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Friday, September 25, 2009

Confetti Chronicles, Part 1

Tonggu Momma is an idiot. Just so you know.

I'm an idiot because - at the beginning of the school year - Ms. Confetti asked parents to sign-up for various volunteer positions. Of course I felt very excited to hang out in the Tongginator's kindergarten classroom as much as possible because I'm a Smother Mother I have copious amounts of free time due to our ever-lengthening wait to adopt from China. I signed up for every position available except for Class Mom.

Because we all know what Class Moms are like... they are Smother Mothers.

And I, of course, am not a Smother Mother. Just ignore the fact that I signed up to help with Intervention, copying, class parties, Center Time and story time. And that two of those volunteer positions (Intervention and Center Time) involve volunteering for one hour a day for an entire week. AND that only two other women signed up to do those positions, so I have two weeks on and one week off from now until Christmas. You should also ignore the fact that the Class Mom only has to make a few phone calls a couple of times a month. And that I have yet to actually meet the Class Mom because she's NEVER at the school.

Did you hear that thud? It must be my pride falling. I -Tonggu Momma - am a Smother Mother. And the Class Mom? Is just plain smart.

Hanging out in the Tongginator's classroom for an hour most afternoons does make for some interesting stories. For example, on Day Three of volunteering, I made a sweet little kindergartner cry. Oh, yes, I did. Do not ask my what I did wrong... because I'm not exactly sure. I think the task at hand proved too overwhelming and she just melted down. Ms. Confetti reassured me that the class includes three criers - all she need do is look at them past 2 PM and they melt into a puddle of wailing.

All day kindergarten? It is a challenge.

But the absolute worst story? Involves the Tongginator. She and a friend were building creatures during center time. And the Tongginator? Made a person. Her friend expressed concern that the Tongginator made a person with three legs. But the Tongginator? Explained in a very, very, VERY loud voice that her person did NOT have three legs. Instead, her person had TWO legs and one peanut.

Only she didn't say peanut this time.

Excuse me while I sink through the floor now....

43 comments:

Johnny said...

AP Biology!

Love Letters To China said...

That is so funny! Kids are so precious at this age. Love reading about your adventures each day!

justgerbil said...

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!! Don't worry, every single kid on this on planet has (or will!) expressed some fact of biology in a loud & public manner. Its one of the Laws of the Universe.

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh my goodness...I can't even laugh. I mean, maybe I SHOULD. Because...you know what? I'm almost POSITIVE that we'll be getting calls about BBJ in a few years that will make this story sound positively Disney.

If I write to you in three years, crying...will you just nod and smile? LOL

Aus said...

Don't slink - you may however - run / blush / fade / hide / or feign deafness (or in my case dead hearing aid batteries!) :) At least young Tonggy used the right word! Maybe a budding doctor or bio prof? :)

hugs - and a great laugh on a friday -

aus and co.

Tonggu Grammy said...

At least she learned and used the word correctly in context, proving yet again that she is oh so clever. How fortunate for you that you were there to see how well your lessons have been learned!

happygeek said...

But didn't all the great artists do nudes?

Joan said...

Amazing!

Today in the car on the way to Daughter #1's school Daughter 2 said something that sounded like "What color is a peanut" except it didn't sound like she used peanut. Of course I asked her to repeat and then I repeated it too. She said NO MOM... WE SHOULD PAINT OUR CAR.... Whew. but I swear it was Peanut.

Patricia/NYC said...

This entire post, not just the "peanut" explanation, was so darn HILARIOUS!!!

You are one very funny momma! ;)

autumnesf said...

See! There are times in life when the cute names can be more face saving than correct anatomy! Hah!

But then I had the son, who at Panama City Christian decided to do the Hokey Pokey on the playground. Yes, and he sang "Put your left peni* in you put your.....

Yes he did. Yes we did get called. And no I have never figured out who in life had a left and right...

Myrnie said...

Wow...kids. (If you want to hear why Aunt LoLo and sunk through the floor on vacation, you should write to her...ask her about BBJ and a house tour. I'm still sinking.)

Holly said...

Ya know, I'm laughing because the peanut was big enough to be considered a leg.
Sorry!

Annie said...

Oh my gosh!!!! That is sooooooo funny, TM!!!!! Kids say the darndest things!!! Hahahahaha!!!

Kayce said...

I just about spit my coffee onto my keyboard! Gotta love them cuties we call our babes!

thegypsymama said...

BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Clearly you don't have boys because you inevitably become immune to "that" word and its excessive overuse. I mean, once it starts to show up in prayer time, followed by profound litanies of thanks from your 4-year-old accompanied by sympathy that you don't have one, you are on your way to immunity. ;)

Suzie said...

HA! Now that's good stuff! Thank you for another entertaining lunch break!

jen@odbt said...

Did you witness Tongginator's biology lesson? That is hilarious. What I would give to be a fly on the wall in my kids' classrooms.

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

I'm telling you, we need to keep the Tonginator and Charis as far away from each other as humanly possible!!

