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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sunday Linkage

As always, I don't necessarily agree or disagree with these links, but I believe they are important to consider. For those of you new around here, I'm an adoptive momma. Each Sunday I try to post links relevant to the China- adoptive community. I read some of these linked posts while nodding my head in agreement... others stretch my mind as I seek to understand. Always, always, I consider them.

Search and Reunion -- adult adoptee (Korea) Bae Gang Shik at The Transracial Korean Adoptee Nexus... thoughts about his upcoming reunion with his first mother

Behavior I Regret -- adoptive momma (domestic) Dawn at this woman's work... a journey of emotions when thinking about and interacting with her child's first parents

Say My Name: Changing My Adoptive Name -- adult adoptee (Korea) Chun-Soon Li, who regularly blogs at killer concubines & the meek shall inherit the earth, at the blog 8 Asians... thoughts about her recent change from the name given to her by her adoptive parents to her first, Korean name -- be sure to read the comments here

What's In A Name?
-- adult adoptee (Korea) InMySeoul... another respectful, though slightly different opinion from an adoptee about the topic of changing one's name

Overheard from Sparkle: One Funny and One Serious -- adoptive momma to Sparkle and Pumpkin (domestic, semi-open and international, South Africa) at Mayhem and Magic... what does adoption say about her family?

love and fear -- waiting to adopt (domestic) luna at musings from the edge... thoughts and feelings during the final weeks of their wait, as K is due in a few weeks

birthmother -- adult adoptee (Taiwan) Mei-Ling at Shadow Between Two Worlds... her first momma is more than just a "birthmother" - she is her mother

One-Sided Secrets -- adoptive momma (domestic, open) Heather at Production, Not Reproduction... about secrets that her family does not control

The Language Journey of Lex-B
-- adult adoptee (Korea) Sang Shil-Kim at Land of the Not-So-Calm... powerful post about language and culture and the transracial adoptee

Apparently, "Slanty Eyes" Photos are the New Pink
-- guest contributor Jenn Fang, who regularly blogs at Reappropriate, at the blog Racialicious... if your children are Hannah Montana or Jonas Brothers fans, then you really should read this post

Race and Identity
-- adult adoptee (India) Pushpa Duncklee at Pushpa's Blog... an interesting role reversal for a Caucasian friend

Babies!!! -- adoptive momma (China) the Rumor Queen at China Adopt Talk... lists links to the blogs of families expecting referrals this month

Material Girl is Denied Lucky Star Treatment -- adult adoptee and adoptive momma (Korea) Paula at Heart, Mind and Seoul... a long, hard look at "what is best?" versus "what is good enough?" after Malawian courts deny Madonna petition to adopt


Tonggu Momma Husband said...

Your third link, about the woman changing her name back to Korean ... it makes me so very happy that we are at least trying to be open minded about these topics ... and how important it is to keep focus on what's best for the Tongginator. At the same time, it makes me cringe when I hear/read other adoptive parents and the things they sometimes say. Thanks for the effort honey, it's appreciated every week.

Kiy said...

Funny you should comment about the exact same link I was going to comment on! The parent that was so obnoxious ... I do worry about that, close-minded and self-righteous. We are trying, so hard, to learn for our little gal. We want to always say the right things, have the perfect answers for her, help her find her way. We know, however, that we won't always say the right things, have all the answers she needs, nor always be able to help her find her way. But reading blogs from adult adoptees helps, so very much! Keeping an open mind would be the first step. That commenter does not have one. He has all the answers - in his mind. However, he doesn't. And his daughters will bear the consequences. (And unlike some of the other commenters, I do feel he is an adoptive parent and not someone just coming in to stir the pot, and that saddens me. I do hope someone is able to open his mind, or be there for his girls.)

I'm rambling. I know it and can't stop! I wanted to process what the young woman was writing, and had to stop reading the comments and go back to the original post. Her feelings are something I do worry about with our little gal. Sure, we are doing our best, but we are two white folks raising a Chinese child. And yes, the only way we would have been able to have a family is by adopting. So the inner struggles are there. I do hear what she is saying, and she makes me challenge myself. And really, that’s why I follow your links – to challenge myself and learn.

Thank you TM, you have helped me find a new (to me) blog site (actually, two!) that I want to follow and read more of. This young woman’s writing is amazing. I feel I will learn a lot from her and the others at 8Asians.


P.S. Yikes, this ended up being long! :)

Mei-Ling said...

I believe the adoptive parent (you're referring to) was actually an adoptive parent. He was too direct and honest about his emotions and mindset to be a troll or otherwise.

It was frustrating though...

luna said...

thanks for the link! I look fwd to checking out some of the others.