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Friday, January 9, 2009

Phobias I Want (and Don't)

My imaginary friend the Queen B reminded me that the season premier of Monk is tonight. That dude is definitely weird, which is absolutely wonderful because he makes us both feel all kinds of normal. Any guy with 38 known phobias leaves my sensory-self in the dust.

Not many people can do that.

The Queen B also informed all that the Monk website lists every phobia known to man. (She's a Big Fan. Can you tell?) She encouraged us to peruse the list and share our weirdness with the world. I followed directions, as requested, but then I got to thinking... there are some phobias listed that I might actually WANT. Because, you know, we are currently waiting to adopt from China. Now I know my desire for phobias sounds strange, but bear with me...

First there is scabiophobia (the fear of scabies). If you are adopting internationally, but don't yet know of what I speak... Ha! And ha! again. You'd better learn. And when you do learn, the phobia will arrive. I promise.

Second there is tocophobia (the fear of pregnancy and childbirth). Not exactly relevant during an adoption, but an interesting one to ponder, none the less.

Finally, there is tropophobia (the fear of moving or making changes). As China prospective adoptive parents, we've been waiting 2.5 years already. We've frozen our lives for the duration of our wait; we cannot make any major changes. Well... technically we could, but do we really want to go through the adoption paperwork hassle associated with those changes? This phobia actually aids us during our wait to adopt.

Still... there are plenty of phobias that really wouldn't work for a prospective China-adoptive parent. Of course there's always the obvious one, sinophobia (the fear of the Chinese, Chinese culture). Umm... yeah. Also, those who suffer from aviatophia (fear of flying) would quite probably chose to go the domestic route. But there are lesser known phobias that might cause some great concern during the adoption process and trip. Ones like:

vaccinophobia (the fear of vaccination)... hello Hepatitis shots!
cyclophobia (fear of bicycles)... less of an issue now, but still startling in numbers
opthalmophobia (fear of being stared at)... especially in the province capitals
enochlophobia (fear of crowds)... umm - y'all? - China is crowded

And then there are the ones that might effect you further down the line, when you are parenting your child adopted from China. Ones like:

coprophobia (fear of feces)... because children? they poop - even worse, they require assistance
erytophobia (fear of the color red)... kinda prevents your attendance at Chinese New Year parties, huh?
xenoglossophobia (the fear of foriegn languages)... goodbye Chinese school

But the one phobia that ALL China adoptive parents and waiting China adoptive parents share... the one that is most likely to chase people from the program is:

macrophobia (fear of long waits)... sigh

30 comments:

OH MY #6 said...

macrophobia, is very interesting. It wasn't apparent when we started.

Sometimes I think..what if China speeded up?! I am not ready! What kind of phobia would that be? The fear of speed up?! What a concept. I love to try it out!

Have the best day my friend.

Lea
xo

happygeek said...

You kill me with your creativity.

Colleen said...

LOL good post! Is there a fear of children? I think I am experiencing that one today : P

Debbie said...

I do love a good phobia or two! Great list.
I haven't ever watched Monk. I am afraid I would develop everything he has. What is that phobia called?

Kerry said...

I so love to read your posts- you always make me smile! Thank you for that!

I think my Hubby and I had all of those phobias at one time along the way! Still afflicted by the macrophob though! yes- long sigh.

Heather of the EO said...

I LOOOOVE MONK. Because I'm weird and he really does feel like a kindred spirit :)

You're hilarious. These are some phobias I've not been familiar with. I'm so glad I don't have too terrible of a fear of feces. I'd be in big trouble with two boys and a dog.

K and/or K said...

I dealt with the staring and crowds in Cambodia and it wasn't too bad actually. I was proud of myself.

The last one you listed...I'm overcoming it! I'll be blogging about it soon. I hope.

CC said...

I totally had tocophobia. That is until I wanted a baby. Then I was willing to face that fear, only to discover that we couldn't!

And fear of long waits... I am SO familiar with that one!

Becky said...

I think I have tropophobia in a baaaad way! It drives my travel-loving, spontaneous husband a little crazy.

And I just rented the first disc of the first season of Monk. So now I'll get to see what all the fuss is about.

T said...

it's a weird world when we're both blogging about phobias :)

and Becky - you haven't seen MONK!!! oh, you're gonna LOVE it (and if you don't, keep it to yourself, I'm afraid that I couldn't get over it)

Queen B said...

