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Monday, January 28, 2008

My Wait Jars

I must confess something. I have a wait jar. Actually, even more embarrassing than that: I have two wait jars.

The first sits in the entryway of our home. At present, it contains exactly 176 colored pebbles because that is how many days remain between our log-in date (LID) and the most recent LID referred by the CCAA. Each month, when referrals arrive, I count the number of days referred and remove the corresponding number of pebbles from the jar. It seems like an exercise in torture, and it can sometimes feel that way, but it does cut down on questions. Most of our family and friends simply check out the wait jar to get an idea of where we are in the process.

Our second wait jar is in the other bedroom. If you are currently waiting for a child to join your family, then you know exactly what room I mean. I created this wait jar when we mailed our dossier to China. We kept a similar jar when we waited to adopt the Tongginator, so I wanted to continue the tradition. The Tongginator's wait jar contains exactly 249 pebbles to reflect the days between our LID and the day we first held her in our arms.

When we went DTC (dossier to China) in June 2006, Husband and I expected -- worst case scenario -- an 18 month wait. I planned well, buying a jar triple the size of Piglet's jar, as well as five bags of pretty red pebbles. At this precise moment, this second wait jar contains 594 red pebbles. That's how long we've waited so far: 594 days since our LID.

It seems an odd number. 594. It's very near 600, so why am I choosing today to write about my wait jars? You'd think I'd wait a measly six more days to mark that significant milestone. So why now? Why today?

I've run out of my pretty red pebbles. And I can't decide whether to run to Michael's to purchase more or to simply let it go.