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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Bullets of Humiliation

Alright, y'all... I am bringing out the trusty bullets because I deviated from my typical blogging routine yesterday due to an incredibly red face. When the Husband mentioned my need to write this story on the night in question (Sept. 27), I shot him my infamous Death Glare; however, after nearly two weeks of distance, I thought I could handle it if the Husband wrote it.

I. Was. Wrong.

I remain mortified, especially after seeing it in black-and-white, although y'alls comments DID help. And I truly don't mind you laughing about it... I would be laughing, too, if it wasn't me. Someday I'll get over it. I mean, if I can laugh at myself about these tremendously embarrassing moments (although I totally need a new list because this now ranks #1)... if I can laugh about the Husband's near-death experience... if I can laugh at the many Tongginator antics I deal with daily... then eventually I will learn to laugh at this.

I couldn't bring myself to answer y'alls many comments via e-mail yesterday. I know that I typically do (so if I don't have your email address, send it to me), but I so needed to step away from the blogging world and pretend I wasn't splashed naked and bare across the blogosphere. I decided, instead, to get it all over with in a barrage of bullets today.

Because that's how I feel -- like I am standing amid a field of whizzing bullets. Thank goodness y'all aren't the ones shooting off the guns. No... that honor belongs solely to yours truly. And possibly my momma.
  • Alas, Ozimum and Kia, my bra and panties did not match. They might have even been a little... er... worn and possibly granny looking. I blame that on the Tongginator and her Tremendous Fear of the mannequins who live in lingerie stores. Also... it's not swimsuit season. If you need more clarification as to why that fact was important, read Beachy Mimi's post here, because I simply can't bring myself to explain further.
  • Monica, you are absolutely correct. I totally and complete owe the Husband. Big Time. And yes, y'all, Tonggu Daddy does ROCK.
  • Georgia Peach and discombobulated, my friends in real life, may or may not continue to be my friends in real life. (I'm kidding, y'all. And I say this not because of their comments, but because I may no longer be able to look them in the eye, I feel so embarrassed.)
  • To the mommas of toddlers and preschoolers everywhere (oh, those little ones with tiny hands that are now able to turn doorknobs)... be grateful that TMH shared this story with you because to be forewarned is to be fore-dressed.
  • I am scarred for life. Unfortunately, I believe "the teenager" is also scarred for life, through no fault of his own. He actually handled the entire situation with much greater maturity than I managed.
  • The entire "peek" lasted less than 30 seconds. Yes, I moved fast y'all... once I realized. The Husband and I were late because I spent the better part of 10 minutes hiding in the laundry room, trying to summon the courage to face said teenager, then an additional three minutes first apologizing, then pretending it never happened.
  • Donna, I seriously wish the story involved vomit instead. Although... perhaps it did in addition to the nakedness. The teenager may or may not have vomited at some point during the evening as a result of what actually DID occur.
  • Soliloquy -- I just knew someone would mention my previous laundry story. I know, I know. You are so, so right. Still, I'd like a vote as to which story is more embarrassing: mine or yours? (Yes, I am all about pointing fingers and distracting. Mature, I know.)
  • Carla, you completely deserve a seat at the Husband's enginerd table. I have no idea what he meant by all of those side comments - except for the Hindenburg because who DOESN'T know about that? - but you know. Therefore, you deserve a seat at the table.
  • Amie is now one of my all-time favorite people. I love her. Read her comment to see why.
To all y'all... I am so, so glad that the Husband and I helped bring a little large amount of laughter to your day yesterday. I also cannot help but recall one of one of my favorite Scriptures: Proverbs 31:25. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come.

Strength and dignity are about all I had on that day. I also enjoy laughing at the days to come; plus, I have the added benefit of knowing that I - eventually - will be able to laugh about even this IN the days to come.


Peanut said...

