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Monday, February 25, 2008

Spider Adoption?

Early last week the Husband and our Tongginator spent a half-hour after dinner/ before bath playing the Tongginator's favorite board game Cariboo. I, good little fifties wife that I am (not!), spent that time folding clothes in the laundry room.

Half-way through the game, the Husband notices something and, not yet well versed in little girl hysterics, says to the Tongginator, "Piglet, get up and walk towards Mommy. There's a spider behind you." Well, that did it!

The Tongginator reacted as most females are wont to do ... which surprised the Husband, clueless male that he is. I, you see, am not afraid of spiders. The Tongginator began squealing in abject terror, while I ran out of the laundry room to snatch her up. Within seconds, the Husband arrived to "save the day." At least, that's what he thought would happen.

He carried a rolled up magazine in his hand. Before I could open my mouth to suggest an alternate plan, the Husband squashed the spider dead, in full view of the Tongginator. Of course the hysterics quadrupled at that point.

Trying to ease the Tongginator's mind, Husband said to her, "Sweetheart, it's okay. Daddy got the spider." Of course, despite her abject terror of the creature, the Tongginator still couldn't understand why Tonggu Daddy "whacked" the spider. When the Husband tried to explain further, all I could do was shake my head.

HUSBAND: Piglet, I had to get rid of the spider. Whenever mommy spiders are around, that means lots and lots of baby spiders. And we don't want lots of baby spiders in the house.

TONGGINATOR: (as her compassionate heart began bleeding more fully) But where are the baby spiders?

HUSBAND: Ummm... and mommy spiders always eat the daddy spiders, so we had to stop her before she could eat the daddy spider.

TONGGINATOR: Eewww. That's yucky. (tears still streaming) But where are the baby spiders?

HUSBAND: Ummmm....

At this point, the Husband glances at me for help and -- for the first time -- notices I am glaring daggers at him. He quietly scoops up the spider and walks from the room. Seconds later the Tongginator's eyes widen as she and I hear the toilet flush.

TONGGINATOR: Did Daddy flush the mommy spider down the toilet?

TONGGU MOMMA: I don't know, sweetie. You'll have to ask him.

TONGGINATOR: But where are the baby spiders?

(sigh) Piglet, there are no baby spiders.

TONGGINATOR: There aren't?

TONGGU MOMMA: No, there aren't.

TONGGINATOR: (deeply puzzled) But Daddy said there were ... (face brightening) I know! Maybe the momma and daddy spider need to get on an airplane before they go to meet their baby spiders.

TONGGU MOMMA: (laughing now) Maybe they do! Maybe they do!

The Husband reminded me of this story last night, when he shared:

HUSBAND: You know, the Tongginator's talked to me about the spider a couple of times this week.

TONGGU MOMMA: I expected that.

HUSBAND: Do you still want to kill me?


HUSBAND: I don't think that was my finest hour.

I'm glad I gave him a chance to realize that before I whacked him dead. The poor guy just didn't know any better. I don't think this is a lesson he soon will forget.


Janet said...

Tee hee. In our house we "save" the spiders. Or the cat eats them. Spiders don't really creep me out. But if a MOUSE got into our house....um, yeah, it would be dead. :-)