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

HILARIOUS!!!

Mama King said...

Great story from one Smother Mother to another!

Just an aside. I used to teach in a small High School before I had kids and I was always curious what was the common thread among the "good" kids in school. I realized immediately what it was. I knew every single one of their parents. They were the parents that chaperoned, helped with bake sales, class parents, cheered their kids on from the sidelines, sold raffle tickets, board of ed... They were active and present in their kids lives. So I don't think there is much shame in being a Smother Mother.

Janet said...

Ah yes, children are just wonderful for that, aren't they?

Diane said...

Huh. Have you been showing her a lot of ancient greek statues lately? Studying Greek mythology maybe? I know you are all cultured that way and everything ;)

Dawn said...

LOL...

You know the class mom is probably on round two or three of kindergarten. After a little experience, you learn to choose the activities and volunteer jobs that you truly WANT to do and leave the rest for other moms.

Well, at least she wasn't describing something she'd personally seen. Once when we were keeping our nephew (he was 4-5 at the time) he felt compelled to describe the size of his daddy's peanut to us in complete detail. (Oh, yes he did!) We tried every way we could to stop the conversation but he just kept coming back to it. He ended it all with, "But mine's not that big. But it will be someday!"

Very, very hard to look my brother-in-law in the eyes for a very, very long time! LOL

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Why does this story not surprise me!!! I bet you are really wishing you signed up to be the class mom now!

I hope you have a great weekend.

Lisa

Lisa said...

Bwaaaa hahhhhaaaaaaa.....tears streaming. Best laugh all day honors go to you my volunteering friend!

But your hearts in the right place...I help out in L's class too...but only twice a month! :)
*grin*
Hugs and keep us posted!
Lisa

Shellie said...

Hee hee Ha!!! Just gotta love it!

Lauren's Nana said...

Thanks for the laugh, I know to come to your blog if I am having a gloomy day:). I also know to put any drinks down before reading:).

Kimberly said...

Absolutely HILARIOUS and a classic Togginator moment!

mumma to many said...

LOL! Glad I say I am available if needed! and haven't been needed yet! If only the teachers knew my skills!
Hugs Ruth

Wanda said...

Oh, it's something in the air, I tell ya. Actually "peanut" sounds so much more....ahem....civilized. What I don't get (but don't really want to open up the discussion) is how mine pronounced the real word so well. It's not really in our vernacular.

So, you didn't finish the story you know. Spill!

Suzy said...

More or less anatomically correct, so kudos for that. Bonus for knowing the lexicon. Accentuate the positive, TM.

mommy24treasures said...

I agree about all day K being a huge challenge to many. Especially when they might not get enough rest at home.
Oh My, no words on T's latest shocking statement!;)

Tammie T. said...

LOVED reading this post! I spend most of my day teaching with kindergarten and your post made me laugh out loud! It is so the way the kindergarten world is! Thanks for the laugh! :)

Super Mommy said...

I am a Smother Mother too...so you are not alone! Kids really do say the darnest things ;0)

malinda said...

Oh, shades of the Great P*nis Incident of 2009, where Maya drew one at preschool!

http://tinyurl.com/ydtxlam

Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have used a TINY url!?

Alyson & Ford said...

So you have lots of time in the classroom? You are brave but as you have discovered is priceless!
A creature with a peanut! What a riot!
Love the funny stories you tell us and as I have wondered out loud.... what will I do when AA begins this type of "honest" talk.

Alyzabeth's Mommy for One Year!

Ivy said...

HI TM,

Sorry for not coming by sooner! I've missed your hilarious posts! This certainly made me smile today! You'r little tongginator is way smarter than her years:)) She must entertain you daily. Oh what a cute story.
I can't understand why any kindergartner would cry at you! You're sooooooo sweet. Awh the kid was probably coming off some sugar high, don't take it personally.

So you're volunteering for everything, huh? Got your hands full, but guess it will keep you pretty busy.

Hope you're doing well.

Hugs to the Tongo family from me.

Mei-Ling said...

That is awesome.

No, srsly.

*shakes her head*

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

That is to funny...
sorry it has been a while since dropping in... life has been crazy... take care

Jean said...

Oh dear - you poor thing- how unfortunate that you happened to be there at that moment.

Yes - I think you new volunteer position will be very good for blogging!! Lots and lots of new material!! Would you please come and teach our children about al that stuff! I am not very good at it but I think you are!!

I volunteered a ton with the first and second. After that they probably wondered if our other children even had parents, we were now where to be found!

Scribbit said...

I felt so bad, I got a call this week to volunteer at the school but things are so hectic I couldn't see the time for it. I hate saying no to people--

CC said...

bwahahaha!!! I'm always trying to get Prof X to volunteer at the The Flash's school. But it doesn't happen much.

Alyson & Ford said...

I think some of the honest talk has begun..... Daddy fielded the first one! (he posted that conversation this past week). Nothing as funny as your stories!

Alyzabeth's Mommy