Haha! I forgot that bras and panties could match... I'm hot like that!
I have a preschooler and will consider myself warned (I've also been reading a lot about the use of maxi pads as stickers... I'm pretty sure I've got some red-faced days ahead of me!)
Thank you TM and TMH for a good laugh!

Georgia Peach said...

hee hee....welcome back from laundry mountain.

Thanks for the reminder to lock the door whenever Papple is around.

McEwens said...

We all have those moments, ALL of us! If people say they didnt.. they are just kidding!

So TM come on out of the laundry room.... come back and play! No one here cares if your bra and panties match

Misty said...

your story was pretty funny, tho i think i might have hurt with you in the being so embarrassed part. i'd have died. and i love that verse so much. it's very grounding, no?

trina said...

I'm embarrassed to say that I totally understand. Same thing happened to me but the "viewer" was my father-in-law!! And yes we all pretended it didn't happen...ugh. :) The worse day ever...

Carla said...

One day you'll laugh about this..just like I can ALMOST laugh about "tooting" in front of my boyfriend when I was 15. I was sitting on the ladder of his pool, he was in the water right below me.

Yeah...good times.

and to know Von Braun rockets, watch October Sky. ;) Von Braun is who helped developed the rockets that carried our astronauts into space. Most crashed spectacularly when tested. Remember, I have a space obsessed child. We've read "Failure is Not an Option" about the space program and have all the "From the Earth to the Moon" and "The Right Stuff" and "Mercury something or other" and "NASA something or other" all on DVD. JM watches them in the van. A LOT.

then there is another reason I know...and it's that I'm married to an Enginerd. ;)

Lanxi said...

Man, I step away for a few minutes, and look at all I miss. Aren't you glad to have such friends who will empathize - okay, really - just laugh - at your moment of great embarrassment?

Beverly said...

yes yes you will be able to laugh at this. and I am sure the teenage boy is not as scarred as you think, though the song Mrs. Robinson is playing in the background! bawhahahaha oh sorry it is making me laugh all over again, with you though not at you!

The Byrd's Nest said...

I can't believe I have never been to your blog before! I feel so bad laughing but you do have to admit you are a good writer!!!

On the other hand, I feel so terrible for you but this would TOTALLY be something I would do!!!

Debz said...

Ok OK! That just might beat my husband running around the hotel parking lot in his boxers with a severly sunburnt chest laying across the cooled shaded engine bonnets of cars in Santa Barbra a couple of weeks ago. Only cause I think I was the only one who seen him ;O)
.....lol he tried the stucco wall of the hotel and learned quickly that it wouldn't help....where's a cactus when you need one...lol
Ok I better stop before I trail on too much....I should blog about that now that I think about it.

If there is ever an award for the funniest blog. You'll win hands down...I'll see to it!

Beck said...

Hee. But I think almost everyone has a deeply embarrassing story like that, which is why I think they are SO funny.

Jennifer said...

I am enjoying your blog more and more everyday!


Jill said...

I am truly rolling on the floor with laughter my friend! Not because of what happened (which I am so sorry to say I could see happening to me) but because of your awesome response! I am very impressed! Cheers!!

Shannon @ Silver Trappings said...

Oh, that is absolutely hysterical!!!! Thanks TD for the laugh - that was a wonderful first post! TM - I'm sorry for your embarrasment, but I am still laughing - absolutely hysterical!


Janet said...

I am so sorry for you. Snort. I really am. Giggle. I just....hiccup.....can't explain how badly I feel for you....tee hee. It's just that....you probably look great in your undies! So....teenager probably wasn't puking. But he may have a new crush....;-)

(Seriously, I feel your pain. I would have died.)

Rachel Marie said...

Wow- honestly I laughed when I read who says laundry isn't fun, but I am mortified for you at the same time. I mean who doesn't do that??? I run down to the laundry room scantily clad all the time. No more- I will wear my robe from now on!! Thank you for possibly saving oodles of us from such a scary experience!