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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Butterfly Kisses Warm My Heart

a guest post from our house guest Mrs. R...

This year I found myself in a situation that I hoped would never happen to me. Then Tonggu Momma and Tonggu Daddy opened their hearts and their home to me. Staying here for awhile has lifted my spirits and I have even found myself smiling and laughing a little when I thought I wouldn't be able to for a very long time.

The morning after my very first night here, I was awakened by a light knock on my door. I opened it to find a beautiful little girl waiting to snuggle with me. She ran to her room and came back with her blanket and her pandas. She covered me with her blanket and shared 19 of her panda bears with me. By the time we were all tucked in, there really wasn't any room for me, but I stayed until she became bored because the light sound of her breathing was so comforting.

You know how they say smiles are contagious? Well, The Butterfly has a smile that lightens my heavy heart. Little Miss T., while wearing a pink butterfly shirt, a plaid skirt, and a sparkly hair-thingy with poms poms, will position her face 3 inches from mine... and just smile. If anyone else were to do this, I'd feel the need to mention personal space and secretly question whether an Axis IV diagnosis were appropriate. But how can I not adore someone who adores me so much? Girlfriend loves everything about me, from my underwear and my ability to color Tinkerbell, to my out-of-control curls. Needless to say, my self-esteem greatly improved during my time here and a five-year-old has helped me with this.


I'm sure you know that Miss T. is all about Princesses. She doesn't just talk about being a Princess, she becomes one. Do you know this little girl eats dinner most nights actually dressed like a Princess? She has 3 different princess dresses and a whole collection of princess shoes. She flips her hair, waves her wand and turns the mashed potatoes into something magical (that only she can see). Even more importantly, she turns Tonggu Daddy into The Daddy Fairy. When she wishes me to speak, she will point her wand at me. When she's heard enough, she points the wand at someone else.

Since I had some childhood years with Tonggu Momma, I can attest to the fact that Tonggu Momma is not telling a falsehood when she says that she was/is a Tomboy. TM and I used to trek through the woods. (I got chiggers playing with TM once upon a time. We killed them with clear nail polish from her girly-girl sister Kit Kat's nail polish collection when we were in first grade).

So - for me - the most funny part of all of this is watching TM and Tonggu Daddy watching this child. One time Miss T. was sitting at the table having difficulty finishing her food because she was talking so much about the color Pink and butterflies and how beautiful everything is. Some of her hair was in her face and Tonggu Daddy gently pushed it away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Miss T. flipped her head so her hair fell forward and said, "No, daddy. I like my beautiful hair in my face". Tonggu Daddy quietly said "wow," but I don't think he really meant to say it out loud. I think he had a scary flash-forward of Miss T., the teenager. And it flew right over Miss T.'s head because she was just so excited that all eyes were on her.

The Tongginator can pack some food into her little tummy. She loves her vegetables. She requests cauliflower. While other little children are watching SpongeBob, Miss T. is tuned into The Food Network. I find this hilarious and I try really hard not to laugh out loud. This child can go to town on some Eggplant Parmesan.

This morning, Miss T made her Grand Princess Entrance by announcing, "Look how beautiful I am!" What's so ironic is that Tonggu Momma and Tonggu Daddy are so not that way. They teach the Tongginator that things are not important, people are. That beauty on the outside is not important, but beauty on the inside is. Little Miss T. verbalizes understanding during these lessons, but then flits off, waves her wand and turns me into a butterfly. Yesterday, she took the cat's string toy and performed a "beautiful ribbon dance," demanding full attention of her audience, despite that said audience comprised of just me.

Little Miss T. and I are pretty comfortable around each other now. "Our" bathroom is fun. My contacts are next to her Princess toothpaste that is next to my eyeshadow that is next to her ladybug towel. Miss T. requires a potty seat and a step stool and I require a straigtening iron and Aveda Foot Relief . At first I was afraid to shower because I didn't want to ruin all the frogs that lined the tub. Now I just step on 'em. Also, Madame Butterfly's a.m. knock on my bedroom door is not so shy anymore. Now, when I open the door, instead of Pandas guarding me while I sleep, Pandas now bop me on the head and tell me to hurry up and wake-up.

One night I got to see The Butterfly stay up late and wait for Charlie (the ice cream man who has been kicked out of previous neighborhoods for coming so late during non-summer months). It was precious to watch her pick out an ice-cream, pay for it, and then savor it while it ran down her face (ok, that last part kinda grossed me out, but I don't have kids).