I am so proud of you! I just knew there had to be one other person on the planet that would enjoy the list as much as I did.

a little leprechaun said...

Well, I'm glad there is finally an answer! I now know I suffer from opthalmophobia. Which I was not aware of until recent travels to China. Thank you so much for sharing this priceless information.

PS - Enjoy Monk tonight!! Always makes me think of our travels over to China - they kept playing episodes from Monk.

Georgia Peach said...

Ohhhh, I love lists of phobias! Especially when I can go down the whole list and not relate to a single one! Does this mean I'm normal after all? Maybe before you answer that I should confess that I have aquaphobia, an irrational fear of water. I can't even put my head under the water in the bathtub without having a small panic attack.

Janet said...

Now that IS interesting. I have enochlophobia. I HATE crowds.

prechrswife said...

Love this post, and so, so true in so many ways!

Carrie Thompson said...

All I can say is this post if awesome! I am glad I dont have
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

that would be the fear of long words! what do doctors do when they have to tell their patients what their phobia is??? What do they tell them? How is it handled?
Is watching spelling bee's a therapy tool?

I think I have the phobia of NOT KNOWING...

Aunt LoLo said...

Lo Gung has a cousin whose Mom is from Hong Kong, and his Dad is from Utah (Caucasian). The boy was raised without any Chinese influence at all...by his own choice! Seriously - the sight of a bowl of rice made him cry.

It was pretty funny when he was asked to serve his mission in Hong Kong! (He served with me, actually. Small world!) Anyhow, now he loves all things Chinese and prefers a bowl of rice to a big mac. Fears CAN be overcome! hahahah

Briana's Mom said...

I love Monk! That is a great show!

Luckily, I don't have too many phobias. I will say I am not a big fan of making changes either. How in the world did I adopt a baby from China?! I guess my fear of never having children trumped my fear of making changes!

Brooke said...

lol @ fear of poop. i'm always busy with the princess niece needs a wiping buddy! :P

Jen said...

Who knew there were so many phobias?

PS: Tell Tongginator's Grammy that my mom is working on a list of tagalog phrases for her. Thanks!

Suzy said...

Some of my favorite moments in China were due to being the object of everyone's attention. When we went to the town Lydia's orphanage was in, people stopped and pointed TO THE VAN WE WERE RIDING IN. Imagine that. Just the sight of us riding through town drew a crowd. I enjoyed the attention we got as we shopped in YangShou (I think that's the right name) where I was given a brand new name, "Lady Pashmina." LOL. Finally,(and I saved the best for last) when a little girl saw us entering Walmart in Changsha, she looked at me, then my husband, her eyes grew HUGE, and she took a deep breath and said, "HELLO!" with such pride. You could tell she felt like she'd just met two celebrities. And I, Lady Pashmina, was very flattered to be so highly regarded in spite of my humidity bedraggled hair, sweat soaked clothes, and heat flushed cheeks.

Meredith Teagarden said...

Oh, the last one is the clincher!!!

McEwens said...

I have never seen monk, I bet there is somesort of blogger phobia too!

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Very interesting post! I so admire your patience!
What do you call fear of cleaning the bathroom? I'm afflicted with that one unfortunately.
At least that's my excuse.
:)
Becky

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Oh yeah....Macrophobia....I think we all have that at this point!!

I got itchy just reading about scabiophobia......

TGIF...have a great weekend!!

Lisa

Jamie said...

I LOVE Monk. He is just so crusty and weird, what's not to love?

Fear of long waits... well, I don't blame you.

Carla said...

LOL!!! I think I should probably NOT read that link. Yeah...not going to click. I wonder if there is a phobia named for not wanting to click links for fear of what you'll find out about yourself.

Kiy said...

I am also a big Monk fan. Thank goodness for DVR's. Oh, and the whole making major changes? We moved, twice. And one was an international move. Yeah, those were fun hoops to jump through.

Cheers, hope you get to watch Monk. I love him too. Makes me feel almost normal!

Kiy

Heather said...

Great post! You always seem to come up with the neatest posts.

My husband & I (fortunately) did not have macrophobia when adopting our little Zoe. Our wait time from LID until Gotcha Day was exactly 10 months (March 2004-January 2005). I cannot imagine having to wait like most of you are.

Sure wish things would speed up. There are just too many children waiting to join their forever families.

Quirky Mom said...

Funny!!

My newest Monk is waiting for me on my DVR. I can't wait! He makes me feel normal, too. :)