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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Another Tongginator Moment

On Sunday, the Tongginator spent the majority of her afternoon hanging around outside with The Horde Of Children who live in our neighborhood. Have I mentioned that 26 children under the age of 13 live on our street, along with about eight teens? And that there are only 22 houses? Hence The Horde. Thank goodness we live on a cul-de-sac.

Anyways, one of The Horde knocked on our door yesterday afternoon. I greeted this grumpy-faced seven year old with a rueful grin. "What's going on out there?"

: The Tongginator is yelling at us and throwing flowers at us and stuff.

: She IS? Well, sounds like you need to take care of that.

: (blank look)

TONGGU MOMMA: How old are you again, sweetie? Eight?


TONGGU MOMMA: Okay, well you're bigger than her, so you know what to do. Go back and tell her that she can't play with you if she's being mean like that. It's okay to say that to her.

One Of The Horde took off while I secretly watched through the living room window. She gently confronted the Tongginator yet again. More flowers flew through the air. There might possibly have been some kicking of dirt. Then One Of The Horde delivered her message.

And ten... nine... eight...

TONGGINATOR: Wwwwaaaaaahhhhhhh!

I waited at the door for the Tongginator as she made her dramatic entrance. Because the Tongginator is ALL ABOUT dramatic entrances.

TONGGINATOR: They said I can't play with them anymore.

TONGGU MOMMA: Well, what were you doing just before they said that?


TONGGU MOMMA: (there may possibly have been some raising of the eyebrows)

TONGGINATOR: I threw some flowers.

TONGGU MOMMA: Why did you do that?

TONGGINATOR: Well... well... they gave me a lollipop, but it wasn't a real lollipop and I wanted a REAL one. But mine was an imaginary one.

TONGGU MOMMA: Oh. Did anyone else have a real lollipop?

TONGGINATOR: No. Everyone had imaginary ones. But I wanted a REAL one.

TONGGU MOMMA: Well, Tongginator, honey, if they don't have any real ones, then they don't have any real ones. It was nice of them to give you an imaginary one. And I'm sure that they would have given you a real one if they HAD a real one.

And no, I cannot believe I'm having this conversation.

TONGGINATOR: I KNOW that, Momma. And I SAID thank you.

TONGGU MOMMA: (completely exasperated now) Well then why did you throw the flowers at them?

TONGGINATOR: Well... well... my imaginary lollipop wasn't big enough. And I wanted a bigger one.

Please ignore me for a second while I bang my head against the wall.

After a few moments of self-mutilation, I parented appropriately, invoking the "if you treat them unkindly, they won't play with you" mantra. A couple of hours later, after dinner, I even stopped by One of The Horde's house to compliment her in front of her momma. Which totally thrilled her. And her momma. So much so, her momma offered up the fact that One of The Horde used to be a Tongginator in her own right. She might have been lying, but I felt better anyway.

Now where's my lollipop? And it had better be big.


Andrea said...

You handled that well. It's good for kids to work out their problems, though my youngest still runs to me!

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

I have so had almost this exact conversation!! LOL

Dawn said...

You handled that so well! I think it's so important for kids to learn to handle situations on their own - too many parents want to jump in and "fix" things for their kiddos.

And because my kids weren't involved in this story made it even more funny to me! Ha!


Kerry said...

Oh so funny. Your lil one is a spitfire huh? I am one mama who usually gets involved too early with disputes and now that mine is 5- I better start working on the solve it yourself methods! Thanks for the wonderful example.

You definitely deserve a big lollipop.

happygeek said...

Only Princess Butterfly would throw flowers.
At least it's not rocks.
Sounds like the horde handled it beautifully. So did Momma.

Jill said...

Although I am rolling on the floor laughing yet again at one of your posts....I am also DREADING the day when this happens in our household. And unfortunatley, I think Lucy might be able to give The Tongginator a run for her $ in the drama dept. It will NOT be pretty.....the ARE Jiangxi sisters after all! LOL!
Great Job Mama!
Hugs, Jill

Joan said...

Oh Thank You!!!!

I thought I was the only one having those head banging type conversations. :-)

Debbie said...

I just love stories about that girl of yours! She is a force:)

Patricia/NYC said...

I LOVE how you handled that situation!! Knowing that the T is just a few months older than the K, I know what's coming down the pike! ;)

I just bought the book "Setting Limits for the Strong Willed Child"...yup, I need some new pointers! lol!

prechrswife said...

Oh, boy...if we ever get to meet IRL, look out. I'm telling you, Tongginator, Jr. lives here. That so sounds like a conversation that might take place around here. :-)

Tammy said...

Bah ha ha ha..... aren't conversations with little ones just fantastic sometimes. I've had several like this with my Princess. And I'm sure she'll have them with hers one day (in the FAR future).

Sherri said...


