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Friday, April 25, 2008

Acting Lessons

Do you remember a previous reference to my very large feet? No? Well, I have humongous feet. Not, say, a size eleven or anything, but nine-and-a-half double-wide feet definitely generate a few snide remarks. (I know. You shoulda seen them in my ballet shoes.)

Yes, the size of my feet is important to the story.

Sort of.

Earlier this week, the Tongginator walked Frankenstein-like into the kitchen wearing my bedroom slippers, which of course are humongous to match my over-sized feet. She growled at me, "I. Am. A. Giant."

I responded in an appropriate manner.

Or so I thought.

I placed my hands up by my face and did my best impression of Edvard Munch's "The Scream."

: (dropping character) No, Momma. You need to do it more like this. (she placed her hands directly on her cheeks and yelled 'Oh, no!,' then quickly returned to her Monster Persona) I. Am. A. Giant!!!!

I humbly adjusted my performance to better meet her cinematic vision. She, however, didn't feel I delivered enough, even during the third (and fourth) go around.

: Momma, it needs to be louder. With more scary stuff. And you should move one of your hands from your cheek to your forehead like this. (With that, she placed one hand, palm out, on her forehead with a woe-is-me look.)

I tried. I truly tried.

: (sighing) I guess that'll be okay. You're not very good at this, though, are you?

Frances McDormand
would wince if she could see me now. I comfort myself by believing that the Tongginator is the Next Great American Cinema Director.

Because otherwise I would simply be a Bad Actress.

A Very Bad Actress.

With Humongous Feet.


Cheri H said...

She sounds adorable! Maybe, just maybe she'll direct some wholesome movies for all of us to watch!

discombobulated said...

Another great story!
P.S. I think my feet are bigger than yours.

Cajunchic said...

Thanks i needed that laugh.

prechrswife said...

That is priceless! Somehow, I can see our junior Tongginator doing something similar in a couple of years. :-)