Seeing childhood innocence and watching a little girl get so excited about small things reminds me that life is good. Little Miss T. is very lucky to have the parents she has. And I am very lucky to have them as my friends. I think that now I have the strength to move on and face what comes my way with my chin up.

24 comments:

bbmomof2boys said...

Mrs R - that was such a sweet post. It's amazing how a little girl can change our outlook isn't it? Our Little T does the same thing for us everyday.

Hugs,
Carla

Buckeroomama said...

What a beautiful post. :)

Little girls have this special brand of feel-good magic that just smooths all the creases, don't they?

Rebecca Ramsey said...

What a beautiful family you have. You're all so very lucky!

I want a wand like the Togginator's!

happygeek said...

Now that was neat, seeing Miss T through someone else's eyes.
Thanks for the post Mrs. R!

Jboo said...

What a sweet post! Kind of amazing how having a little one can make everything better, isn't it! Have fun with the little princess!

Janet

jen@odbt said...

What a great post - sometimes it takes another perspective to appreciate how blessed we are. Tongginator definitely makes life more fun. I think a wand is what I need at my dinner table too.

Heather of the EO said...

What a beautiful post!!! I can see The Tongginator more clearly in my mind than ever before.

You are creating many memories to cherish for years to come, just like the chigger story :)

Peace to you, Mrs. R.

Joan said...

Thank you Mrs. R. My eyes watered up reading your post. It was wonderful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about sweet wonderful Tongginator

redmaryjanes said...

I am so happy that you are able to find healing with the T family. I have found them to be wonderfully caring and good friends. I would love the opportunity to meet them in person.

Dawn said...

Ditto what happygeek said!

You are so blessed to have the T family, no doubt! But, I am as equally sure that they have been blessed to be able to minister to you right now, too.

Thanks for giving us another (unique!) peak into their home.

Be blessed!

The Source said...

That was a very thoughtful and sweet post! Interesting to see the fabulous Tongginator through someone else's eyes...and that she's truly every bit as wonderful as her mama says! I enjoyed this!

Want to come stay at my house? You can experience preteen boys! Ugh! No magic wands or fairies here.

prechrswife said...

What a sweet post! Love the different perspective.

Carla said...

this was/is a sweet post...so very sweet. So fun reading about how special and wonderful she is through your eyes, and I'm so glad you have found some healing along the way.

goodfountain said...

So great to see The Tongginator from someone else's perspective. Thanks for sharing. And, TM, thanks for letting Mrs. R do the guest post.

mumma to many said...

What can I say that hasn't already been said!
I am glad that Miss T has helped as i am sure Mrs T and Mr T have!
I love the fact that you can see all of this when life for you hasn't been filled with happiness!
Also Emily and Alice have the same cardigan Miss T is wearing! Pumpkin patch rule! Especially since it started here in NZ!
Hugs Ruth IN NZ
PS feel free to visit when you need a break from the world!

Myrnie said...

Well, Mrs. R., we all love Tonggu Momma. And any friend of TM's, especially one as wonderful as you, is a friend of ours :o)

Wishing you lots of love and laughter in your future!

Tonggu Grammy said...

Mrs.R, so glad that you are experiencing a new side of life via the Tongginator.

I'm praying for you to come through your current turmoil with joy in your heart again.

Just so you know - they are lucky to have YOU in their life too!!!!!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Yeah. What my momma said.

Sharie said...

Mrs. R,
I kind of understand where you are coming from. When I graduated college I lived with my sister and my just turned 2-year-old niece for 3 years.
It was so precious to get to be suck a big part of her life even if it was for a short time.
They traveled with me to China when I went to become a mother myself, and when we got back my daughter and I moved a 1/2 block away from them.
The bonds we form - the things we REALLY see when we experience them through a child's eyes are the most precious!

Aunt LoLo said...

Ms. R, welcome!! Thank you for the sweet stories...I truly enjoyed them!! Good luck with your next adnventure, and take care of yourself. :-)

(Count yourself lucky - I once woke a houseguest up with ice when I was 5!)

Laura L. said...

What a wonderful post, Ms. R! What a very wonderful view into the Tongginator's house and world.

The part about her pointing her wand at you guys during dinner made me smile. That girl has some personality.

I do wish you well with your life. Take care.

Blue said...

Don't you just LOVE them, Mrs. R? Glad you could make a recovery stop at the Tonggu home. And since the Butterfly loves you, you can do ANYTHING!

Kayce said...

Mrs. R...beautiful post!! I just love that you are able to spend some wonderful time with The Butterfly...enjoy all those kisses!

Janet said...

What a nice post, Mrs. R! It's neat to see life from a different angle. Thanks for letting us see a different side of the Tonggu household!