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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I Deserved a DWC

Y'all, I totally deserved a ticket from a police officer yesterday. Yep, I deserved a DWC, no question about it. Fortunately for me, however, no police officers ventured near my path on the way to and from the Tongginator's school, nor even during my quick foray to Target. I was a bit of a menace on the roads, but I managed to survive, plus - and probably more importantly - I did not maim anyone in the process.

So that's always good.

Now I know some of you more anal friends might be stuck back a few sentences at the DWC. You are rightfully confused and wondering if I meant to type the now defunct DWI or the more modern DUI. Actually, it's neither. I truly did mean DWC. Because that's exactly what I was doing yesterday...

Driving While Crying.

And it wasn't pretty, what with my red, drippy nose and my splotchy face, my pathetic facial expressions and my scary "I couldn't care less" hair and outfit. I managed to disguise my snuffling as a particularly tone-deaf version of a Toby Mac song while the Tongginator rode in the car with me. She didn't have a clue. I can't say the same for all of those poor SUV drivers who had the misfortune to sit alongside me at various stoplights.

I wonder if they prayed for me or thought, "ewww... scary hair."

I hope they prayed.

I made it in and out of the Tongginator's school with little drama, although I did have to share the news about Rosie with the Tongginator's teachers. You see, not only is the Tongginator in their Pre-K class, so is Rosie's nephew. Double ouch for them. And how exactly do you gently say, "Rosie is not going to last much longer. I thought you should know, in case the children have a tough year month week day."

Target was a different story. I went there expressly to purchase supplies for Ring, the twins and their extended family. Because we all know that houses at funeral time become as crowded as a mall on Black Friday. Most people bring food, y'all. And that's a good thing.

But I bring toilet paper.

Because a momma of two young children dying is particularly septic in my book. Wait a minute... what did you think I was gonna say?

I stood there, with my pile of paper plates, trash bags, paper towels and hand soap... with my toilet paper and my Cascade... I stood there, looking at the tissues. And I started crying because I knew they were going to need those tissues. And tissues are never a gift you want to give someone.

Not ever.

But I did it. Because they needed them. And I ignored all of the people looking at me like I was a crazy homeless person. Because - to be fair to them - I probably looked like a crazy homeless person.

I learned something yesterday. Something important, that God really, truly wanted to teach me. Giving what you want to give isn't always the right thing to do. Sometimes you have to give something to a family that you wish - you truly, down on your knees, begging God - wish they didn't need. Sometimes you have to listen to God and do something that is very painful.

Sometimes you have to give them tissues. And toilet paper.

Because cancer is really, really septic.

41 comments:

Georgia Peach said...

Ever find yourself in a position where your heart hurts for someone and your mind really wants to say something that will help ...only to draw back and realize that for once no words are coming to mind? Just a blank, clean slate of empty chalkboard is all I can conjure up.

I wish I could comfort you, but all I can offer is this blank chalkboard with no words on it. This situation is too big for words.

I am regularly praying for Rosie. I will confess that this kind of praying is hard work. I can identify with her as a woman and a wife and as a mother - and my heart breaks for this family. I promise to faithfully take my place alongside you, and countless others, to lift up Rosie and her family.

Big, Big Hug!
Peach

Stonefox (otherwise known as Heidi) said...

TM, this is so sad. I am praying for Rosie, her family, and yours. I hope you feel our blog love and prayers this day.

The Byrd's Nest said...

I wish I lived closer to you to give you big hugs and let you cry and cry and cry. XXXOOO

Aunt LoLo said...

I think your gift was perfect. Let other people bring the potatoes, jell-o salad, spaghetti casserole and bags of rolls. You know what is needed, and your heart was touched to take just that. They'll remember that.

Still praying for you, yours, and Rosie...and all of hers. I hope Tonggu LoGung comes home soon!

000X, Aunt LoLo

Peanut said...

TM I am so so sorry. What can be said to offer you comfort? I only know what I prayed over and over when we recently lost our friend to cancer, "Lord Jesus, give them comfort. Carry them in your arms Jesus. Give them your peace."
These are hard days and many more ahead, unfortunately. Why it all happens at once, I'm not sure. I hope you are offering yourself grace at this time.
You and Rosie's family are in my heart and prayers at this time.
*hugs*

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I am crying now....I don't know how you are doing it, but you are....and you are AMAZING!!

I continue to pray for Rosie and hope that she will be able to let go peacefully when God is ready for her!

Hugs and Prayers coming your way!!

Lisa

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

I was so saddened to read this post. But they are so blessed to have you as their friend. As hard as it is, Rosie is being healed. Just not in the way we earthly beings would like it to happen.
Prayers for her husband and children.

Briana's Mom said...

I am so, so sorry. Hugs...

Rebecca Ramsey said...

I am praying for you and for Rosie and her family. And I'm also thanking God for giving her friends like you.

jennifer said...

What a blessing you must be to this family. I am so sorry.

Ada said...

I'm so sorry

Ada

Patricia/NYC said...

I'm so, so sorry...this is so heartbreaking, but you are such a wonderful friend & blessing to the family. My prayers continue...

McEwens said...

Oh TM.... I am so sorry to hear ROsie is not doing well, and it isnt looking good at all... ((HUG)))
You are a wonderful instrument in the Lords hands, it si so hard to do things we dont want to do....
(((HUGS AGAIN))))

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

My friend I pray that these words find a way to comfort you ~ you are loved and because of this love I am hurting along with you. Cry as much as you need for as long as you need and as hard as you need. We are here to hold you up.
God, please draw near to my friend today, hold her close and offer the comfort that only you can.

