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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Another Cesspool

Works for Me Wednesday (WFMW): The Backwards Edition
Instead of offering a tip, I'm asking for one. Please, please help me! This post is a part of Shannon's Works for Me Wednesday hosted at Rocks in My Dryer. Check it out to see more Problems and Solutions!

I refuse to nag. It does not create harmony in the home ... all it does is drive a wedge between Tonggu Momma and the Husband.

I also acknowledge that I am part of The Problem. Ninety percent of The Problem belongs to the Husband, but at least fifty percent of Avoiding The Solution belongs to me. I know that Solving The Problem involves:

1. less me-time on the weekends while the Husband is otherwise occupied
2. Tonggu Momma weeding through my 10% of the problem
3. dealing with grumpiness (mine, his and the Tongginator's) during The Solution process

I need a blessedly easy Solution, ladies. I need an Attitude Adjustment (for me and him). I need a nag-free Way to Motivate the love of my life. Please, please, please help. I am sick of getting wet!

Here is The Problem:

A little background ... We have lived in our home for almost five years. The garage looks worse than it did when we first moved in. This garage looks worse than our previous garage, which I deemed a cesspool. The Husband hoards. The Husband owns Valuable Stuff and Sentimental Belongings. I cannot Solve the Problem by myself, as it would create too much Tension and Angst in our home.

What is the Solution?


Gettysburg Mom said...

I don't know that I have a solution... we moved into the house my husband grew up in last August. Every room had thirty years worth of stuff...and I'm still wading through it. I don't know if you have separate areas in the garage- but that's working for us. I get a storage/laundry area and he has tools/shop. i then move anything tool/shoppy to his area to be dealt with and he can do it at his convenience. I also presort boxes of stuff so he just has to look and decide to keep it or not. Good luck!

Vanessa said...

I think if you have contained the problem to the garage, that is a big start.

I would focus on telling him what you would be able to do with the garage if it were to get cleaned out:

1)park the cars there
2) let kids play when it's bad weather
3) work on projects
4) whatever

I'm sure it's really frustrating. My dh used to be much worse about keeping stuff, but he's usually willing to help me go through something with him. He doesn't sort through things without me standing there to be his cheerleader and hold the trash bag.

I would approach this situation prayerfully, but in a way that would make help him see that this is costing you something much better than the junk that was there.

Aunt LoLo said...

Will he agree to part with anything? You can haul it to Goodwill...or put it up on freecycle.org. If he won't do it voluntarily (which I'd COMPLETELY understand, since I am The Problem in our home) call Clean Sweep! hahaha...it's a TV show that clears out two rooms in your house, and makes you sort through stuff...and only about 1/3 of your stuff ever makes it back into your home. Pretty sweet!

Or, you can DIY the project - haul EVERYTHING out onto the driveway. Divide into three piles - Must Keep, Must Throw Away, Must Give Away. Then go through the Keep pile again, and get rid of half of it again. At the end of the day, call a Junk Hauler and have it taken away! (We sold our home this week, and TRUST ME there was enough junk hauled out of here...tell him how GOOD he will feel afterwards. If that doesn't work, do what I do to my hubby - tell him he can start working on buying NEW stuff!)

Jenna said...

I think the "being there to help" component is really helpful. If you tell your husband, "Please clean that up" they get a sense that while they are sweating away in the garage you are sitting inside eating bon-bons (fat chance, hunh?? :) They don't seem to notice the vast amount of things that we clean all by ourselves... Anyway, if you think it would be easiest to tackle it all at once, pick a day, schedule a babysitter and then hit the garage together as a joint effort. If you think that won't fly or will be too overwhelming, a tip that I have picked up is the "timer" method. Take a few boxes out with you, labeled "Sell", "Donate", "Relocate" (for things that should go somewhere else beside the garage) and "Keep." Then the two of you tackle whatever you can in however much time you put on the time (maybe half an hour or forty-five minutes). At the end of that time you decide to either keep going, or the next time you are going to meet and do it again.

I hope some (any) of that helps!

HopewellMomSchool said...

Pray! Maybe ask for a parking space for your anniversary? Prayer is the most important thing here though.

a Tonggu Momma said...

These are all wonderful suggestions! Thank you! Please keep them coming. I do need to pray more about it ... I have been praying, but not as faithfully as I could. Perhaps this is God's way of teaching me discipline. :) But please, keep them coming.