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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Mall Moment

The husband and I displayed tremendous naivete before we adopted transracially. Sometimes, however, sometimes we experience moments just as we imagined them before arriving home with the Tongginator. Yesterday I lived through one such moment. A little girl of about three fast approached a meltdown with her daddy. He glanced up, saw the Tongginator and I walking along, and grasped at a straw.

MAN IN THE MALL
: Look, honey. That big girl is holding her mommy's hand.

DAUGHTER WHO ALMOST MELTED DOWN: (looking at me and the Tongginator as we walked past) Oh. (sigh) Okay, Daddy.

The Tongginator doesn't experience this enough when we are two among a crowd. Because, for one rare moment, a stranger viewed the Tongginator and I as simply a mom and her daughter, just like everyone else. And I seriously wanted to hug that man.

31 comments:

happygeek said...

And not only that, it must have been nice for the Princess to be "The big girl." THE example. As someone who spent 98.99% of her childhood in trouble (and rightfully so) it was so nice to occasionally receive outside affirmation.
So, other than nearly hugging random strangers, (who deserved the hug, no doubt) how was the mall?

a Tonggu Momma said...

You'll hear about it tomorrow. And yes, there is A Story.

Veronica Mitchell said...

One of the ways you and Anymommy have influenced me is that now, when I see a mom with a group of kids of different ethnicities, I always speak on the assumption that they are one family. And they usually are. And if they aren't, the mom or dad seems flattered by the assumption anyway.

Marla said...

Awesome. Yay for his quick assumption and yay for the Tongginator being the big girl!

autumnesf said...

Quick thinking on the daddy's part! Nicely done for sure.

Sigh. Like you, I wish these type of moments were more the norm.

Joan said...

Rock On Stranger Dad!

Not normally a sentence I would write :-)

Jboo said...

Yay Stranger Dad! What a great moment!

janet

Heather of the EO said...

I LOVE IT.

LaLa said...

YAY ...love those moments when we just blend in. Of course no one would ever suspect Annslee wasn't my daughter b/c she says "Mommy, Mommy, " about a hundred times a minute LOL

jen@odbt said...

What a wonderful moment.

3D said...

That is how it should be viewed...parents and kids. Not adopted or different. I am glad that you had a nice experience instead of pain and sadness.

Keep smilin!

Janet said...

WOO HOOOO!!!! I LOVE that! You would not believe how many times I have been asked if I am babysitting. A.R.G.

Aunt LoLo said...

LOVE it...besides the fact that he assumed T was your daughter, didn't it feel AMAZING to be holding the hand of the Model Child? For once? (Or maybe that's just how I feel while out with BBJ....)

Can't wait to hear the Mall Story. :-)

Briana's Mom said...

Beautiful.

Sharie said...

Amelia loves to be recognized as the "big kid" and I'm sure Togginator did too.

We have more moments of being recognized as mother and daughter than being questioned about why we look different. This may have something to do with the fact that Amelia never stops with the, "Mommy, Mom, Momma, Mommy." EVER! :)

I actually had someone surprised a few weeks ago when I said something about adoption. She said our manerisms and personalities are so similar she assumed Amelia's father was Asian - well I'm sure he was:)

Wanda said...

Ahh...refreshing.

adoptionroad said...

So maybe the mall isn't such a bad place after all. ;-) (Sarcasm intended since I avoid the mall at all costs).

CC said...

Awwwwwww!

Donna said...

Oh my gosh, I'm SO sorry this isn't more the norm where you live! I really have to stop taking this sort of thing for granted because where we live I've almost never had someone think I'm anything other than my Chinese kids' mom. Not the babysitter, not the Nanny, not the Grandma.

It's easy to forget that other people have a different experience. Thanks for the very humbling reminder.

:::hugs:::

Donna
Our blog: Double Happiness!

Kayce said...

LOVE this story!!!! Kudo's to that dad!

The Things We Carried said...

Ohhhhhh, I get it! You know I do.

Gail said...

I think I would have given that man a kiss. :) Wow! For once a good mall moment. I call them grocery store moments.

Saint Louis Family Robinson said...

I hear ya sister!!! We had trouble getting out of the goat yard at the zoo the other day: The gatekeeper says to Josie "Sorry Honey you can't leave without your Mom." And I was standing RIGHT THERE attempting to open the gate! Of course Josie is dumbfounded. She looks at me to verify that I hadn't vanished and then looks back at the lady and starts pushing the gate open. So the lady repeats herself. I finally responded: "I'm right here!"

What gets me is I was trained as a volunteer for the zoo and I know for a fact that the lady's job is to watch the GOATS! It's more likely that a goat will escape than a child.

Gina (Caleeo) said...

Wow - how wonderful! And how telling is it that we all are nearly amazed by just how wonderful it is. That really speaks to how rare an occurrence it is.

Michelle said...

And what a beautiful family it is!!!

mommy24treasures said...

oh I love this story:)

Jean said...

Oh my- I want to hug him, too!

I love your blog- I want to get over here more often- but just too busy lately! You are so funny and a breath of fresh air!

You lighten my load!
Blessings,
Jean

Can't wait to hear more!!

Patty O. said...

How great. And add to that the fact that the man was using your girl as an example of exemplary behavior and you must be one happy mom!!

Mahmee said...

I can still recall the very first time someone treated R and I like Mother and Daughter, period. It was wonderful. It happens a little more frequently these days than it used to but, I wish it was something that happened every time.
M.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Great story!! I bet you wanted to hug him:)

Lisa

discombobulated said...

Love it.