Hugs,

Krista

Lisa said...

Oh my, TM. That is really heartbreaking to read. I'm so sorry. So sorry especially for your dear friends. I'll continue to pray.

Suzie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Rosie. I have been praying for her and will continue to do so. Cancer sucks.

You are a wonderful friend and her family is so lucky to have you in their lives. Even if it to bring them tp and tissues.

CC said...

My heart aches for you and for this family and for everyone affected by this awful disease :(

goodfountain said...

I'm so sorry, TM. Many hugs for your family and theirs.

The Source said...

I'm so, so sorry about Rosie. And I'm sorry for your pain on behalf of your dear friend. You're all in my prayers, every one of you, right down to the preschool teachers and the people in Target. (You made me stop and think...we never know what someone else may be going through when we happen to see them in a store or at a traffic light, and shouldn't be quick to make judgements.) All our love to you and Rosie.

Joan said...

God bless you. My prayers are with you and your family and with Rosie and her family. Cancer sucks. I was 8 when my mom died from cancer. I am sure lots of people helped my dad but I remember his sister the most. She went outside the expected and that stuck with me.

Janet said...

Oh, TM. I am so sorry. I have no words. I am crying right along with this post. I am praying for all of you. Praying hard.

Shawnstribe said...

TM....you know me.....i'm ready for a BIG HUG!!!!!
xxx
s

Patty O. said...

I'm sorry. I guess there isn't much more to say than that. I don't really know who Rosie is, besides being your friend, but I am crying for her and her family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

missy said...

Loads of hugs and prayer are being sent up about Rosie and her family and your family, too!

It is so, so sad.

Special K said...

Hugs. Just hugs....

PIPO said...

I'm so sorry. Yes, it is. Septic, toxic, horrid.

Sharie said...

You brought me tears again.
God bless you for knowing what your friends need and not being afraid to give it to them!

Carla said...

Oh how my heart is hurting for you and your friends. Really and truly hurting.

It really brings back memories of when my aunt passed away with 2 kids (9 & 11) from a brain tumor. Awful awful times. You are right though...everyone brought food. Paper plates, napkins, toilet paper, and tissues were more needed at that point.

*sob*

Praying for you all.

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry for. For them, for you, for everyone involved. So very sorry.

I once was pulled over for DWC. It was right after my Mom died. I'm not sure what warranted me big pulled over, but I was hysterical and the police officer was not empathetic. at. all. At one point while he was questioning me as to whether or not I had been drinking I turned to him and shouted "Are you going to give me a ticket or not? Because right now I really just want to be left alone to cry in peace and you are only making the situation worse by asking me all these questions!!!!" I honestly don't even remember what he said after that besides "I'm going to let you off with a warning this time".

What a nice man he was.

Not.

Rosie and her family will be in my prayers.

Heather of the EO said...

Holy cow, this just totally stinks. I'm so sorry.

I want you to know that your gift from Target is so perfect. So simple and so heartfelt and so pure and so true and just plain shows your servant's heart. How's that for a run-on sentence.

Peace,
Heather

Monica said...

My heart is with you. I am so glad that you and the Tonginator have such wonderful friends stepping in and being there for you.

My prayers are with Rosie and her family and with your Father-in-law.

Debz said...

Sending up prayers for Rosie and her family and for you an yours as well.

Your right cancer is septic.
Tissue-check
Tiolet paper-check
Plunger-

Romans 15:13

Debz said...

Ps. Praise report to cheer you a little maybe....my BIL had his surgery today and they think they got all the cancer this time!!! Your the first to know...miracles do still happen.
Praying for one for Rosie.

Meredith Teagarden said...

I am so, so sorry to hear of this. I do not even know these folk and you have me in tears.

What you brought was a really thoughtful ting to bring. I will remember this, and hope I never need to use it....
You had me at DWC. You gave me CWR (crying while reading. Sending you a big (((((((hug))))))).

Paul and Chelsea Gour said...

The Gours are keeping you and your neighbors in our prayers this week. I know it will be a hard one and there is nothing that will make it easier. But we will pray for peace and understanding.

Mary said...

Stinks. Just stinks. But you are a great friend. You thought of 'the small stuff', which really isn't small at all. Kudos to you. Cry. Let it out.
I will pray for you, Ring, Rosie and the twins that God may wrap them all in warmth, love and peace.

prechrswife said...

So, so sorry... (((((Hugs))))) and prayers... There really are no words for a time like this.

No Mother Earth said...

Oh man, whether you wanted to or not, that was the best present you could have given. That, and a shoulder to cry on.

Cheri H said...

Having worked with cancer patients for five years I've seen what you are going through and what Rosie's family is going through. Hugs for you and prays are being sent out.

kia (good enough mama) said...

You are beautiful. Tears, ratty hair, and all. How wonderfully thoughtful of you to give this hurting family something that you hate that they need, but know that they need. I'm so sorry for you, for Rosie's family, and for everyone who loved her. Cancer is awful.

Take care. I'll be thinking about you and Rosie's family.

Doug and Terrye said...

What a wonderful blessing you must have been to them. I remember when my MIL passed away, I had to stop everything and go buy paper goods.
Remember that we will grieve..."but we do not grieve as those who have no hope."

We serve a faithful God Psalm 36:5-11.
Terrye in FL