sharie said...

I had goose bumps just when you said he showed up again...YUCK!

With what is going on in the news - finding that girl after 19 years...think how much sooner she would have been found if people would have followed their YUCK instinct!

I hope he's "harmless" (quotes because his words aren't, but glad you aren't assuming he is not.

Erin @ Closing Time said...

The instant I read the title of this post, I got a knot in my stomach and thought that something must be done about this man! I am so thankful that you stood up to him and that steps are being taken. Something is wrong here...he may or may not be dangerous (I'm inclined to think that he is), but his behavior is not normal! You definitely did the right thing!

Cheri said...

Wow! I'm floored that he showed up yet again and taregeted another Chinese-American. So creepy!!

Smart thinking in calling your SW. I'm not sure I would have thought of that. I'm so glad you were there with friends and that you stood up to him! WTG!!

Kiy said...

Yep, you go girl! Not only did you do (extremely) well but you modeled to many (including the gals sitting with you and anyone within earshot in the coffee shop) just how to deal with someone like that. A twofer!

As always, learning every day from you. I don't know if I would have been able to do that, had you not posted about it. Thanks for another learning opportunity.

Kiy

Carla said...

Way to go TM! Listening to that voice inside that says something isn't right is so hard, and I can only imagine what you found...and wow...hopefully he won't ever approach you again OR approach any other young girls.

adoptionroad said...

Made. My. Morning.

You go girl!

Desiree' said...

Great job!! Hope it gets cleared up soon....He isn't in my neck of the woods is he? I have had a starnge encounter with a weird creepy dude at Target here...

Mamatini said...

Good for you! Having read your previous posts on the guy, I was getting icky vibes the moment you said he ignored you. Then when you wrote that he made a beeline for the caregiver, I was ready to send you an email saying that I was getting an icky vibe.

You rock! Not only did you confront him right then and there, you *followed up* with the appropriate people!!

Ooooooh, I'm fired up.

M3 said...

{shivers}, I've got the warning feeling just reading about this, and am SO GLAD you did something about it.

Myrnie said...

Good job, Mama. Way to trust your instinct...and please never use your teacher voice on me. I think I'd cry :)

Marla said...

Ewwwwwww. That is probably one of the creepiest things I've heard in a long time. Kudos to you for not ignoring the signals that something was way off with this guy.

Patricia/NYC said...

BRAVA, Momma!!!!!
Yep...instincts...gotta live by 'em...that AND a good scary teacher voice (lol! I've got one too!)

Thanks for sharing this...

Gail said...

Major ick...I'm creeped out pretty bad right now. You did exactly the right thing TM...always, always go with your gut.

BTW I've got one of those loud/important/move outta my way nurse voices... that's when I have to use it. ;)

The guy definitely has some big issues...yuck.

ChineseDad said...

Good for you! Remember Elizabeth Smart from Utah? Her parents were too nice to a creepy homeless man to the extend that they hired him to do some handyman job around the house. Little Elizabeth had no idea. Then one night that creepy old man came back to take her away. You know the rest of the story. Elizabeth was fortunate enough to be alive. We all have to watch out for strange people who have shown interest in our kids. Some of these people are aquaintances and even close family friends.

Kristi said...

Thank you for a reminder to trust instincts. I pulled my kids out of a preschool due to mine and since have had some confirmation that I did the right thing, despite losing our registration and first month's tuition. As you say, being nice can lead to trouble...
I hope CCSD stays clear!

Janet said...

Okay, so there is this man in the grocery store. I have seen him looking at young girls twice now. They are all about 4-12 ish in age. Both times in creeped me out and both times I watched him like a hawk to see if he would go near them. I don't know what it is about him, but there's something. If he EVER looks at my daughters, goes near them, or anything, I will pull a "Tonngu Mama" on him. Plus, I think I may need to warn other moms. You're right. It's instinct.

Beach Mama said...

AMEN SISTER! I would never have thought to contact my social worker. How many times do we brush off our "instinct" only to realize our instinct was correct. A good reminder to us all. Please keep us posted on CCSD, as there are likely many more out there trolling.

Kia (Good Enough Mama) said...

Ohmigosh, I can't believe how high the goosebumps on my arms are right now. Ick factor indeed. You're so right about the mother's instinct. It vetoes just about any advice out there. Keep us posted on the creep. I hope he disappears.

Briana's Mom said...

Seriously, I cannot begin to tell you how amazing I think you are right now. Not only did you tell that creep to get lost, but you reported someone that could possibly be dangerous. I am a big believer in gut instinct. You did the absolute right thing.

LaLa said...

YUCK...this makes my skin crawl! I am so happy you followed your instincts and hope you find out what you need to keep him away from you and others! Keep us posted.

QingLu Mama said...

Ugh! Great work using those Mama instincts.
This guy sounds too creepy...and if there is a hidden motive to his questions than you may have helped keep him from following through with whatever his intent was. Hurrah for you
Jennifer

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Reading this just makes my stomach turn. What are the chances that you would run into him three times??

I am so glad you listened to your instincts on this....stood up for yourself and the girls and then went that extra mile to investigate!!

Keep us posted, but honestly, I am not sure I really want to hear what you find out.......

Lisa

Annie said...

Oh my!!! You go girl!! Wow!! What a very brave and terrific thing you did today!!! Absolutely listen to your instincts - ICK!!! Good for you TM!!!

Sarah said...

Yick yick yick. This thread has had my attention all along with big red flags. Something is certainly up with this guy. Yick!

The Byrd's Nest said...

I think you handled that very well. you weren't rude and you let him know in very few words that he has been spotted. Good for you!

Debz said...

Good for you for speaking out.
Funny how some people you encounter give you that "I've just been slimed" feeling eh....
I agree don't feel foolish if you overreact.....under reacting could be devestating....I'd much rather feel foolish than devestated.

Mei-Ling said...

So ie he an Asian Fetish Guy...

Or worse?

Justin Narin said...

You really did it :) that is something great to trust out instincts and work accordingly.


Freedom Debt Relief Review

Debbie B said...

Creppy! I'm so glad you acted on your instincts and assuming you explained a little to your friends after you shooed this guy away you were not wrong in the way you treated him at all. Any of them would have done the same had they known the details.

That is just scary that people like that are out there. Yuck!

monica said...

Wow, I just had time to read this post and all the comments. This guy is serious trouble and you are SO on top of things. Actually, I think you were much NICER than I might have been, but I've never been known for my diplomacy with losers like him. He's messing with the wrong mom, TM. Thanks for your support with Jasmine's surgery...Monica

thegypsymama said...

Sic' it to him on behalf of children everywhere!

Suzie said...

Good for you TM!!! Who knows what could eventually happen if you didn't tell him to get lost.

Please keep us posted.

Mahmee said...

I like happy endings! I hope CCSD ends up where he should be. Blech! I've always had a high Pervdar (pervert radar) and I ALWAYS pay attention to it. It helped we ward off some creep at the playground the other day with my "I've got your number pal" stare and my pretend cell phone call to 9-1-1.
Anyhoo... You go girl! You are my hero!
M.

a little leprechaun said...

I am so proud of you for mentioning him to your social worker. I would not have thought of that! Great work!!

And it is really creepy to know that there are people out there like that. I mean you know they are out there, but you unfortunetly can add a face to the creepiness...

And I'm sure your friends appreciate you protecting them from him and not allowing him to infect them with his creepiness....

Cavatica said...

Truly creepy. How did you happen to have any information on him to follow up on? Nice.