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Friday, March 27, 2009

Exercise? Why?

In honor of my moronic decision to participate in this:



I am reposting a conversation I participated in about six months ago. Said conversation totally and completely explains why I believe my recent decision reflects an extreme lapse of judgment on my part. Here is A Conversation Exercise...

TM'S BRAIN: I so need to lose some weight. I can do this. I just need to get off my duff and do this. I am GOING to do this.

And so began Tonggu Momma's First Ever Attempt to Lose Those Extra Ten Pounds. While the Tongginator attended preschool yesterday morning, Tonggu Momma stepped away from the laptop, donned an embarrassingly ugly exercise outfit and headed out the door. She was a Woman On A Mission: She was going for a Walk.

TM'S LEGS: Okay, we can totally do this. This isn't so bad. It's not like this is running or anything. We ARE doing it. We are In The Zone. Oh, yeah.

TM'S BRAIN: I told y'all we could do this. We can SO do this.

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S LUNGS: Whoa... wait a minute. gasp What is up with THIS? gasp Did you remember the inhaler? wheeze

TM'S BRAIN: Shoot! I knew I forgot something. Sorry about that. But we can still do this, y'all. Just breathe slowly. And keep moving.

TM'S LUNGS: What?!?!? Oh. gasp My. gasp Gosh. wheeze

TM'S LEGS: Umm... this isn't that much fun anymore. Umm... no, definitely not fun. Can someone help us out please?

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S SIDE: Hey guys? I don't know about y'all, but I'm totally hurting over here.

TM'S BRAIN: We can DO this y'all. Come ON!!!

TM'S LUNGS: Wheezing... Wheezing here...

TM'S LEGS: You know, if SOME OF Y'ALL would help, this wouldn't feel so difficult.

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S SIDE: Legs, you know they aren't ever going to help. Where do you think all of that extra fat goes? They are the laziest ones here. I mean, I don't want to be rude, but they act like total butts.

TM'S LUNGS: Umm... Side? wheeze They ARE the butt.

TM'S BRAIN: (sigh) You know, if y'all cooperated this wouldn't feel so difficult. And no name calling!

TM'S LEGS: Well maybe if YOU'D actually made more of an effort, Brain, we wouldn't be in this fix anyway. How did you let things get so bad?

TM'S LUNGS: Y'all, can't we all just get along for once? gasp I don't want to die during an argument.

TM'S GLUTES: Wha...? (waking up rapidly) GREAT GOODNESS!!!! What IS this? Where am I? Why the heck am I... is that tingling? WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS GOING ON!!!!

TM'S LEGS: Bout time you woke up.

TM'S LUNGS: Hey there, Glutes. gasp We're exercising. wheeze

TM'S GLUTES: (long pause) But WHY?!?

TM'S SIDE: Well, I don't want to be the one to say it, but... Glutes, you've gotten fat. We have to lose ten pounds.

TM'S GLUTES: I. Want. To. Die.

TM'S LEGS: Me, too.

TM'S LUNGS: I gasp think gasp I already wheeze did.

Y'all, I totally survived, even though I didn't want to. It was the longest mile-and-a-half okay, 1.3 miles of my life. It didn't help that my neighbor Apple jogged past during the last block, smiling, waving, looking all athletic and gorgeous. When I got home, I stood on the scale.

Like I actually thought I would see a difference.


How long do I have to keep this up? I'm not sure my body can take it.

Originally posted in September, 2008.

31 comments:

bbmomof2boys said...

*wiping coffee off work computer*

So my question is - what did you do to excercise this time? Walk - RUN? (yeah, I know, not happening with this chick either)

Hugs,
Carla

Rebecca said...

My abs just got a great workout laughing at (WITH) you. :)

Jboo said...

Have also been trying to lose those sneaky 10 pounds! Why do 10 blocks feel like 10 miles?!! Keep up the good work! I'm wearing a step counter now and that seems to keep me motivated -- always want to have a higher number than the Hub! Have a fun weekend!
Janet

Rach@In His Hands said...

Haahahahahahaha! That is absolutely hilarious. You are too much, lady.

I do the scale thing sometimes too. Wholeheartedly thinking that one workout would make at least some difference. :-)

Dawn said...

