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Monday, June 1, 2009

Splinters and a Shock

The Tongginator got her first splinter yesterday evening. At the last minute, we decided to eat dinner on our deck, so the Tongginator came outside in her bare feet. We enjoyed the gorgeous weather and even some local wildlife during our hastily assembled meal.

After dinner, while clearing the table, a wicked splinter embedded itself in the Tongginator's big toe as she walked inside to our kitchen. The husband, being a complete and total wuss, ceded splinter removal to yours truly.

So NOT what I wanted to do.

I used a pair of tweezers, then a needle, while the Tongginator cried in my arms. I found it so difficult to concentrate while causing my baby pain. I appeared calm on the outside, but inside my nerves jumbled together and I secretly winced every time she sobbed.

Such a small hurt. Such a huge reaction. And all I could think about was a mother I've never met who lives less than a mile down the road from me.

This mother lost her son this past weekend, when a horrific act of violence changed our small community forever. Most of my neighbors know the young victim, described as "just a regular kid." He loved playing basketball at the hoop located on the cul-de-sac behind my house. He loved riding his bike all around town. He loved his mom. And he was brutally killed on Saturday afternoon, just two blocks from my sister's home.

I can't imagine the pain his mother feels. I can't fathom her huge sense of loss. A decade ago, she was right where I am now, comforting her preschooler over some small hurt. In what I'm sure felt like the blink of an eye, ten years passed. She probably believed she had all the time in the world with her son.

But she didn't.

Last night I didn't protect the Tongginator from a splinter. All too soon, I won't be able to protect her from most anything. And I feel almost suffocated when thinking about that.

25 comments:

bbmomof2boys said...

That's one of the hardest things a parent has to do - realizing as our kids grow up that we can't protect them like we really want to. We have to learn to let them fight their own battles, make their own mistakes. Its hard! With T up in WVA we can't be there every second of every day, knowing what he is doing, where he is going. Its been a year now so most days I'm okay but sometimes I just get so scared for him. Its hard to explain.

So sorry about the young man. Makes no sense to see this type of violence.

Hugs,
Carla

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh, TM...big hugs to you, and bigger hugs to your community...and especially that poor mama. The future can be so Big and Scary...but what time we DO have is such a gift.

jen@odbt said...

Agh - splinters are a nightmare. My kids seem to be like magnets to splinters. Next time try numbing the area a little with ice. So hard when they're so squirmy.

My heart goes out to the family. I heard about that senseless act on the news last night. What a tragedy...it absolutely does not make any sense at all.

happygeek said...

How horrifying for that mom.
I'm so thankful my kids have a Father who cares about them even more than I do, while I cannot protect them from everything (and yes, it is suffocating) I can trust them to Him and it is comforting.

Dita said...

I am so sorry for that mother's loss and the loss so many mothers face every day due to violence.

I can imagine, as we all do, that she thought she had a lifetime with him ahead. I worry all the time just leaving for the day that I can't protect them when I'm away from them. I don't know the answer...only that I'm right there with you.

Hugs to you, TM....I'm so sorry....
Dita

Andrea said...

What a horrible tragedy! Prayers going out for that family and the community.

The Wade's said...

I'm so sorry for your community. I'll keep this mother (and the family) in my prayers...

Patricia/NYC said...

Such a horrible tragedy...I am so, so sorry...

And you have certainly managed to sum up my thoughts these days into your post about protecting your children...I've been really feelin' it lately, especially as we prepare to enter Kindergarten.

Oh...& for the splinter? A very good friend of mine who is from China told me to get a dried mushroom, dampen it, & leave it on the splinter for a few minutes; the mushroom will draw out the splinter...I haven't tried it yet myself, though.

gretchen from lifenut said...

My heart goes out to the mother who lost her son. The pain must be unreal.

Heather of the EO said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear this. It really brings perspective doesn't it? It does go too fast, and it's more precious than we can ever imagine.

Thank you for sharing this the way that you did. It speaks volumes.

Becky said...

You shared this story in such a touching way. Sometimes I laugh about how crazy I get trying to let my children experience life without over-protecting them. But is is hard. And scary. With the big things and the little things.

It's a good thing we don't have to do it alone.

Jboo said...

So sorry about that splinter -- those hurt! And oh my -- I feel for that family -- heart-breaking!

Janet

Laura L. said...

I'm sorry to hear about the family who lost a son. How sad, I can't imagine a loss of that magnitude.

Sorry to hear about the splinter. I know how hard that was on both of you. Jadyn had a big splinter in her hand from our deck recently. I hated it that it would have to hurt so much to remove it. Not fun.

Cassi said...

My thoughts and fears go out to the family who lost their son. It just isn't right, you know. Parents aren't supposed to bury their own children. It is supposed to be the other way around.

I am so sorry for them and for all of you who have been touched by it.

You are right, one of the hardest things to face is that we can't protect our children from everything.

(Any my dear hubby ALWAYS backed out of splinter removal duty!)

Shawnstribe said...

its so tough not being able to protect them!!!!
(((hugs)))
xxx
s

Briana's Mom said...

Totally heartbreaking. I could cry just thinking about that poor mother. I worry so often that I can't protect Briana from everything.

My brother-in-law's friend hit his own 18 month old son with his car in a horrific accident a few weeks ago. He just didn't see him. I don't know if I could survive something like that.

Janet said...

Oh no! That is so awful. I can not imagine. I missed my kids so much it was paralyzing, and that was only for 5 weeks. I can't imagine missing them....forever. Makes me tear up. I can not imagine.

As for splinters, they are a regular thing here. It just comes with the bare feet territory. :-)

Sharie said...

Again you put something horrific into words beautifully. I feel for your community as my own has been doing a lot of suffering from violence lately too - it does shake you to the core.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

That is so horrible.....I can't even imagine the pain that mother is suffering from the tragic loss of her son.

It has really been a bad year for your neighborhood......so sorry for your loss.

Hug your girl extra tight tonight:)

Lisa

Michelle said...

That is so awful and sad about the boy. My prayers go out to the family.

Marla said...

Oh that breaks my heart. :( I can't even imagine and pray I never have to know that type of pain. They will be in my prayers.

Misty said...

i'm so sorry. i guess that's all. :) i hate to think that there are things worse than fire ants (our version of the T's splinter), but i know there are. it's hard.

Peanut said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this tragic loss. Isn't it amazing though how our mother-hearts connect to each other in times like these? It freaks me out to think how my children will be increasingly outside of my care and influence as they grow. I have to keep giving them back to God, just as I did when they were newborns and I was afraid they'd stop breathing... otherwise the fear would constantly suffocate me. It's hard for me to think about, but in a sense, these are the easy years.

alece said...

can't even begin to imagine...

Michelle said...

Such a horribly tragic story, TM. I just can't imagine what your neighbors must be going through.