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Saturday, May 10, 2008

I'm a Non-Mom

I discovered something about myself just in time for Mother's Day 2008: I'm a non-mom.

Teleflora created a contest this year entitled "America's Favorite Mom," with five categories of mothers: the Military Mom, the Single Mom, the Working Mom, the CEO of Everything Mom and, my personal favorite, the Non-Mom. The Non-Mom category, which they recently yesterday retitled the Adopting Mom, includes grandmothers raising their grandchildren, stepmothers raising stepchildren and mothers of adoptive children.

I. Have. No. Words.


I wish I knew my non-mom status when I got up with the Tongginator at 2 AM last week while she vomited all over the house. Perhaps I wouldn't have held her hair away from her face, cleaned up the carpet and cuddled with her while she cried. After all, it was 2 AM. Only mothers do that sort of thing during the wee hours of the morning.

I wish I knew my non-mom status when I spent hours with the occupational therapist, registered dietitian, pediatrician and social worker during our first six months together as a family. After all, the high intensity and huge time commitment required completely altered the course of my life. Only mothers transform their futures for their children.

I wish I knew my non-mom status when I fretted about how to create pony tails, buns and braids because the Tongginator really, really, really wanted to "look pwetty." As a non-girly woman who knows little about fru-fru and ribbons, perhaps I shouldn't have bothered. After all, only mothers seek to accept their children for the people they truly are.

You know what, Teleflora, NBC executives and producers of The Today Show? Call me a non-mom. I don't care. The only opinion that matters, other than God's opinion, is the opinion of our little Tongginator.

And she doesn't think I'm a non-mom.

She doesn't even think I'm an adopting mom.

To her, I'm just a mom.

HER mom.


Despite your high levels of IQ, various educational degrees and sophisticated opinions, I believe our little Tongginator may be a step ahead of y'all. She's probably brighter than all of you combined.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom.

Well, maybe I am.

After all, only a non-mom fails to brag about her child.


Veronica Mitchell said...

I don't know if my last comment made it or not. Your blog is set to only accept comments from certain blogging platforms.

Anyway, the gist: you real mom. Teleflora dumb.

Mamatini said...

Oh. They. Did. Not!

Pshaw, I prefer to simply me a mom, no labels. Thankyouverymuch.

Aunt LoLo said...

Good heavens...at least you have a category. ;-) What about us moms who aren't single, don't work, don't run the show with an iron fist, don't share our husbands with the military...what about the women just trying to make it work, with a loving husband and a little family, trying to teach them what God wants while not pulling their own hair out? Hmm...maybe we should make our own category, sweetie - Just Moms. If you ask my niece, she's got OODLES of mothers. ('cause, see...she's the only two year old I know with a vocabulary of 7 words.) All women who are helpful in any way are called Mama...until they get chubby. Then they get the name Nana. (Just please don't EVER tell her two grandmother's that. One is normal, and the other is ridiculously skinny...but thinks she isn't. :-)) My sister earned that one around week 15 of her pregnancy and was NOT amused. ;-)

Oh, and if you wanted to give me another label...I guess I'd fall under Crazy Mom. I let BBJ lick things she shouldn't, if she picks it up and eats it before I can stop her, more power to her. We're just trying to survive!

Anonymous said...

Grrrr... I saw that on another site and just about puked myself! What a terrible way to "honor" a mom. We know better don't we?

prechrswife said...

Well stated. I didn't come across all of this until they had already changed the name of the category, so I didn't get to put my 2 cents into their flood of complaint emails. As you know, I have 2 girls, and I am "mom" to both of them, even though one was adopted from China and one was born to me biologically. Either way, I am their mother. It is ridiculous to say otherwise.

Rhonda said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog, as you know I'm totally with you on this one.

What I cannot fathom is how many people gave this the proverbial 'green light' and nobody saw anything wrong with calling adoptive moms 'non-moms'? How ridiculous, demeaning and down right hurtful!

Why couldn't they just call us, oh, I don't know...moms? As I mentioned on my blog, it's not like adopting moms don't fall into the other categories. NBC should take their head out of their @$$ and realize that you *gasp* can be a working mom and be an adoptive mom as well (or any of the other combinations or permutations that they had on the site). Will wonders never cease?!

Yes, I'm still seething...

Dawn said...

I didn't see it until I clicked over from your link and they had already changed the name of it. I can see how the woman who runs the orphanage and the woman who raised her siblings could be in a special category, but adoptive moms? I don't think so. Adoptive moms are regular moms and shouldn't be singled out from the rest of the moms. It is totally ridiculous. At least they changed the name from Non-Moms, but I don't think it's right to put adoptive moms in the same category as non-moms who may not really be moms but are in the role of a mom. Those real non-moms are to be commended and deserve their own category, but adoptive moms are real moms who fit into one of the other categories depending on their situation. It really doesn't surprise me that they would do something like that because, unfortunately, there is no shortage of idiots in this world.

By the way, Happy Mother's Day to you.

Gerbil said...

Ye cats and little fishes.

I am struck dumb.

That has GOT to be the most shortsighted and STUPID decision ever made by a marketing wonk. NON-mom? Are you KIDDING me? (also, does one get to be a grandmother without being a mom first????) ARE YOU SERIOUS??

(I also take exception to a stepparent being a "non-mom". I'm a stepkid and my dad is MORE of a father to me than my biological parent ever could have been.)

Being a parent does not necessarily have anything to do with conception or delivery. Being a parent is about love. And sacrifice. And vomit and poop and tears and rough times and making sure that your child is prepared to go out into the world and thrive.

They can take that 'Non" thing and cram it into their ear. Sideways. And they can find their money from somewhere else because they sure won't be getting it from me.

Cajunchic said...

You have to wonder how someone could be educated enough to work in advertising or to run a company and still make such a bad decision. My husband has a mother and a mom if that makes since. His mother could not raise him for most of his life due to mental illness but his aunt did and she is his mom. not his aunt but his mom. Just like his dad is not his biological father but actually his step father who helped raise him after his mother took him back in. Their is a big difference between being a birth mother and being a mom.

Boom said...

That is truly unbelievable.

I was hoping when you said the "non mom" category that they were talking about moms who don't like making play-doh from scratch or running in a circle on the red mat at gymboree (a category that I fit into nicely)...or that maybe they were referring to...DADS?!? Or something?

Um, Wow.

discombobulated said...

complete idiocy. what a bunch of nonthinkers.