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Friday, September 12, 2008

A Conversation Exercise

TM'S BRAIN: I so need to lose some weight. I can do this. I just need to get off my duff and do this. I am GOING to do this.

And so began Tonggu Momma's First Ever Attempt to Lose Those Extra Ten Pounds. While the Tongginator attended preschool yesterday morning, Tonggu Momma stepped away from the laptop, donned an embarrassingly ugly exercise outfit and headed out the door. She was a Woman On A Mission: She was going for a Walk.

TM'S LEGS: Okay, we can totally do this. This isn't so bad. It's not like this is running or anything. We ARE doing it. We are In The Zone. Oh, yeah.

TM'S BRAIN: I told y'all we could do this. We can SO do this.

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S LUNGS: Whoa... wait a minute. gasp What is up with THIS? gasp Did you remember the inhaler? wheeze

TM'S BRAIN: Shoot! I knew I forgot something. Sorry about that. But we can still do this, y'all. Just breathe slowly. And keep moving.

TM'S LUNGS: What?!?!? Oh. gasp My. gasp Gosh. wheeze

TM'S LEGS: Umm... this isn't that much fun anymore. Umm... no, definitely not fun. Can someone help us out please?

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S SIDE: Hey guys? I don't know about y'all, but I'm totally hurting over here.

TM'S BRAIN: We can DO this y'all. Come ON!!!

TM'S LUNGS: Wheezing... Wheezing here...

TM'S LEGS: You know, if SOME OF Y'ALL would help, this wouldn't feel so difficult.

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S SIDE: Legs, you know they aren't ever going to help. Where do you think all of that extra fat goes? They are the laziest ones here. I mean, I don't want to be rude, but they act like total butts.

TM'S LUNGS: Umm... Side? wheeze They ARE the butt.

TM'S BRAIN: (sigh) You know, if y'all cooperated this wouldn't feel so difficult. And no name calling!

TM'S LEGS: Well maybe if YOU'D actually made more of an effort, Brain, we wouldn't be in this fix anyway. How did you let things get so bad?

TM'S LUNGS: Y'all, can't we all just get along for once? gasp I don't want to die during an argument.

TM'S GLUTES: Wha...? (waking up rapidly) GREAT GOODNESS!!!! What IS this? Where am I? Why the heck am I... is that tingling? WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS GOING ON!!!!

TM'S LEGS: Bout time you woke up.

TM'S LUNGS: Hey there, Glutes. gasp We're exercising. wheeze

TM'S GLUTES: (long pause) But WHY?!?

TM'S SIDE: Well, I don't want to be the one to say it, but... Glutes, you've gotten fat. We have to lose ten pounds.

TM'S GLUTES: I. Want. To. Die.

TM'S LEGS: Me, too.

TM'S LUNGS: I gasp think gasp I already wheeze did.

Y'all, I totally survived, even though I didn't want to. It was the longest mile-and-a-half okay, 1.3 miles of my life. It didn't help that my neighbor Apple jogged past during the last block, smiling, waving, looking all athletic and gorgeous. When I got home, I stood on the scale.

Like I actually thought I would see a difference.

How long do I have to keep this up? I'm not sure my body can take it.


Georgia Peach said...


(wheezing while laughing)

I get annoyed if I have to walk to the mailbox so I'm totally impressed.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Keep up the good work!!!

It will pay off soon....it is not easy, but don't give up..as we all know, changes like these don't happen overnight!!

You had me in hysterics yet again!

I need to get back to working out too...especially before the Holiday season..I can feel the extra 10 lbs already!


Stefanie said...

AHAHAHA! I have SO been there... SO many times. Good for you, the first day is out of the way.
Now you're making me feel the need to get back on that workout train, too. Argh, I really don't like working out and I thought once I had 8 kids it was a built in excuse NOT to have to, but my thighs and jelly belly aren't buying it.
Thanks for the giggle :)

redmaryjanes said...

I wished we lived close to each other, I'd get out there and walk with you.
I need to shed some poundage too.
Love the dialog!

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

That's priceless! I'd have to add in my sore feet, though....

