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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

10 Things I've Learned

during the first few days as a kindergarten parent...

1. sending carrots with a dollop of ranch dressing for lunch is a great idea... unless you place them in a little snack baggie, telling yourself "this won't spill"

2. loading down your child's backpack with a ton of teacher-requested school supplies will win you HUGE AMOUNTS of brownie points... unless your child weighs a mere 37 pounds and looks like a Weeble Wobble when lugging around said backpack

3. if you are not a morning person, you might as well let all of the other Bus Stop Parents know that fact early on... because if you show up wearing your pajamas and bed-head right away, it will (hopefully) cut down on gossip in the long run

4. check the bathroom sink after a certain someone brushes her teeth in the morning... otherwise you might not find out until 2:30 in the afternoon that your certain little someone left the water running All. Day. Long.

5. after perusing the extensive school supply list, PTA membership dues, audio headphone and school activity fees, upcoming wrapping paper fundraiser and mandatory National Geographic Kids magazine subscription, I have come to realize that the school thinks we are rich... as in money, not in faith

6. my child is very, very, VERY special... but *gasp* she is no more special than any other child in Ms. Confetti's class

7. don't forget to pack a napkin inside your child's lunchbox... otherwise she just might possibly decide to - I don't know - use her shirt?

8. Competi-mommas are everywhere... and are somehow even more prevalent at elementary school, so brace yourselves

9. teaching your child the Mandarin word for bottom, for use in phrases such as "sit on your bottom," may not exactly be a good thing... considering how the Mandarin word for bottom is 屁股 (pi gu)... yes, as in sounds like pee goo *hitting self on the forehead*

and finally...

10. bring wads and wads of tissues to the bus stop on the first day of school - for the mommas, not the children... otherwise you (and they) might end up ruining a perfectly good shirt


Buckeroomama said...

Great list. (Ugh, running water from morning till 2:30pm!)

I just learned today that Z has homework --in Nursery (and she's not even 2.5yo)!!! Granted, it's only to trace a few dotted vertical lines, but I'm seriously having second thoughts about this...

Love Letters To China said...

Love your commentary! It's all so true... it only gets worse in 1st grade!

Dawn said...

You forgot one...

Never plan anything for the first evening of school. Parent homework (forms, forms, forms) will be assigned and due the very next morning. (Don't forget to multiply amount of time needed to complete by number of children in school.)

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Good to know!! I will keep these things in mind when the time comes for Sarah:)

I have a visual of her with the backpack......the bags are always bigger than they are....they do look like weeble's!


Sharie said...

Sometimes even with a whole wad of napkins the child will use her shirt.

I'm sitting on my pee goo:) laughing out loud - so funny! I can only imagine how funny Kindergarten boys think that is.

Tammie T. said...

I work with about 80 kindergarten children. Plus, I have three kids of my own! I could sooooooo relate to your post. I always look forward to your blog postings because you are so real and such a great writer! :)

justgerbil said...

LOL at shirt-as-napkin. Older Son used to come home with chocolate milk stains in his armpit. That one always threw me.

#8 Fie! Fie on competi-parents, I say!

#9 made me spit coffee. Igoo!

Kim said...

Great list and oh so true! I'm sure my boys must of thought the napkin was just pure decoration.

Have a great kindergarten year!

autumnesf said...

Loved this.

The backpack and massive school fee thing....which you forgot to mention those scholastic book orders... are SO TRUE!

Oh, and another one....your child will come home with fresh new phrases or words such as "Ef'n". Whoa.

Kristi said...

As a former preschool teacher I find that this would make a good reminder for preschool parents as well.
And I'll print it out to remind myself when I take Caleb to his very first day next Tuesday...

The Source said...

Too funny about the pee goo!

The school begging for money only gets worse as they get older. And they'll stick flyers in their bookbags for everything under the sun!

Kris said...

taking notes~!! god this was good. i had to smile through most of it :O)

Mahmee said...

Ha! Your post will be the first chapter in my 'How To Cope With My Baby Leaving The Nest' book....and added to the list of my 'How The School Will Suck Our Wallet Dry' checklist.

Andrea said...

You have learned already the fun things about school. I had a parent say the other night, that back to school meant open your wallet time!

CC said...

Fabulous list. Especially number 8. Too true.

And don't get too big of a head here...but I did a 'Twas the night post. I wasn't trying to copy you copying me. Really. I just couldn't think of any other poem that would go with this picture!

Jboo said...

Great list and all so very true!! :) Hope school is going great for both of you!


Jaye @ canadian-mom.ca said...

Hahaha Ohh my ... I totally loved this post!

Mei-Ling said...

"otherwise you might not find out until 2:30 in the afternoon that your certain little someone left the water running All. Day. Long."

