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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Lifebooks and Blogs

I don't have much today. Yesterday's post took a lot out of me, probably because nothing I say or do can ever take away the sense of pain and loss caused by abandonment. As hard as it is to accept, I can't fix this. Still, I hope and pray that my words (and listening to HER words) CAN help my daughter process her life story and, more importantly, heal.

Because really? That's all I've got.

As for the words I used? Thanks so much for all y'alls kind words yesterday. It helped to read your encouragement. Although a couple of you might possibly be putting me up on a pedestal, so I thought I'd take the time to explain that I'm not that smart. A lot of those explanations I shared with the Tongginator? Straight out of Beth O'Malley's book and the Asia Lifebooks forum.

See what I mean
? If you work on the lifebook NOW, you'll find the words when your child needs them. I promise that you WILL.

(guilt trip concluded)

Now I need all y'alls help. A Maryland teen adopted from China over a decade ago is looking to put together a list of China-adoptee blogs. The rules are simple:

1. The blog author must be an adoptee, NOT an adoptive parent.
2. The blog author must be adopted from China (or Taiwan).

Do y'all know of any? If so, can you e-mail me (rather than publicly comment) using tonggumomma(at)gmail(dot)com, so that I can forward the links on to this amazing teen? The list this teen will create is NOT for the benefit of adoptive parents, but to serve as a way to connect teens adopted from China with one another. They are teens, writing for themselves and others who share similar stories, so I won't be linking to them. Because they ARE teens rather than adults.

But what about other amazing adoption blogs out there? I'd love to learn of some new ones for my Sunday Linkage and Whatever Wednesdays over at NHBO. Leave a comment below if there is one you consider a must-read.


Aus said...

No blogs for you - but - get off your own back OK? Parenting isn't about 'smart' - it's about many other more important things! Oh - and it WAS smart for you to read up on potential issues / problems / thoughts that your adopted child 'might' have some day so that you had some ideas already when the issues (etc) showed up! Ya know that every once in a while all of us pull a rabbitt out of our hats and shine - it was your turn - so go ahead and feel good about it! And parent to parent - hold onto that pain you feel for T - and let it become a powerful motivator for both of you! What did that old Irish guy say - "A load carried by two is only half a load each"!

hugs - aus and co.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Oh, Aus... thank you so much. That was JUST what I needed to hear today.

3D said...

Sounds like you said the things that needed to be said and said it at her level. I hope I can be as eloquent when the time comes.

Keep smilin!

Aunt LoLo said...

Hmm...I got nothing. My little "crew" of Asian blogs tends to be just other Asian mamas (Buckeroo Mama comes to mind). I'll keep my eyes out, though.

Oh, and I second Aus's comment up there. Planning and preparing is just as genius as coming up with something spur of the moment. However, I've always believed...God CAN work with an empty slate, but why make Him? If we plan and prepare BEFOREhand, then the answers and inspiration can come so much EASIER. Because it's simply recalling, instead of digesting brand new information on the spur of the moment.

Tonggu Grammy said...

Aunt LoLo, you are so right!

Shawnstribe said...

i'm finally catching up again, read your posts and i am so touched that you popped into ours to wish X X for her birthday.
TM hugs, again you leave me spechless with your sensitivity, love and compassion.

Rach@In His Hands said...

Thanks for this reminder....I've already started talking to Josiah about his story. Practicing finding the right words. Now I need to start his Lifebook!

Dita said...

TM...what an amazing lifeforce you are.....do your batteries EVER lose their charge?

I'll keep my eyes open for teen adoptee blogs.

Stop beating yourself up.....you are stressing me out...you are such an awesome Mom...why don't you cut yourself some slack, Perfectionista!