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Monday, July 28, 2008

Cookie Dough Madness

Y'all, talent just runs in this family. It truly does.

I never thought another family story could ever approach the amazingness of our nephew, the County Grouch, but this one may possibly come close. Unfortunately, the unplanned nature of the event precluded any photographic evidence. Plus, I wasn't there.

But I totally interviewed the Major Players.

So you'll have to take my their word for it.

First, I need to explain that my newphew 100Grand posesses a Big Personality, so he tends to Make A Name For Himself wherever he goes. Several years ago, during a district-wide church event, my sister KitKat stood up in the sanctuary during a parenting Q&A session, announcing, "I am the mother of THAT child." Everyone in the room - all 500 of them, stranger and friend alike - broke into laughter because they all knew exactly to whom my sister referred.


So last Wednesday night's activities shouldn't have caused any shock, although I suppose parental shock only fades rather than completely disappears, even when one is the mother of an infamous THAT child. That Wednesday, KitKat and her family of six attended their local church's Vacation Bible School. Every night, after lessons, the congregation gathered together in their multipurpose room for contests, games and an all-around Slime Fest.

And Wednesday night?

Wednesday night was the Cookie Dough Eating Contest.

Can you guess where this story is headed?

Yes, eight-year-old 100Grand - remaining true to form - begged to join the participants on stage, which included two excited teenagers and one adult who experienced the volun-told phemonmena common at my sister's church. 100Grand eagerly awaited the start of the competition. My sister KitKat, occupied with a second-grade VBS class as well as her five-month-old, didn't notice his contest participation until the chanting grew to a fever pitch.

"100Grand! 100Grand! 100Grand!"

Well, they didn't actually shout out the name of a candy bar, but you get the picture...

My sister moved in slow motion as the crowd parted like the Red Sea, allowing her a better view of the stage. And then she saw him... her THAT child... 100Grand.

He stood center stage, rapidly downing a roll of pre-packaged cookie dough. He completely beat out the competition because he squished out the dough and chomped on it as if he ate a freezer pop. He left everyone in the dust crumbs.

And the crowd rewarded him.

"100Grand! 100Grand! 100Grand!"

He Totally Won the competition. Then he posed like The Incredible Hulk, walking around the stage showing off his eight-year-old muscle man contortions. The two teenagers and even the volun-told adult showed good sportmanship, but one could tell it totally shamed them to lose to such a youngster.

And the crowd continued to chant.

"100Grand! 100Grand! 100Grand!"

My sister KitKat told me later, "I had visions of college that were really scary. I only hope his Future Activities continue to involve cookie dough, instead of kegs."

One can only pray...


Janet said...

Oh dear me! I can only imagine. I would THROW up if I ate that much cookie dough. That's pretty disgusting. Still, if he could get on the college "Cookie Dough Eating Team", he might get a scholarship.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Way to go 100Grand!!!

Too funny....I am sure his stomach felt a little upset after eating that much cookie dough..ugh!!!

Yes......I have visions of a beer funnel contest in his future college days!!!


Briana's Mom said...

I am definitely praying. LOL!

Cheri H said...

Oh man, if I was his mama I think I might have to be his RA at college! LOL

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

Whooo Hooooo!!!!!

prechrswife said...

You have very "talented" nephews. :-)