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Saturday, August 9, 2008

0pening Ceremonies

Y'all, we just loved watching the 0pening Ceremonies last night. Well, the Husband and I watched the show... the Tongginator fell asleep on the couch about halfway through the show.

Hey, we tried.

But what a world coming out party for China! Last night's extravaganza may well be the best of the best. I once thought nothing could top Barcelona's archer lighting the 0lympic Torch in 1992.

I was wrong.

What a gorgeous display of artistry, athleticism, ingenuity, traditional and modern Chinese culture. The Husband and I loved watching every second of the show. And trust the Chinese to make a BIG statement. The 0pening Ceremony is supposed to be a spectacle and, goodness, was it ever.

As for the parade of nations... THAT was a different spectacle altogether. Now, I'm not one to say much about fashion. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't have much room to talk.

But, y'all, I can not hold my tongue.

I saw enough piping and embroidered crests to sink a small boat yacht. Many of the countries, including the United States, might well have sent their athletes to a sailing club rather than the 0pening Ceremonies for the 0lympics. And the Aussies arrived wearing track suits. Y'all, I love Australia, I truly do, but I draw the line at track suits.

I feel the need to pass out a few medals for worst dressed, but that would be mean. So I'll restrain myself and only award those who stood out in a good way... in my opinion, at least.

First, though, a few words of sympathy from Tonggu Momma. To the Ukranians: I'm so very sorry that the person in charge of your costume selection watched too many Ikea commercials. I know those are the colors of your flag... and your flag is beautiful, y'all... but have you ever heard the phrase "too much of a good thing?" Ahem.

To the Chinese: You hosted a wonderful party, y'all, so if you want to wear shirts found buried in the costume trailer of Saturday Night Fever, you go right ahead. You looked wonderful anyway.

And to the female athletes of Hungary: Your beaming faces thoroughly distracted from that hideous floral display, so no worries. Everyone will remember your smiles and forget that fabric.

I'd also like to give props (pun alert!) to both Portugal and Japan for their signs and flags, respectively. Portugal distracted thoroughly from their outfits by carrying vibrant signs proclaiming their country using both our alphabet and Mandarin characters. Japan followed the crowd, looking as if they'd recently joined a yachting club, but they also waved the Chinese flag alongside their own national flag. It was a touching overture of friendship from a historical enemy of China.

On to the medals...

The bronze goes to Poland, whose female athletes arrived wearing bridesmaid dresses, but at least they were beautiful ones.

The silver med@list in Tonggu Momma's fashion 0lympics was Croatia, a tiny little country showing a large sense of style. Their outfits are not exactly to my taste, but I did feel they stood out, as they looked very modern, albeit a tad square.

And the gold med@l goes to... Sweden! Because the Swedes looked good, y'all. And they honored the host country with their choice. What brilliant person chose qi pao styled tunics?

Y'all enjoy the 0lympics now.


Briana's Mom said...

The opening ceremonies were absolutely amazing. Just beautiful!

I agree - I thought no one could top the archer, but I think it happened!

Love your fashion commentary!

Growin' with it! said...

oh you're killin' me. i couldn't last that long. i fell asleep with a smile and pondering heart at such a phenominal ceremony...incredible. and i totally missed the whole parade..boo hoo. so i was very glad to get caught up on all the fashion tidbits here. cute one!

and btw...what a fabulous glimpse of the culture on this incredible country, don'tcha think?

Lisa and Tate said...

SOOOOO FUNNY!!! I am like at work trying to blog and do work discretely and I read this... I am busting a gut and busting the fact that I am blog surfing.... Tear of bgut busting laughter here.


Kathryn said...

I like your fashion commentary!!!! I love the bridesmaid dresses the best, toooo funny. Thanks for the kind words on my blog!!!!

Beachy Mimi said...

I didn't realize that I was so geographically ignorant. I had never heard of some of those countries. Your fashion commentary is right on! Some of the costumes were designed by people who obviously didn't make the cut and were mad.

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh, goodness...the COSTUMES. I think i paid extra attention to them because the Project Runway challenge last week was to design a costume for the Americans to wear to the Opening Ceremony. I SWEAR some of the other countries lifted some of those weirdo designs from the show!

One more thing...and I'm sorry I just HAVE to bring this up - EVERYBODY was waving Chinese flags. Little chinese flags stapled on little wooden dowels. Everybody's flags looked awesome...except for the little earthquake survivor's flag! Out of the THOUSANDS of flags on the floor that night, why did he have to get the ONLY one that was stapled to the dowel UPSIDE DOWN?! Lo Gung noticed it first and said, "ooh...SOMEBODY is going to get into trouble for that." Yao Ming carried him through the procession and he was waving his little flag. It looked a little better when he hung it over his shoulder and didn't move it. He was SO so so cute, though.

Michelle said...

So funny!! What a good fashion review. You are going to put J*oan & Mel*issa out of business. Oh, wait... I think they already are.

mommy24treasures said...

we enjoyed the show SO much. Amazing how much love we feel for this country. It is a piece of our daughter...
I love all of your last few posts on the Olympics:)

Alyson & Ford said...

Thank you for showing Sweden's outfit - yes, I like it very much. Perfect!

We have the TV on constantly watching live and repeats of the games.

Alyson LID 01/27/06

missy said...

Bwaahhh hahahaha! I am about cracking up. Your commentary is among the best I have read yet. I agree with Michelle, watch out Joan and Melissa.

I was so proud of China. They don't do anything little.

You are a riot, my friend!

Rochelle said...

Rofl!!! I thought the same thing!! You typed what I was thinking!! LOL!! Hehehehe!!

Janet said...

WHAT ABOUT CANADA????? Where is Canada? DId I mention Canada?

Chris and Deb said...

Your clothing commentary cracked me up!! LOL! As for the ceremonies.....not sure any country will ever top that! It was absolutely spectacular!

Amrita said...

Enjoyed watching the party.
Love your comments on the dresses.

the females on our team did not look pleasing either....went up dressed like casual shoppers.

discombobulated said...

you kill me.
confession: I have never seen an opening ceremony. Ever.