It so clearly shows the mindset of daughters like ours!

Marla said...

Haha! Don't you wish you could record some of these conversations to have to share with her (embarrass her with) later? I do!

Great job handling it though. Hope your head is OK. :)

Kiy said...

Man, I bow to you! You handled that perfectly - hope your head is okay.

BTW, I left you something on my blog. Hope it helps!


Briana's Mom said...

You handled that beautifully! Hope your head feels better now after banging it so hard. :)

Polar Bear said...

I LOVE your Tongginator stories!!! They always make me smile!

By the way, I'm with her! I would have wanted the bigger lollipop, too!! :)

Ivy said...

I have to say that you are just brilliant in your postings! This one had my laughing out loud and simply entranced in your post!

The Togginator is something else, what a clever little gal, striving for big things here!

Hey by the way, we live in NJ, not far from MD! Let's get together for a playdate! I'd love to meet you all.

Happy Holidays,


PS My DH lived in VA and we have family in MD.

Heidi said...

Oh, do I feel this post. I think it's just beautiful that you encouraged everyone to solve their own problems.

Emilie said...

LOL! That is too funny. Thanks for sharing. Very entertaining!

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Awesome conversation.
It's great when kids settle their own problems, and you helped them do that!
That Tongginator, she's a jewel!

Queen B said...

Love it.

And could they not have given her a bigger lollipop...I mean, COME ON.


jen@odbt said...

Well played TM. You should have given her the rainbow eye roll too :)

Gina (Caleeo) said...

Thanks for sharing - I enjoyed it immensely! (Certainly more than you did, I am sure) Enjoy Kiy's gift!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

These type of conversations are priceless....You will be glad that you documented them here in the years to come....The Tongginator may not be happy, but you certainly will:)


Heather of the EO said...

Firstly, I'm really jealous of your neighborhood. We've got about...um...ZERO kids on our block. Lame.

And secondly, I think it's really cool that you took the time to go give a compliment.

And thirdly, I think I might want to throw flowers if I found out my lollipop was fiction :)

Debz said...

You handled that with such wisdom.

She should have told them her imaginary sucker WAS bigger than theirs....after all your imagination is "your" imagination.

Gosh I can't imagine having that many children in our neighborhood!

Jenn said...

Priceless! She's a little force to be reckoned with! Thanks for sharing.

CC said...

This sounds like MUCH better treatment than previous encounters!!!!!

And "Ai ya!" is what Professor X would say about this situation.

Kayce said...

Love it! Gotta love the minds of little ones!

Sharie said...

OMG that is SO funny! Amelia only has 2 friends in the neighborhood to play with and they are both more work than than she is:) Wish I could send her out with the horde!

Jean said...

You are so lucky to have tons of kids in your neighborhood!! How fun for the kids!! I loved your post and your blog! The tongginater sounds like she has a lot of personality!! Awesome job handling it!!

Michelle said...

She is such a riot!! And I so understand that raising of the eyebrows thing. Works like a charm. LOL

PIPO said...

Oh wow...at least I know what I'm in for a few years down the road.

Gotta love the moxie ;0)

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh, TM. You are a ROCK STAR. Seriously. I want the guts to let the neighborhood kids put BBJ in her place when they're that old. I mean, right now I want the other kids to take their toys BACK if she takes 'em...

Again, you're a rock star, mama. I am HOWLING over here. Sorry I haven't been by in a few days - it's been crazy!

Jules from "The Roost" said...

LOL That is a great story!!! :)

Janet said...

Imaginary lollipops should really be big. 'Cause what's the point of a SMALL imaginary lollipop. And while we're at it, order me up a big imaginary chocolate bar.

Colleen said...

LOL I have a Tongginator : )

Kristy said...

I am sorry for not being around lately , I was sick and then very busy, so I am looking forward to catching up on the both of you.

Love, Kristy

Peanut said...

She's quite the kid! I love how you dealt with that. Ages lucky to have you for her mommy.

Patty O. said...

That is GREAT! And I sooo admire how you handled it. I need to do that more: let the kids handle things instead of stepping in and correcting Danny all the time. I love that because the other children saying they don't want to play anymore is a natural consequence that would make a much bigger impact on the kid than mom yelling.

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

Do you laugh as hard writing your post as I do reading them???? When all was said and done~ you handled this well. Really well

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

Do you laugh as hard writing your post as I do reading them???? When all was said and done~ you handled this well. Really well

RamblingMother said...

Did you make rainbows with your eyes as tongunator told you her tale of woes? and did your eyeballs come back in place? Love the bag basket. Oh yes it is very easy to forget!

Myrnie said...

Aw Momma, your parenting style makes my day.

anymommy said...

Many things can be fixed by a bigger lollipop. Nicely done, I love your methods!

autumnesf said...


Nobody deserves a bigger lolly than you!!