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Monday, February 9, 2009

Dad Has Another Excuse to Nag

This post is part of a Q&A series. Check it out here.

Heather of the EO wrote, "Let's say you believed you could write a book (because you totally could), what would it be about? Fiction? Non-fiction? A memoir? A joke book? Politics? (Ha! That last one made me laugh to myself.)"

Definitely politics. Because, you know, I am so with-it when it comes to this topic. (And is that war over or not? Kidding, I'm kidding, y'all. Not really.)

Actually, thanks so much for saying that, Heather, but I really don't believe that is true. Less than 1% of all bloggers actually make enough money to quit their day jobs. And I'm sure even fewer rise to Published Author status. I blog because I CAN, not because I'm any good at it.

And I totally don't understand why I'm not making money from my blog. Oh wait... I don't have any ads. I forgot that small detail.

I DO feel I'm a storyteller. I've always loved telling stories (and by that, I don't mean lies). But I don't know that I have the talent to actually sit down and write a full-length book. My daddy seems to disagree. He constantly nags me about it. I can't imagine why. For some reason he doesn't understand that I find it COMPLETELY FULFILLING to eat potato chips, drink coffee and diet coke, chase after the Tongginator and type away on my blog everyday. And I totally can't imagine why.

Because all of that is So Productive. Well... except the chasing after the Tongginator part. Because it completely defeats the purpose of ingesting copious amounts of calories if I burn it all off chasing after a nearly-five-year-old.

Perhaps, in ten years time, when both little ones are not so little anymore... perhaps then I'll try. But I totally won't tell anyone I'm doing it. Because the only thing I fear more than heights?


If I DID write a book, I'd definitely go for a memoir. I feel like my life just screams out "memoir" at times. Topically, I'd choose one of two topics. (Okay, that sentence sounded so much better in my head. Do you see now why I fear writing a book?)

My first choice would probably be some kind of adoption memoir ala Karin Evans or Jeff Gammage. My second choice would be describing the epic saga of The Brunch Bunch, a group of five military families, including my own, who formed life-long friendships. None of us lived near extended family growing up, so the children of The Brunch Bunch became my cousins. And the parents? My aunts and uncles. We all met during my preschool years, lived in the same neighborhood during upper elementary and kept in touch through junior high and high school. We've been in each others' weddings, acted as godparents to each others' children and generally keep in touch as if we are family. And we only lived in the same neighborhood for three years.

It boggles the mind sometimes.

you've already met Otter and HAD... now meet the rest of the crew

These eight people are some of my most favorite people on the planet. I just wonder if I'd remain one of their favorite people if I wrote a book about them. Hmm...

Riley asked, "If you were to write a book and could pick any famous author to give the book a blurb for the front cover, who would it be?"

This question totally impressed me. If I'm honest, it terrified me, too. I'd like to share the first name that popped into my head, but I can't do that AND share the reason with you. Because the reason I thought of this author is that he shares his first and last names with my daddy, the Colonel. And... while my daddy is a total geek with all things number and science related... he also constructs sentences like said Math Geek. During his college years, my daddy's English professor repeatedly greeted him with "Ah... the great American author" whenever he saw my daddy around campus. Then the professor would burst into hysterical laughter before walking away.

So I'd totally want said Great American Author to write the blurb for the front cover of my non-existent book. Because it amuses me.

If you truly need a name, Riley, my second choice would be Pat Conroy if I wrote a memoir about my life as a military brat or Peter Hessler if I wrote about China through the eyes of an American adopting a child from China.

CC nagged a bit herself with, "When am I going to get my Christmas card from you?" and also "when you are you going to move out West?"

If y'all remember, CC met me in real life. And I totally promised to send her a Christmas card. I send them out every year and they are completely cheesy and embarrassing. Because the husband's family tends to mail out those (ahem) brag letters. And my family doesn't send out Christmas cards to save their lives. So I compromised. And every year I write a completely cheesy Christmas poem. Even more humiliating, to receive the full effect, one must sing along to that year's listed Christmas carol.

As I said, cheesy.

But CC, I totally WOULD have sent you a Christmas card this year. Despite the mortification I would feel. Except that I failed to send ANY out. So here they sit...

ready and waiting for next year's poem, which you should receive sometime in December 2009. (Sorry.)

As for moving to the West Coast... we don't rule that out as a possibility. But first the Husband's company, The Borg, needs to promote transfer him. Now... some of you may be wondering why the Husband seeks a transfer within The Borg instead of looking for a new company altogether.

Well, despite it's nickname, it's actually a great company.

You might be asking yourself, "then how did it acquire this horrible nickname?" Well... while I'm no Star Trek fan, even I know that The Borg are depicted as a superhuman race, with one collective mind, that tends to assimilate others who get in their way.

Yes. Well. Ahem.

If the Borg transfers us, we'll move out West. But it will probably be closer to where your momma lives than that lovely little town you call home.


Blogging Mom said...

Blogging must be your passion then. I guess when you find something that you truly enjoy, you will be able to spend long hours without minding the effort exerted on the task. Your work here on your blog is exceptional, and I hope you will one day fulfill your other goals. Wish you all the best!

Jennifer said...

hahahaha... the Borg. My first thought is he must work for some government agency. That would totally fit the bill.

But they don't really transfer people, they absorb them. :)

Briana's Mom said...

LOL! Well at least you have your Christmas cards purchased for next Christmas now! :)

happygeek said...

So, does the Borg have offices up here?
I truly love your 80's photos. The hair, the outfits, the truly kickin furniture. But the best so far? Your white socks slouched over black runners. Stylin!

OH MY #6 said...

Hope your Monday is a good one. The weather here promises to be fairly nice all week. Some of these mounds of snow just may reduce a little in size.


Debbie said...

That whole Christmas Card pressure is just too much, isn't it?

Aunt LoLo said...

Let me know when you DO move out to the West Coast. ;-) We'll hang out! hahaha

My FIL wants me to write a book, too - a children's book.

'cause my blog is all about catering to the kiddies. :-p

McEwens said...

you will love the west, if the borg ever transfers him

Kristy said...

I wrote a Christian Childrens Book, titled , "God made me in China", that will be published in the next two week, and if I can I know you can because you are a wonderful writer!!! I love reading your posts!!

Love, Kristy

Becky said...

My mom keeps nagging me to write a book. And I'm all, Mom, you have to use correct grammar if you wanna write a book. Just let it go, already!

Janet said...

If you write a book, make sure that you dedicate it to ME.

Mamatini said...

Yes, yes! Move out West! We need more Tongginators out here.

PIPO said...

Sassy cards. I want one AND I want you to write a short story on it! Oh, and a postmark from San Francisco would be nice.

Sharie said...

Boy can you tell a story - perhaps you should write a book of short stories rather than a novel:)

Colleen said...

So when you write a book can I get a signed copy : )

Blue said...

I was wondering why our Christmas was so cheerless this year -- no TM poem to sing by the fire and bellow over our cups. I'm fond of Easter cards too. *hint*

CC said...

So I've been putting off taking a picture of my US map until I got YOUR card (since you would be the only representative from your state that bothered to send me a card). But now that I can't even claim that... I guess I'll go ahead and take that picture. All you unrepresented states out there can hang your heads in shame. ;)