The Source said...

That's too funny! But exactly how it feels! I had to break down and join the Family Y...and take all the kids with me...to jump start my butt. It's a lot easier when the kids are begging to go to Tae Kwon Do or Cardio Kids. What mom can say no to the kids wanting to exercise? Ha ha ha. Hang in there.

McEwens said...

I feel your pain! Did you go again today???? Good for you! I think I need to go do the same.. oh wait, it is raining.. monday sounds like a good day to go!

Anonymous said...

Oh my lands that was hysterical.

Good luck sista! Before you know you'll be going the whole 1.5... ;)

a Tonggu Momma said...

Pam (mcewens) -- thankfully, no, I did not venture forth today. Because... it is raining this morning. Praise the Lord!!!! But I will be going again soon. grumble wheeze grumble

Becoming Me said...


Heather of the EO said...

Hey, at least you're trying! I'm just sticking to the laptop... so very very naughty.

Briana's Mom said...

You can do it! That is funny stuff!

Debz said...

LOL! so did you make it to the mailbox???? LOL!


Good for you you can do it!
3 years ago I started roller blading (plug your glutes ears)and quite seriously I mad it to the end of the drive way the first time I went out and each time I went I got a little farther. Now zooooooooom zeeeee yup that was me just zipping by your house! You'll get better each time to. You go girl!

Peanut said...

I'm so jealous of the people who love to exercise and look good doing it! Me? I spend all day trying to force myself through my exercise routine, looking glamourous in my jammies and hair tied up... still waiting to shower because I told myself I couldn't shower until after my exercises.
But I must admit, they are paying off, slowly.
Good luck to you! (And your legs, lungs, glutes, sides, and brain)
Thanks for the side-splitting laugh!

Michelle said...

Go TM!!! You can do it...no matter what your body parts are
telling you. lol!

Have a great week-end!!!

Janet said...

Sounds like the conversations I have with my kids! LOL!!!

Michelle said...

You are too funny!! Only you would think of this. Well at least you got off your duff and DID IT!!! I have only been thinking about it, so A++ for you!!

Beachy Mimi said...

Oh, TM, the pain, the agony. Hilariously funny post. My body parts would be dead from shock

CC said...

hahahaha!! I totally can "cut back" for one day and except a difference on the scale the next morning. I'm insulted when there is no difference.

Remember, weight only 1st thing in the morning. After you use the bathroom, before you eat. Must be naked. That is the best way to be "happier" with your weight. ;)

McEwens said...

TM, you are TOO funny! If you want to know the PROPER way to weigh your self, look on the side bar of my blog!!
PS I sent you an email

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

I have to stop readding your blogs while at work. I was laughing out loud and not concealing it well. You are a scream!!! and this was priceless. I am proud of you!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Special K said...

I think I just peed my pants a little....

PS. Make sure when you weigh you follow all the things CC said above....and also lift your toes and lean forward a little. Takes off half a pound every time. :P

Steffie B. said...

OMW.....I am laughing HYSTERICALLY! That was great....you made my night...so glad I stopped by! ;)

prechrswife said...

That is hilarious!

missy said...

You go girl and tell Apple to kiss it : ) Just kidding...well, not really!

I am proud of you.

I think I lost a pound just by laughing at your post : )

Anonymous said...

Too funny, and all too close to home!

Mechelle said...

Don't listen. You can do this! Keep going. The hardest step is the one out the door. m

Stonefox (otherwise known as Heidi) said...

Too funny! Keep it up, those glutes will be happy when they start getting the attention they deserve! Haha!

Tonggu Momma Husband said...

TM is too hard on herself ... her glutes are niiiiiice. In fact, she may argue they get too much attention already, but I'm not bitter.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I can't believe you just posted that. Oh. How. Embarrassing.

Daniella said...

that was funny. Starting out is always easy - it's the keeping it up that gets me.

kia (good enough mama) said...

Extra "ten" pounds? TEN? That's it? I don't think I can be your friend any more. Sorry. It's been a slice, really, but I can't do it.

I jest. I jest.