Omigawd. WHAT?

["sit on your bottom"]

Not that I am the authority on learning Mandarin as a second language but... I don't think people would say it that way. Mandarin isn't so literal like English.

*sighs* *Googles*

Mr Google Translator Tools tells me that translating "sit on your bottom" looks like:


"Sit at your bottom." (because 在_上 literally means "on___")

I just looked it up, but even if you were to translate it literally,坐在你屁股 it'd probably come across as "Sit ON your bottom" rather than just "Sit down."

(Or maybe 在你屁股上 "Sit your butt down [on top of something].")

Most people in Taiwan just tended to say 坐一下吧 or something like that ("Sit for a minute")

Mei-Ling said...

P.S. Okay, this is going to bother me down.. I'm going to consult my native Taiwanese translator.

bbmomof2boys said...

So, it seems you still have a lot of learning to do huh? Yeah, don't worry, we all do.

#2 and #5 - isn't is crazy the amount of stuff they request. Yes, I know that the stuff is needed because its not supplied by the schools but holy cow! I used to send in the stuff a little at a time over the first week or so. Made it easier on their little backs!

#4 & #7 *snicker*

#8 - don't know if elementary school is worse or sports mommas...they can be pretty bad themselves! How would u like it if some lady was telling your kid that he was gonna strike out and that he sucked at baseball (actual words used) while he was getting ready to bat. This when he was 8 years old!! Come on people!!

#9 - sounds like a story!! So spill the beans!


Aunt LoLo said...

Ha! "pee goo". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You got through it, mama.

jen@odbt said...

Very sweet lessons TM. I remember using the tagalog word for tail and the teacher had no clue what I was talking about. Ha!

Donna said...

Ouch! Number 6 sounds most painful! I think I actually winced a little bit when I read it. This couldn't possibly apply to *my* kids too? ::::feeling faint::::


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Patty O. said...

Love the list! I have lunchbox mishaps all the time--with spilled juice mostly.

Oh, and competi-mommas are so aggravating!!! Drives me nuts!

sara said...

yes, yes!! One of the perks to home schooling was ALL the $$ we saved :) lol!! I think the school district definitely thinks we have extra lying around! HA!! What a great list. Hope that those bus stop Mommas can handle you :)

Rhonda said...

Oh Sister, let me tell you about "them there competi-mommas!" UGH! It does get worse. And Worse. And WORSE! Throw in the male gender, some great athletes and you have yourselves some real case-studies to ponder! (You know I have a college freshman, a high school sophomore, a 6th grader, and my Macy Li). They tell me that the mama-drama with girls can be fierce, so I'm going to avoid that AT ALL COSTS! Don't want this sweet angel to be around all that b*tchiness....G.R.O.S.S.

Well, KINDERGARTEN. Never forget sending my 3 off! Killer. I always boo hoo-ed and it never got easier. You'll make it, and so will she. Sweet age. At the end, though, they've changed so much and grown up in so many ways. Then tomorrow, you'll be moving her into her dorm-room at college! It happens in a flash. A wise old lady told me when my oldest was a toddler, "Honey, the days are long, but remember that the years are short!" AND RIGHT SHE WAS! :(

Well, can't wait to hear more stories about the Tonginnator and Ms. Confetti and such!

Have a great Labor Day!

Annie said...

Oh my gosh!!! Love this list!! I have 3 kids in "real" school now and I swear I feel like (some nights), I have more homework than they do:)

Kayce said...

Bustin up on #4! Been there done that!

As for number 5...oh it's only just begun. I just shelled out $30 for P.E. clothes, $40 for wood shop, $5 for the first dance, $55 for school pictures (and that was one of the cheeper packages!), and the kicker.....$95 for the yearbook which we have to pre-order now and get in June of next year. We're only on week three. Nice! Our first fundraiser is coming in a few weeks.

The Things We Carried said...

You have become wise ever so quickly!

Kiy said...

I often wonder about all the fees, in public school. I asked my mom, she said there were very very few and we didn't sell *anything*. I have issues with making the kids sell stuff, drives me absolutely batty. How can you say no to the neighbor kid when you don't need a 17# box of candy? Bah, the schools know that. (Okay, off my little issue box now.)

Great list, I will have to remember this when our time comes.

And yeah, #8 - just fine and dandy. Another bah. I just know I'm not going to get points for playing nice. :)


Asianmommy said...

Haha! Pee Goo!

Suzie said...

I love this list! Thanks for making me smile today :o)

Cavatica said...

Pee goo. Ha! I'm such a kid, as that just makes me snort and want to say it over and over. But I'm anxious to read Mei-Ling's next take on it. We say "hiney" at our house and that's a ridiculous word, if you ask me. I want to giggle everytime we say that!