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Saturday, March 1, 2008

Meeting the Husband

"The odds were really good, but the goods were really odd."

I met the Husband on Halloween, on my first day of work at my very first "real" job -- it was a small network engineering company that another, larger company eventually bought out just before the Tech Boom went bust. I was fresh out of college and a young, naive 22-year-old, although I later discovered that most of my co-workers (including the Husband) assumed I was closer to 25 or 26.

Eighty plus people worked at the office ... and only seven women, including me. The vast majority of the men were single, in their mid- to late twenties, and worked so much overtime they rarely met any women, although they desperately wished to change that fact. My six female co-workers included: a woman married to one of our coworkers; a bitter divorcee; a woman who believed she could channel her sister spirits on the planet Venus; a senior citizen; a wiccan; and an engaged woman.

My first day in the office, I looked around and thought "uh-oh." The very next morning I placed on my desk a framed photo of my goddaughter Mink, the daughter of Otter. This did the trick, for the most part, since most of my co-workers lacked the maturity to date a single mother.

Only three guys asked me out:

the Husband's boss, who wore scary-looking 1980's weightlifter pants on weekends... I, of course, said no to the date, but unfortunately also added that I didn't feel it was appropriate to date a colleague. THAT remark later made life somewhat difficult for the Husband. This boss later went on to become a millionaire, but no amount of money could make up for those pants, not to mention his lack of humor and ethics.

Alien Guy, who truly believed he'd been abducted by aliens and arrived home on Earth with an implanted probe in his head ... He had a computer printed "picture" of himself with his arm around an ET-like alien who wore a wedding dress, and the words "when will it end?" printed above it all. Not only did I say no, the next few months I practically ran from him whenever our paths crossed.

the Husband, who wore a wedding ring while flirting with me, so I thought he was one of the skeeziest guys I'd ever met, despite God whispering to me that Tonggu Daddy was THE ONE ... Later I learned that the husband was months from divorce, with a soon-to-be ex-wife living on the opposite coast. (In actuality, the Husband grieved so heavily about his wife's affair, desertion and the end of his marriage, it took the hope of a new relationship for him to remove that ring.)

When DH asked me out, I replied, "Uh... you're married." He, thinking I already knew of his legal separation, responded, "Oh, is that a problem?"

Umm ... yeah?

After I learned his wife currently lived with her girlfriend on the opposite coast (yes, I said girlfriend, and yes, that's what I meant), and we spent about a month hanging out as friends, I decided to try one date. One date led to another, and another -- we became engaged a year later, and married a year after that. It's now been nine years since our wedding and I feel so blessed to be his wife.

Oh, and about five years ago, I met the ex-wife's girlfriend at our veterinarian's office. She'd recently moved back to the area after breaking it off with the Husband's ex-wife. We sat next to one another, me holding my cat, and she holding her dog. It felt to me a rather surreal experience since I knew who she was, but she didn't know I was the Husband's new wife. (I like to call myself his forever wife ... get it?) I didn't quite know how to mention our shared acquaintance to her, so instead I just smiled and engaged in small talk, before cheerfully going on my way with Cat in tow.

That is the long version of how Tonggu Momma met Tonggu Daddy. When others ask how we met, they usually receive the short version. I typically sum it up by explaining, "We met at work on Halloween. The odds were really good, but the goods were really odd."


Special K said...

Cute story.

PS. I like to call my first marriage...
my "practice" marriage.
That way if it ever happens again I'll know how to do it right. LOL!

Aunt LoLo said...

"The odds were really good but the goods were really odd."

Love it!