LOL... literally!

You're too funny. Be blessed today!

Gina (Caleeo) said...

I once signed up for a one month "body blast" exercise class that met 5 days a week for 4 weeks. It was horrible - torturous exercise at 7am every morning with an all too perky, seriously annoying woman jumping around in the front of the room.

I blessed the day it was over.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

That was a post I will never forget.....another one of your classics!!

Keep up the good work, you will see the scale change soon:)

Lisa

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

One of my fave posts!

Andrea said...

I love the conversation you had going on. Many days I feel like that during an excercise class.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

TM'S CHEERLEADER: TM, you are going to do this successfully! Because I'm going to be on you to keep at it, on you like Paula Abdul on ... something.

Juliette said...

Sounds very similar to me at my first step lesson...I am still recovering and the 10 (closer to 20) extra pounds are still here...
Keep the good work and have a great weekend!

Carla said...

ooooh!!! This means you might be interested in joining me in my attempt to run a half marathon at Disney next March. Right?!

I mean I can't even run a block yet. :) We could totally support each other. Please? Plus you get to run in Disney World with friends! :)

Quirky Mom said...

You can do it. :) And so can your legs, abs, glutes, lungs, and brain. Just remember your inhaler next time, mkay?

Norah said...

First of all, don't you know the rule here? Never ever get on a scale unless you just woke up in the morning, used the bathroom and are completely naked. No excuses! It's the best time. Thanks for sharing that conversation though. I love it!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

OH, I know just what you mean!

Steph

Mei-Ling said...

I'm sorry... I really don't mean to come off as being insensitive, but seriously... reading this conversation again...

*is hyperventilating from trying to hold back her laughter in the computer lab*

Dorsey said...

yes, our bodies are definitely in the same frame of mind. Although my butt is more assuredly in cahoots with my "muffin top". Ugh!

GREAT post!!!

Mamatini said...

Way to go, sistah! I will say this, however. Forget the scale. I've been working out seriously for months now, trying to lose those 10 pounds. They haven't gone anywhere!!! But...I look better, I feel better, and my clothes fit better. THAT is what you should shoot for. Toss the scale!

Dita said...

I started on the treadmill yesterday and did it today...30 minutes each day and had NO idea that women all around the bloggy world were suffering with me. Thanks to you...I now know that I am not alone and I am joining you ladies.

Your post sounded like a complete replay of my mornings....

The Byrd's Nest said...

LOL....I feel your pain...I feel your pain girlfriend.

Kayce said...

I can so feel your pain. I've been having this argument with my eliptical for two months now and no matter how much I use the damn thing (which is 4-5 days a week!) I've lost a total of 2 pounds, which I gained back last weekend. Joy! Back to square one.

Janet said...

You're gonna hate me, but I love to work out. I truly do. Only problem is, I still am not thin and YOU ARE WAAAAY thinner and you don't work out. So now it's my turn to hate you. :-)

Aunt LoLo said...

Umm....yeah. Good luck with that! LOL Today, my exercise was...carrying Siu Jeun around in a front carrier while we did our Costco shopping. hehe

Elizabeth Channel said...

I keep pledging to exercise myself and this is helping me feel so convicted...snicker snicker ; )

Alyson and Ford said...

Oh, too funny! Great post. Write a book!
I only weigh myself in the morning BEFORE drinking coffee!

Alyzabeth's Mommy

Sharie said...

I always say - why run when there is no one chasing you...with a gun!

Tammy said...

You crazy thing...was somebody chasing you?! That should be the only time you pick up the pace.

I am not committing to any challenge because I know I am TOO freakin' lazy to follow through. I'd like to loose 10 pounds too.

What a shame fingers typing on the keyboard doesn't burn more calories!

Colleen said...

LOL oh you crack me up!!! I think our glutes would get a long well. I'm on a diet too. I have been on one for about 30 years...let me know what works.

anymommy said...

You're a riot - and good job getting out there. I actually love to walk, but do not ever ask me to kick it up beyond walk, anything resembling jog makes me vomit.

Patty O. said...

this is too, too funny. i need to get back into exercising, b/c unfortunately, i have way more than 10 pounds to lose. sigh.

alece said...

i hear that same dialogue every time i hang out with Gym.