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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Termite Saga, Part 3

All I can say is: God works in mysterious ways.

Excuse me while I sing the Hallelujah Chorus slightly off-key (because Tonggu Momma is quite definitely tone-deaf). My most sincere apologies to you, my five fifteen readers, who must listen to my sadly pathetic rendition, and also to dear Mr. Handel, who did not have me in mind when he wrote the glorious Messiah oratorio.

But truly, God works in mysterious ways. Who knew I could ever feel even the slightest bit of gratitude about Our Termite Invasion?

But I do. Oh, I do.

Why, you might ask? I mean, seriously, it's costing us just under $2,000 to perform the Mass Execution. We still don't know the extent of the damage inside our walls. Most importantly, termite-induced heebie jeebies cause sane people to shudder through the night.

So why do I feel even slightly grateful? I have two words for you:

Our Garage.

I've waited years for this day. YEARS! All in God's timing, I say.

The Mass Executioners must have access to two garage walls this afternoon, so that they can drill holes into the floor to inject Lethal Termite Poison. As a result, yesterday evening the neighbors witnessed the Husband's Mad Scramble. He threw things out I once despaired would be with us during our retirement years - things such as:
  • a no-longer-working boom box dating from 1987 (the Husband's high school graduation present from his parents Bubble and Squeak);
  • his baseball cleats, which he last wore over 15 years ago during his U.S. Navy rec league days;
  • a bucket of dirt (who knows, we might have NEEDED that dirt someday!); and
  • a metal bucket that has a golf ball sized hole in it
Hey -- did you just see that pig fly past? Oh... was it just me? Sorry.

It still isn't much to look at yet. There exists a pile as tall as Mount Fuji sitting square in the middle of our garage floor. BUT there also exists a huge pile of trash waiting for our trash pick-up guys. The Husband's garage landfill is slowly making its way to the county landfill. Now, typically, the Husband and I would be the Saviors of Goodwill. We love to donate. Unfortunately, Goodwill won't take this stuff.

Seriously.

They won't.

We tried.

But the county landfill has no such stringent requirements. God is good!

Stayed tuned for details from the Mass Execution and also Before-During-After pictures of the garage.

3 comments:

Kim said...

You've had quite a busy week! Your garage doesn't look THAT bad...there is hope! Maybe soon you will actually get to use it for its intended purpose...parking

Gerbil said...

Boy if that isn't the definition of silver lining!!!!

discombobulated said...

Too funny. Bucket of dirt!? Maybe you should have kept it since dirt is a scarce commodity!