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Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Mass Execution

Boots? Check.

Rubber gloves? Check.

Baby wipes? Check.

Windex? Check.

I am ready -- so very ready. Bring it, you little stinkers!

I'm sure by now you are thinking, 'what the heck is Tonggu Momma talking about?' Well, let me travel back in time to the conversation I had yesterday with one of the Mass Executioners.

MASS EXECUTIONER: Okay, so this should take care of the problem within a couple of days. You need to be on the look-out in your house until about Saturday or so.


MASS EXECUTIONER: Well, we've basically placed poison around the perimeter of your house. They're going to try to find a way to escape that poison. So don't be surprised if you find the termites swarming somewhere else in your house over the next day or two.


MASS EXECUTIONER: (speaking slowly now, as if to a three-year-old) They might come out again, but just remember that it's a good sign. So don't worry if you see them. It'll be the last of 'em. Just grab some Windex and spray them with it. That'll kill them.


THE HUSBAND: (coming up behind me to place his hands on my shoulders) Right. We got it. (turning me around to face him) Windex, honey. Just like before. Spray them with Windex and wipe them up. It will be over in a few days.

TONGGU MOMMA: What? Oh, right. Okay. Windex. Got it.

MASS EXECUTIONER: Something smells good. Is that spaghetti?

For those of you interested in furthering your education a bit, here are a few photos of The Mass Execution. Basically the Mass Executioners (three of them participated) drilled holes around the perimeter of our home and injected poison into the ground using a tool that looks like a glue gun on steroids, with rubber hose attached. Sometimes they drilled holes in the dirt, sometimes first through concrete slabs (think garage floor and porch).

Now aren't you glad you don't live my life? I mean seriously. Windex?

I'll say it again...



discombobulated said...

I would totally die. You nipped that right in the bud! They came to your house stat! But do you still have to assess any damage?

Gerbil said...

did you see My Big Fat Greek Weddng??? put some windex on it...

Kim said...

what a nice way to summarize a bad bug...you are very lucky we paid over $3k the FIRST time...wound up exterminating the whole entire NEIGHBORHOOD in the process thanks very much...then we moved right afterwards...next house only cost bout 2k and we were in the process of selling at the time...so I've never been around to see the after effects of the poison...gives me the heebie jeebies to think of it...I can just see you with a holster and a windex "gun" ready to kill those lil varmits! I hope you are bug free soon!

Cajunchic said...

I think you handled it better than I would have. Yuck!

I am so glad you came by my blog today. I had lost the link to yours and was hoping you would. I have it bookmarked in my google reader now though so I will know when you post a new post. Thanks for the advice. It always helps to hear others have gone through the same thing.